Whenever I go this far off the reservation to include people who aren’t, you know, real, it seems to be kind of unpopular. I can get that… to a degree. It also can be hard because given someone who is fabricated from some writers mind you’d think there would be lots of art to choose from but searches mainly bring up… well, porn (and costplay. But it feels wrong to throw cosplayers up here for some reason). Still, I figure there has to be some appeal to the idea of a superhero, they wear skin tight stuff for a reason, right? They also represent mythic archtypes by and large, so even someone who many of my followers won’t know, like Ms. Marvel is designed at her core to get some basic reaction from people. Of course, maybe the reason she’s always been a second tier hero is because she doesn’t illicit what she’s supposed to. I don’t know, there is also the whole problematic thing that so many female heroes are created as a female counterpart to an established male. I don’t want to get into any of that right now, I just want to say that I understand why I see so many people crushing on characters from books or TV shows that they love, this really isn’t any different, you establish a relationship with a character (admittedly a one way relationship but probably healthier than the one way relationship we have with celebrities) and you get to know them better than you know many people. Of course, like anything half of what you think you see in them is you seeing what you want to see but my point is it makes sense that we care deeply about them. Ms. Marvel has been a character I have been reading about since the early 80’s. And I like her costumes, though fuck it was hard to find even halfway decent pictures (yes, I know, one is Moonstone in her costume but it’s the best I can find and that is such a great costume). Anyway, I think it’s ok to find fictional characters attractive, as long as we remember to go outside sometimes. Today I want to fuck Ms. Marvel.
Tag: blonde
Holly Willoughby is here today because it’s my friend’s birthday. I realize that sounds strange and all but this is part of our attachment to celebrities. No, not my friend’s birthday but that we have connections to something we care about associated with them. My Amber Benson post proved to be rather popular and obviously people care about her because they loved Buffy and they loved the character she played and so while they don’t actually know her they know she makes them think of those things and the joy it brought. It’s like a song that makes you remember a great time in your life. Sure the song is good and you enjoy the song but you love the song because of what it represents. So with Holly, I only know who she is because I was flat out told, “You should take a look at Holly Willoughby, I think she’s really someone you’d like”. Turns out that was totally correct, she is pretty an has a wholesomeness to her that is appealing and just makes it seem even sexier when she does… well, something blatantly sexy. It’s hard to quite describe but I don’t have to, all I have to do is say that is why my friend’s birthday makes me think of Holly and it’s also part of why I like Holly, because I get to think of my friend. It’s a whole circle thing. Anyway, happy birthday out there, Holly is very pretty and appealing and friends are great so today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.
I kind of keep a mental list in my head at all time of my current top 5. Well, not all times, that makes me sound obsessive or something. Rather, if you were to ask me I could probably quickly rattle them off and it is something I think about sometimes. Mainly I think about it in relation to how it has changed over time. It tends to be a mercurial thing by nature, I mean, it’s not like I just rotate 5 girls out here again and again, but I do find it is often pretty consistently the same handful of people for a stretch. The fact that I even think about this is no doubt why I have this tumblr. Anyway, what is interesting is how some mainstays will fall away. A year ago Blake Lively was pretty consistently there, a year before that she was there but consistently behind Leighton Meester. Now? I certainly wouldn’t turn her down but I don’t think about her very often, thus she has fallen to the wayside. It’s strange really, how we get bored with celebrities. I guess it’s the superficial nature of things. When I was a kid I had plenty of toys and most toys bore you after a while because there is no real connection there. Except Fluffy, my Teddy Bear. He was pretty much my best friend and I never got bored of him. He still sits on a shelf in my closet. Because I loved him. I guess celebrities are a lot like shiny toys, we rarely create any real connection with them, at least not a reciprocal one, and so our attention falls to someone else. It’s why the biggest stars of 2005 are also-rans now. It’s not them, it’s us. But you know, sometimes you can remember why because the truth is Blake Lively hasn’t gotten less hot. I just think about her less. I don’t have a larger point here, sometimes I just ramble about whatever is on my mind. Today this was on my mind. Today Blake Lively is on my mind. Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.
I put Emma Stone in basically the same category as Sarah Michelle Gellar, which should make sense to no one except me. Which is fine, since I am the one grouping them as such. But they are similar to me in that I get they are very pretty, I get that many people find them incredibly hot. I think they are pretty. Yet watching SMG all those years on Buffy giving interviews or whatever I never wanted to make out with her, I kind of wanted to hang out with her, she seemed really cool, like she’d be fun to be friends with. Emma Stone is the same way. I mean, I am not blind, she is really pretty and I know people who really like her but I am always like, she’d be fun to hang out with. Which is strange, I don’t know what it is and it means I am surprised she is here in this blog because what am I going to say? Man, I want to friend her so hard! I mean just friend her all night. I’d like to just go meet her in a bar and then listen to how her day was and then we could totally play darts! Or… whatever, I got lost. Anyway, she is here because she IS pretty and she IS attractive and well, I’m not blind. So today something slipped through and it’s just a little different, this once at least I can say today I want to fuck Emma Stone.
Hey look it’s my secret girlfriend Kate Upton. Secret Girlfriend you say? Why yes, it’s so secret she doesn’t even know! Or know me. But this is the 20th time I am posting her in less than a year which in some countries makes us already married. What countries? Well… uh… WhoIwanttofuckistan, the sovereign principality that exists over my computer. Really, it’s an up and comer, just waiting on that UN recognition so I can finally declare war on the condo upstairs for violating my airspace. Anyway, once I am officially the rule of my own nation I am sure winning Kate’s heart will be no problem, she could be the Grace Kelly of her generation. We have a lot in common, I seem to have a thing for girls named Katherine. And Blondes. And her. She is a Katherine, she is blonde, she is her. It’s like a fairy tale but with fewer toads and more blog entries that will inevitably be admitted as evidence in the stalking trial. Anyway, my point is I realize I am closing in on obsessed, or you know, I passed obsessed a few exits back, but I really like Kate Upton. She is pretty and lively and good at her job and just a joy to behold. So today I want to fuck Kate Upton.
I have a lot of affection for Amanda Seyfried, for me it’s because Lily Kane was an amazing character and she was so good at it and it was my favorite show so… I like her. I know other people have different reasons, I’d imagine there is a whole generation, or mini generation with a lot of love for Mean Girls and it’s entire cast. I don’t have much to say other than I don’t see stuff she is in that often but when I do I can’t help but remember I think she is talented and gorgeous. So today I want to fuck Amanda Seyfried.
It should surprise no one who has actually followed this blog for long that I track the Miss Mosh tag because obviously I put Miss Mosh right above sliced bread in the rankings of things that are great. So a while back I saw someone posting that it made them cry that the would never be as pretty as Mosh and it struck me as odd. Way back in the ancient days before the internet ruled the world Mosh would not have been able to be a model, at least not one as popular as she is now. She’s an alternative model for a reason and one of the nicest things about alternative models is that it shows you a lot (I mean a lot, you guys have no idea) of beautiful women that don’t conform to a strict set of rules for beauty yet are still undeniably gorgeous. Mosh is undeniably gorgeous but if this was 1980 no one who tracks that tag would know who she was because no one would have put her pictures out there. Which is fucking stunning but brings me to another point, it is pretty silly for people out there to be comparing themselves to Mosh as if the way she looks is the only way someone can look beautiful. Now, I am not here to blow smoke up anyone’s ass, there is a real chance you may not be as attractive in my eyes as Mosh is and yes there are physically unattractive people out there but I am going to tell you something as a for real big time adult who is thankfully far removed from the unconditional insecurity of teendom: It matters so much less than you can ever imagine. I am not going to preach to you about inner beauty or anything like that because it won’t make anyone feel better who doesn’t but I will tell everyone something for their own good, it won’t matter very one day. Believe me, as an adult it will matter so much more if you’re interesting than if you might have a nice butt. I won’t lie, nice butts help, physical attraction matters but I will tell you, when you have been out of high school for 10 years and you find yourself sitting down across the table from a teenage crush and it turns out they are vapid an boring as fuck? It suddenly stops mattering how good they looked then or even how good they look now, you want the fuck out of this awkward cup of coffee and you are no longer attracted to them. You would be stunned how much more attractive the girl who can discuss literature or your favorite TV show or fucking anything interesting is by the end of the night. Of course, getting a hair cut, hitting the gym, and not dressing in stuff you found in the dumpster will help anyone out, though in my experience that really applies much more to my male friends, so your mileage may vary on that advice. My point is that Mosh is not perfect. I don’t know her but I know she has some flaws somewhere. I also know she must have days where she looks in the mirror and can see something she doesn’t like, or days where she feels insecure. I also know that she isn’t this successful as a model just because she’s pretty, in the real world that isn’t enough, not even modeling, there is more to her. But more importantly this blog is called who I want to fuck today, so I post a lot of beautiful women but really they are just wax figures, I don’t know them, they are set up as objects of desire but it is nothing substantial or real. Everyone should remember that about the internet, when you see gorgeous pictures you shouldn’t beat yourself up, those pictures are their to be works of art, to show beauty, they’re pictures, that’s their job, there is so much more to being a human being than that and you shouldn’t judge the three dimensional you on the single dimension of a picture. Ever. That said… this blog is still what it is and yeah, Mosh is amazing look so today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.
So I finally got around to see Silver Linings Playbook. I liked it. I won’t lie though, Jennifer Lawrence was ridiculously hot in it and that is kind of my main take away. I mean, the movie was good and there was lots to like but seriously it was my main thought on leaving the film. Now it’s like… 16 hours later? Something like that and I am still going, “Man, Jennifer Lawrence was hot in that movie”. So nothing deep today, just simply that today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.
Like most kids my age I really loved Super Mario Bros. Actually, it goes back further than that, just plain Mario Bros was a favorite game for my Dad and I to play together at Chuck E Cheese’s. We made an awesome team and I hate to say it but my dad may have missed his calling as a super plumber because he was pretty damn good at it. Of course, Peach wasn’t really a thing then and then later she was a blob of pixels. I don’t think anything to do with video games had to do with me being attracted to Peach. At least, not my love of certain games, I think it has much more to do with the fact that she’s a princess. We are conditioned to like princesses from an early age, be it Fairy Tales, Video Games, Movies, there is a lesson that isn’t stated blatantly but is pretty clear that if you beat up a big enough bad guy you get to sleep with a princess. Oh sure, in some things you only get to sleep with a normal girl but the best things involve princesses. Sometimes you have to beat ever more difficult bad guys, like 8 bosses or something before you get to the princess. So deeply ingrained in us is that idea that sleeping with a princess must be pretty awesome. We peasants have no idea, there are only a handful of these creatures around really and I have never actually beat up a bad guy that I can remember. I mean, I guess it’s possible, like everyone there are one or two times in my early 20’s I ended up black out drunk but I doubt I beat up any bad guys and if I did I am pretty sure I didn’t sleep with any princesses. I guess it’s possible but you think they would have left something behind like a glass slipper or a seashell bra or a talking tea cup or something, Princesses are notoriously forgetful like that. So I think that is why, among video games, I have always thought Peach was the most attractive character out there. Or maybe something is wrong with me, I have only a couple times posted video game characters but I am always told it is odd. I get it (I mean, go looking for pictures, it’s a lot harder unless you want straight up porn, and even so.. well, you see the results, enjoy) but at the same time it doesn’t seem that odd to me, it’s all fantasy, the only reason Scarlet Johannson is more likely to end up in my bed one day is because she actually exists, not because there is some likelihood of us meeting and clicking. So reality be damned, today I want to fuck Princess Peach.
So the Golden Globes were last night and they could have at least turned this blog into an hourly thing instead of a daily thing. The point is there were a lot of pretty people in pretty clothing being pretty. It left me with a lot of options for today and I have had all night to think about it. There were so many good looking people. In the end though it seems like I had no choice. Or, I had it narrowed down and couldn’t decide so I am not going to. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are wonderful, funny, beautiful people. I just absolutely love them and between the two of them they have had if not the top show a claim to a top 3 spot for best comedy on TV. And they hosted last night. Everyone hates awards show, sort of. I mean, we bitch about them and the jokes are flat and the speeches are boring and things go on too long but so many people watch, we must get some enjoyment out of them. My point is when they were on stage they were entertaining, irregardless of bad jokes or otherwise because they are just such funny people. The both are pretty, too. I have found Tina Fey attractive since she started hosting Weekend Update and the better Parks and Rec has gotten the more attractive I have found Amy Poehler. Anyway, my point is they are great and so today I want to fuck Amy Poehler and Tina Fey
Who I want to Fuck Today 