I bet you guys thought I was done with Alex Morgan for a while!  Nope, the ESPYs were last night so suck it!  That’s right, the bullshitiest of bullshit awards shows, the show that gives awards to sports, which not only all have their own awards but you don’t need to vote on who is the best because they play actual games to decide who is the best, was last night.  And thank god for our over saturation of media because without the ESPYs there would be a large number of Athlete I would never get to see on the red carpet.  Female athletes tend to be largely ignored except for the every 4 years we see them in some global event.  So I like it.  And I actually have not been the biggest fan of some of Alex Morgan’s outfits over the years.  This isn’t stunning because when your job is playing soccer and your defining skill is running really fast that in no way transfer into fashion knowledge.  It’s a whole separate skill set so you may not have both.  Like, I don’t run fast at all.  But I bought some really cool socks a couple of weeks ago.  They have flamingos on them. Because I am a fashion icon.  But not a world class athlete.  But last night I really liked what she wore, so that is good.  It was probably my second favorite dress but you know what, that Goalie isn’t getting posted.  My thoughts on that are too complicated. So here is Alex Morgan because she is gorgeous and I was happy to see her and all of that.  Today I want to fuck Alex Morgan.