Once upon a time, many many moons ago, I saw a band whose name I can’t remember open for the Hold Steady. Their bassist was so hot. Which should tell you it’s a woman because it’s a rule that male bassists get no play, female bassists are drop dead gorgeous. It’s a universe equalizing thing. Female Rhythm sections are hot, male bassist get no play (Drummers do get play. It’s a Darwinian thing, if they couldn’t get a girlfriend they’d have no where to live) (If you’re a bassist don’t send me angry asks, I am sure you have an example or something, like say Paul McCartney. That’s different, Beatle trumps Bassist. Believe me I will make up an excuse for your example). So I am watching this band and I mention to my friend who is as gay as the night is black or whatever else you want to use as an example to point out he wasn’t into the ladies, “That bassist is fucking hot”. He immediately said, “I’d fuck her”. I gave him a look and he said, “Musicians are hot”. He shrugged. I shrugged. He was right. Musicians are hot. So this is a long way of talking about Scarlett Stevens who it turns out is so hot. She is the drummer for San Cisco, who were introduced to me by my dear friend Izzy who is also a female drummer and as gay as the night is black, so you know, ladies… you should send her an ask, science says she’s got to be hot. Anyway, the song Awkward is pretty addictive and great and she has a pleasant voice and is cute as a button and I love music and when I love music I can’t help but transfer some of that to the people creating it. When one of them is also hot… look, you must get it, it must have happened to you. Anyway, the end result is today I want to fuck Scarlett Stevens.
Who I want to Fuck Today 