So when I was a kid my dad used to take me to the racetrack and would give me $5 and told me I could get something to eat or I could place a bet and grow my money and thus get something to eat and go home with money as well. I guess this could surprise some people but really, you couldn’t have thought this blog was the end result of good parenting. Anyway, I am far from some horse whisperer or magical handicapper or anything but I know a fair bit about rating horseflesh. Enough so I guess that I don’t find it disturbing to use the phrase horseflesh. I mean, I can read a racing form and I mean I know parimutuel isn’t some stock brokerage. Anyway, my point is I am not a complete novice when it comes to this kind of thing but I have absolutely no clue what stupid hats have to do with horse racing. Especially cause the only stupid hats we really had were when some guy got really drunk and put a popcorn box on his head or something. Now, a cynical person would say that stupid hats have nothing to do with horse racing at all but are instead a way for the wealthy to separate the prestige of the events they attend and the tracks they frequent from the ones the hoi polloi do. A cynical person would say that. Me, I figure that can’t be, no one would wear a hat that stupid to feel better than someone else because you can’t possibly feel superior to anyone when you wear a dumb ass hat. Well, not for long. When I went to college a bunch of dudes would wear bucket hats to seem cool or hip or unique or whatever soul sucking insecurity inhabits the hearts of 18 year olds and forces them to choose an affectation to feel special. My point is they were everywhere. And they all got mocked and within a month the bucket hats were gone. None of those guys ever grew up to be Queen so if they could figure it out rich people must be able to. Anyway, here is Kelly Brook in some stupid hats because despite all this I do kind of like the stupid hats. Not enough to ever want to like, be seen with one, but I do kind of enjoy the pictures once a year from the Royal Ascot and the Kentucky Derby. Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.