So Barbara Palvin was at one of the many, many events that go on during Fashion Week, this was some sort of dinner.  I assume for charity but maybe not?  Who knows.  I could look it up but I am willing to bed you don’t care. Anyway, among my favorite types of Barbara Palvin pics are ones where she is at an event and they are just snapping pics and she does something goofy, often followed by something sexy.  It’s a skill she has that most definitely sets her apart in certain ways.  She makes the transition from adorable goofball to sultry sexpot and back at light speed and I assume part of the reason I and others find it so appealing is it always looks like she’s having genuine fun doing so.  It’s nice to see people enjoy themselves unabashedly.  Anyway, here she is at various things because today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

So apparently the iHeartRadio Music Awards were last night and good for them, buck the trend by putting your awards not near any of the other big ones.  I don’t know much about it besides that and it keeps putting the song Me and You and Jackie Mittoo in my head, so uh, there’s that.  Anyway, Demi Lovato was there and I am sure there is something about her wearing a shiny outfit but really I am posting her because of her face.  She looked beautiful.  She is beautiful.  It’s sort of nice to see how she has seemed to mature into her beauty so well, in that she seems to get better looking all the time.  Not always a thing child stars are lucky enough to experience.  Anyway, I don’t have too much to say, I am busy listening to 90’s indie bands.  Today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.

Here’s Holly Willoughby because it’s pretty much documented medical fact at this point that I am way into blond British women. Just a thing about me. But also because Holly Willoughby is kind of a fascinating mix of wholesome and sexy. I guess… I am not sure what it is, maybe it’s the mystery that is human charisma and that charisma is different in different people.  I mean, obviously I have boundless charisma, it’s why I have a blog about what celebrities I want to sleep with on the internet, it’s the only way to protect you guys from my uncontrollably enchanting magnetism.  Sure, you might doubt it but if this wasn’t here to distract me you’d all have given me all your money by now, shaved your head, and you’d be making people uncomfortable on the street asking them if they have heard the good word about Yzlot, the Bringer of Destruction and Fire. Look, my core point is I am great but my secondary one is that charisma is weird, cause my ability to get you to join my cult is different than what has Holly Willoughby as a popular TV presenting in Britain.  And it’s not just her curves, though no doubt they play a factor.  Perhaps they are a good place to start though, because as an outsider I have seen people describe her as looking like the girl next door and you know what?  You’re wrong.  There was one girl next door, she was 86, she yelled at the birds, she did not look like that.  And to be honest, the implication of that is she is what a good, honest woman looks like which is funny because those curves are god given and there is nothing about them you just get from good clean living.  But Brits seem to assign to her some sort of basic pureness, like shes’ what women would look like if they were kind and good an that is her charisma.  See, it presents itself by her just seeming wholesome and kind of motherly and kind of just beyond reproach.  I mean, I have seen necklines literally down to her naval and it’s interesting who can and can’t pull that off.  Some people look desperate.  Some people, like Holly, still look wholesome.  Like, oh, she’s going to make an apple pie.  Or whatever the British equivalent of apple pie is.  Boiled Shoe leather?  Maybe.  It’s definitely boiled, those people boil everything.  This is getting off track, I didn’t come here to bash British cooking, I came here to praise their blond women.  Particularly Holly Willoughby who is a dichotomy I find just fascinating.  Also, she’s  hot. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

It’s the weekend, which of course means I am caught up with Riverdale and this week on Riverdale we learned that Betty’s parents are the greatest monsters in human history.  Seriously, it’s the Coopers, Hitler, Pol Pot, and those people who are in line and somehow don’t even think to look at the menu board until it’s their turn to order and then seem to think that everyone is there to wait on them instead of doing the polite thing and stepping aside to let others order until they have decided.  Betty’s parents are horrible and I hope the show doesn’t soften them much not because I want poor Betty to be miserable but because I think the show did some solid subtle work on the abusive nature of the Archie-Grundy thing and it’s important to point out sometimes parents are bad parents.  And they aren’t doing it because they love you so much or because they’d do anything for you, they’re doing it because they are shitty people who should not be allowed to raise children.  You know, it would be good if media meant for younger people (and people with severe cases of arrested development like me) had that message once in a while.  Anyway, that was probably the biggest reveal of the week but the second biggest for me was Veronica wearing cat ears.  This was a thing.  It turns out that as good as Camila Mendes looks in pearls and pencil skirts it turns out she looks even better in cat ears.  And I’ll be honest, deep down I’ve  secretly holding out for the classic Josie and the Pussy Cats costumes from the reruns of my youth (also, I can’t be the only one who would love to hear a rendition of the old theme song by the current incarnation of the band, right).  I can’t be the only one who thought Melody was hot in the cartoon when I was 5.  Right?  Anyone? I mean, long tails and ears for hats? Whatever. Look, what I didn’t ever imagine was Veronica Lodge in one of the Pussycats’ outfits.  Turns out it was what I wanted all along.  So thumbs up, CW, as long as you are fulfilling wishes maybe more publicity shots of your stars so I have more to choose some (or anything for your stars of color, they are like not on the Internet at all). Anyway, Camila Mendes looked great.  She is just stupid hot.  Today I want to fuck Camila Mendes.

So Nicki Minaj is in Paris for Fashion Week and thank god cause after New York they have all been a tad dull this time out.  I dunno why.  London passed with a whimper.  Milan as well.  Anyway, Nicki has been there and I am full willing to admit that thigh high mirrored boots or a chainmail dress with a white fur coat might not be to everyone’s taste but I love it.  It’s kind of nuts sure in that I can’t tell if she’s from space or a futuristic barbarian or what.  I mean, with that silver dress if I squint she’s either from Conan the Barbarian or Buck Rogers but you know what, both are fine.  It might have something to do with her new music video since the pictures she’s shared behind the scenes give me similar vibes at time.  Anyway, I am glad she was there because sure it was still like pulling teeth to actually find pictures of her there but at least this made it more like pulling a loose tooth.  Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

So not just one but two new photoshoots in magazines showed up with Jessica Chastain and obviously I knew I would be posting her today because Jessica Chastain is like that A-number-1 Boss of New York as far as I am concerned.  She is just a great actress but also, it turns out really pretty to look at.  And I thought she looked really pretty and it’s basically that simple.  I adore her, she showed up, she gets posted.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

Here’s a post that will at least make a couple of my followers really happy cause those of you who like Kristen Stewart are super gay dedicated fans.  So there is a devotion to her from some segments of my readership.  She did a shoot for V Magazine and honestly, some of it skews just so very slightly too far onto the weird side of things for me but some of it I liked a lot and I do have a weakness for dolled up photoshoot Kirsten Stewart.  So here she is because today I want to fuck Kristen Stewart.

Tumblr is being a real butthead today giving me upload errors for pics.  This has lead this to be a less exciting and more annoying post as I really just want to punch tumblr in the fact, not particularly lust after anyone.  Either way, there are still pictures from after parties coming in but my favorite so far is one I saw among the first, Emily Ratajkowski.  Now, the bottom of the gown may not have it’s fans, I am sure some people don’t like it.  I am kind of whatever on it.  It’s fine, it’s not exciting.  But the top portion is just great.  It’s beautiful and sexy an elegant and combines a lot of things I like.  She looks great.  Her hair looks great up.  And all of that is more than enough for me to love this look so today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

So the Oscars were last night and hey, some wild stuff sure happened there at the end.  Anyway, the fashion there was fine but not that exciting this year.  The Golden Globes were way better (though some of the viewing parties and after party pics are starting to come through and as often happens they are trumping the stuff worn the actual event).  As such, I really only had a couple of things that were tempting to post today and I went probably the safest route by choosing Amy Adams.  Not that I am complaining, for an actress I quite like and someone who is beautiful she pops up here so rarely.  Her silver dress is kind of classic looking but was just fantastic on her and it’s well documented I am easily impressed by shiny things.  I saw both of her big movies this year and I happened to like but not love both.  She was excellent in them though because of course she was.  She always is.  Today I want to fuck Amy Adams.

So the Oscars guys.  They’re tonight.  Which means last night was the Independent Spirit awards and really all weekend should have been lead up events and they must have happened but there are almost no pictures.  Like, Aubrey Plaza at the Independent Spirit Awards is it so far.  It’s a little shocking.  Luckily she looked good and hey, we always have the red carpet tonight to blow us away.  I like Aubrey Plaza and so I certainly don’t mind an excuse to post her.  I actually haven’t seen either of the movies she’s in this year but… well, I’ll get to them.  I have seen all the Oscar nominees though and what I assume everyone comes here for is my take on the Oscars.  I am not so good at guessing what will win and it strikes me as a foolish thing to be into, you aren’t even choosing what you think is best, just what you think others will think is best?  Well, obviously La La Land and Emma Stone will win because it’s like tailor made to make white people feel warm and fuzzy.  I mean, La La Land is fine, it’ll just be one of those wins in 5 years everyone will be a little embarrassed about but people really love it right now and I don’t want to sound to negative about it, I just think nostalgia is generally toxic for art and I also think the reason people like it is the same reason Trump got elected.  I didn’t come here to bash La La Land though, if you want to hear more you can message me.  No, I think that’ll win but probably if I had to choose the most impactful movie I saw of the picks it would be Manchester by the Sea.  Or maybe Moonlight.  Declaring which piece of art is the best also feels a little foolish to me.  Certainly some art is better than others but what is best for you and speaks to you the most often has to do with where you are in life, what you bring to it.  So I guess I will say that Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight, Fences, and Hell or High Water are all worth watching.  They are very good, though Fences you have to be in the mood for something stagey and Hell or High Water you should like Westerns.  Arrival is pretty solid and Captain Fantastic might appeal to some.  Hidden Figures is worth it just because it’s an under told story but also because it’s a by the numbers feel good movie, you will get to see a bunch of attractive, charismatic people work hard to get something, some giant booable asshole get in their way for a little bit, then they will overcome the giant booable asshole and get what they want.  We all feel good.  Your parents should like it.  I mean… you know your parents better than me but it is very feel good.  But Moonlight and Manchester by the Sea are the only two movies I think will stand the test of time.  They are soul crushing but very good.  Anyway, I figured that’s why everyone is really here but I am here because Aubrey Plaza sure is pretty.  And funny.  She is funny and pretty.  Today I want to fuck Aubrey Plaza.