Cristi Harris – Who I want to Fuck Today

Sometimes I post kind of obscure people here but this is the first time it’s been so obscure I had to go look up the names. Not the spelling but like… hey, what are their names again? It’s also why I have grainy pictures, which makes sense because it’s like pausing an old VHS movie when you realize your bladder is about to burst. Sometimes I am surprised by how these obscure trips to the wayback machines prove popular but I am guessing right now this post gets like no attention. Now, I am a horror fan, I think people know that and that means I have seen a just a mountain of mediocre to bad movies that are forgettable except for just one or two things that stick with you. Like, everyone remembers the Antler death in Silent Night, Deadly Night or Linnea Quigley’s boobs in… whichever movie you liked best when she popped her top. See, boobs are still considered a big part of horror and they always were. It seems a little silly now when they take time out for a girl to get naked and honestly even sillier when someone complains that no one got naked in a horror movie because… boobs are everywhere. It’s not just because I am an adult (though I won’t lie, my boob access is much, much higher now than it was when I was a teenager) it’s because the world has changed. There was a point where seeing a girl topless required more than opening your laptop. Your options were pretty much someone’s dad having a 10 year old playboy, somehow convincing a real live girl to show them to you (this was more heard of than actually experienced by most people), or watching movies on premium cable channels. Which brings us to Night of the Demons 2. The movie is notable for… well, it’s not notable at all. I am sure many horror fans have seen and liked it but I don’t think there is much to distinguish it but Cristi Harris’ breasts and Zoe Trilling’s breasts. Those two girls are basically why I remember this movie fondly and am re-watching it as I type (scratch that, I am re-watching it for nostalgia but I am pretty sure my adoration of this movie is rooted in teenage memories of boobs). Both of them are very pretty and have been in a few bad horror movies but this movie… maybe it’s just that I was 15 but I was pretty sure Zoe Trilling especially was the hottest thing I had ever seen at one point in my life. That one point was probably like 2 AM on a Saturday in my Dad’s basement but there was that point. There isn’t a lot to go into here Zoe Trilling played the bitch slut mean girl who is a requirement to get the plot going and of course ends up possessed by demons and Cristi Harris played the nice girl who… still gets naked early on (And yeah, Ben Stiller’s wife was totally in it to. She was also in Hey Dude! For most people that means nothing but for a very specific group of people it will be, “Oh fuck, I remember Hey Dude!). For whatever reason they did it for me and I am watching the movie and it’s like, man, the internet needs to know these two girls who basically disappeared from the world’s eye 15 years ago were really hot. So, yeah, today I want to fuck Cristi Harris and Zoe Trilling.