Angel Olsen – Who I want to Fuck Today

Hey guys it’s summer and not much is going on but that’s nice when my mind can just wander and not be too influenced by mass media. Well, sorta. I am posting a celebrity because I like her music but it feel more natural. There hasn’t been a push. I posted Jenny Lewis yesterday and that sent me down a record hole where I listened to a bunch of stuff and eventually I ended up on Angel Olsen and I am posting her. Today is easily my worst Angel Olsen post ever. Just pointing that out. This is the third time I have posted her and in the past I posted her on Thanksgiving because it just felt right each time and those are better. I have very little interesting to say today other than I really like her music and really hope to catch her on tour soonish. Today I want to fuck Angel Olsen.

Welp guys, it is Thanksgiving and I am posting Angel Olsen again because she was pretty successful last year. In that I mean a lot of people seemed to appreciate the post and I plan to give similar advice this year, only with a high fever and very little sleep added in to really spice things up (I accidentally typed Halloween to start and had to stare at it for 30 seconds to remember what was wrong). I guess the thing that needs to be said is that holidays are not always a great time for everyone. They just aren’t and I know in our brave new world they can be even more stressful. The first thing I want to tell you is that your reaction to Thanksgiving is ok. Your reaction to your family is ok, too. That feels maybe the most important. Most of you will just have to swallow your pride and try to keep quiet because you are going to somehow be the more mature one at the table. Some people might try to make you feel bad about that but not everything needs to be a battle. It’s ok to have a day off. There are so many reasons you might not be able to speak up. Maybe you’re still financially dependent on your family. Maybe you’re scared of some of your family. Maybe you’re held hostage by the fact that the shitty family members come with the ones you love and you’re held hostage by that. Maybe you just wanted some Turkey and a day off. There are so many reasons and they are all ok. You can let yourself off the hook on this one, even if someone posts something here telling you otherwise. They are wrong. No one knows your specific situation and I want the world to be a better place but I am not sure fighting with your family will do that. I am not sure that small incremental improvement if it exists is worth the price of you. Only you know your situation and I am saying it’s ok. No one else knows. What I do know is at some point it is going to get to you. You are going to crack under it all and this does not make you weak. It isn’t a failure in your part. It makes you human. Willpower is not an endless well and at some point it will be tapped out. Be it from having Narcissists as parents, being forced to sit across from your abuser, your “wacky” Uncle Jimmy or Pete or Billy or Jimbob and his thought on Muslims. Whatever it is it drains you and that’s ok. That’s why my advice comes in. Bring your headphones. Whatever is going on you can walk away. There is no shame in it, it is actually the adult decision and if the other adults there aren’t mature enough to realize it then it’s not your fault. Don’t make a scene, just go to the bathroom or to wash your hands. Then find your stuff, put on your headphones and go for a walk. Most people probably won’t even notice. If they do make an excuse. You needed 2000 more steps and had to get them in before you fell into a turkey coma. You felt light headed and needed some fresh air. You had a call you had to take. Whatever. But put those headphones on and listen to some music you love. Truly love. It doesn’t have to be upbeat, it just has to set your soul soaring. You’ll know better than I. It’s where Angel Olsen comes in. I think she’s brilliant and her album My Woman was in heavy Rotation this past year. This year I saved her new release to listen to for the same reason. Music can build a fortress around your senses and fortify your heart when you need it. Use it for that. Art can illuminate, it can educate, it can help you transcend your own shitty existence but it also can just be a soothing balme when you need it. Use it. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and do what you need to to make it trough. Remember, whoever is causing you stress will be gone in a few days but you will still have your music and you will still have some left overs when they are gone. That means you’re going to win. They cannot beat you. Today I want to fuck Angel Olsen.

Happy Thanksgiving guys, I hope you survive the experience. I know family gatherings and for some reason particularly Thanksgiving can be a stressful time for a lot of people. It can be hard to sit through your Uncle explaining why he supports neo-Nazis but isn’t a racist, he just wants a change. Or some guilt trip involving a combination of your hair, the disappointment that is your life, or some other person decision that someone has decided is an attack on them. I get it. When someone is deciding to do what they can to diminish you through passive aggressive advice or using rhetorical questions to point out why you and yours are the worst generation, don’t engage. Use headphones. Not earbuds but headphones. Earbuds are too easy for assholes to ignore, the only real purpose they serve is as a test for who is a big enough dick that he thinks what he has to say to you is more important than your clear wish to not be talking to people right now and let’s be honest, you don’t really need a test for that, that sort of person practically announces it. But headphones, headphones you can just point to them and shake your head. You can’t hear, sorry, and you’re in a big hurry. Once you point to them just do a kick-flip and skate away or complete a rim rattling slam dunk and walk off, never looking back (note, these only work if you are skateboarding or playing basketball at the time. if not think of your own thing. Whatever you do don’t grab your crotch and shout suck it, this is still your family after all, if you wanted a fight you wouldn’t need headphones). So my suggestion is when it gets to be too much don’t crack, just grab your headphones and go for a walk. Chances are no one will even notice you’re gone unless they are looking for an audience for whatever drama they are creating (this might be my family specific, I have no idea). My point is get out and listen to some music, music is a universal salve, it makes every situation better. Maybe start thinking about what to listen to now though, random can be dangerous. Anyway, all of this is why Angel Olsen is here because I think she has my favorite album of the year and there is a good chance she will be making a headphone appearance for me. Either way I am thankful for her album and her songwriting. And I am thankful for you guys. Well most of you. Not you Joey. You know what you did (I don’t know, I just chose a name at random but I kind of like the idea of making some random person paranoid) and you will get yours. Today I want to fuck Angel Olsen.