Once I was in a bar talking to this girl and she was a Linguist.  She was explaining to me about what lab experiments they were running and it had to do with sound shifts and I excitedly perked up and said, “Oh, sound shifts.  You mean like Grimm’s Law!”  I was excited to know what she was talking about but she was really excited because I knew what Grimm’s Law was.  She wanted to know how on Earth I knew that.  I didn’t have an answer for her and kind of just had to shrug and say, “I dunno, I just know stuff”.  I bring this up not to impress you all but because Mel Clarke is a lot like Grimm’s law.  Not that Mel Clarke has anything to do with why Germanic languages use an F sound where Romance Languages use a P sound from the original Indo-European root, I mean she might be, I am not an expert, I am a dilettante clearly, I just mean I don’t know why I know who Mel Clarke is but I do and I feel like I always have.  Now it’s very unlikely I have always known who she is because I don’t think she modeled for the first 18 years of her life but it seems like the entire time she has been modeling i have been like, “Oh yeah, that girl with the amazing eyes and dark hair, that’s Mel Clarke”.  I just knew.  And she has always been all over tumblr, she even has her own tumblr.  But being the dilettante I am I basically know she is British, she is a model, she is a DJ.  I know nothing more.  Other than the fact that she is just gorgeous.  And she must be amazingly good at her job for her to be a fact my brain just knows, like Grimm’s Law or who the only English King is with the epitaph The Great.  So there you have it, Mel Clarke, Alfred the Great, and Grimm’s Law, among the most important things to ever come out of England.  Except Grimm’s law, that was German, it just helps explain parts of our language. Man, this went off the tracks.  Today I want to fuck Mel Clarke.