So there was a charity thing last night and I am posting Ariel Winter cause, you know, basically boobs. I just felt I should be honest. That’s what it really boiled down to. I mean, I think he hair looks great too, when her hair looks good it is really nice. But you know, it’s not why she’s here. I hate to diminish someone in that way but at that same time boobs. So, y’know… today I want to fuck Ariel Winter.
This is Samantha Jones, who the Internet tells me was a Top Canadian Model in the 1960’s. I don’t know if that means she was Canadian and a Top Model or just at the top of Canadian Modeling, which is not an industry I imagine being over saturated in the 1960’s. But what do I know, it could all be bullshit. There aren’t that many pictures of her out there and almost all of them revolve around her appearance in the movie Wait Until Dark, which is how I found out about her. What I am saying is there is very little to confirm or deny anything about her except she was in that movie, so she could be the Viceroy of Quebec for all I know, there is nothing out there. Though there is a picture of her from Vogue, so she was at least a model. Someone else can do the research to find out what she was the top of. Anyway, she had just a bit part really but I saw her and thought, “Wow, that woman is beautiful”. So I looked her up, thus my expansive knowledge about her that includes her first name, last name, country of origin, and the whole modeling thing. The movie was pretty ok but not quite what I was hoping for. Today I want to fuck Samantha Jones.
So I was watching this weeks Modern Family cause… I was. It happens. Yo, it’s cold outside! You leave your apartment! Anyway, I was watching and Sofia Vergara just looked fantastic all episode. I mean, she generally looks very good but she just looked especially good. I don’t know why, I can’t point to a thing, she was just having a good week. Which made me think about the fact that I don’t ever post her often enough because I never think of it. Cause I only half watch Modern Family when I put it on and usually that’s before bed and the next day completely out of my brain. Anyway, she is gorgeous and so today I want to fuck Sofia Vergara.
So Katy Perry was at the Snowflake Ball last night. I think. Maybe it’s a Gala? I know it’s a UNICEF thing. It’s not important. I thought she looked nice and honestly I don’t get to post Katy Perry very often anymore because… she doesn’t show up at stuff. Like there is no other explanation, she is just at fewer events and doing fewer photoshoots and I am a slave to the moment. If this blog has taught me anything it’s that I am attracted to whomever our corporate overloads tell me to be attracted to right now. But I am still very attracted to Katy Perry, I just think of it less often. But here she is because she’s hot. Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.
Krysten Ritter was at the Gotham Independent Film Awards and so that is all the excuse I need to post her. I liked her best of what I have seen, though Zoey Deutch also looked nice. Anyway, I have almost nothing to say except Krysten Ritter is a treasure as far as I am concerned. Yay Krysten Ritter. Today I want to fuck Krysten Ritter.
So years ago, when my dear friend and renown Brazilian Lady Killer @lunoboom was trying to sell me on Barbara Palvin, she described her real magic as being that she could look ridiculously sexy and completely innocent and neither seemed foreign at all to her. As a matter of fact I just looked it up because I quoted her in the first post I ever made about Barbara, she said “I think Barbara is beyond gorgeous, what intrigues me the most is how she can be angelic, sweet & cute but then she can also turn into this sexy, hot little devil”. Which is pretty accurate. And I was thinking about that and about my friend the other day when Barbara was at the launch of her new bra? Or a bra designed for her? Whatever it was, she was wearing a shirt that was undone to her bully button, which makes sense, she was showing off the bra, but the entire time was able to look either smolderingly sexy or completely innocent like having her shirt wide open was not only normal but sweet and it never even occurred to her someone might be looking in a less than pure way. It’s kind of impressive. Her face is so expressive and does such a good job of conveying personality that I get why so many people were so taken with her once upon a time and kept asking why I had never posted her so I had to seek out a friend to explain the appeal. I do get the appeal now. Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.
So Emily DiDonato is doing Christmas stuff for Yamamay and I fully approve on account of liking Emily DiDonato and really liking Christmas Lingerie. That second one I don’t know why, I just always have. I don’t have some heartwarming story about childhood. Or even some really scary creepy story about childhood, which is what I imagine it would actually be if I could trace a love of Christmas lingerie to be 5 years old. No, I just like it. I love Christmas. I really don’t know past that. Anyway, she looked great because she always does so today I want to fuck Emily DiDonato.
Happy Thanksgiving guys, I hope you survive the experience. I know family gatherings and for some reason particularly Thanksgiving can be a stressful time for a lot of people. It can be hard to sit through your Uncle explaining why he supports neo-Nazis but isn’t a racist, he just wants a change. Or some guilt trip involving a combination of your hair, the disappointment that is your life, or some other person decision that someone has decided is an attack on them. I get it. When someone is deciding to do what they can to diminish you through passive aggressive advice or using rhetorical questions to point out why you and yours are the worst generation, don’t engage. Use headphones. Not earbuds but headphones. Earbuds are too easy for assholes to ignore, the only real purpose they serve is as a test for who is a big enough dick that he thinks what he has to say to you is more important than your clear wish to not be talking to people right now and let’s be honest, you don’t really need a test for that, that sort of person practically announces it. But headphones, headphones you can just point to them and shake your head. You can’t hear, sorry, and you’re in a big hurry. Once you point to them just do a kick-flip and skate away or complete a rim rattling slam dunk and walk off, never looking back (note, these only work if you are skateboarding or playing basketball at the time. if not think of your own thing. Whatever you do don’t grab your crotch and shout suck it, this is still your family after all, if you wanted a fight you wouldn’t need headphones). So my suggestion is when it gets to be too much don’t crack, just grab your headphones and go for a walk. Chances are no one will even notice you’re gone unless they are looking for an audience for whatever drama they are creating (this might be my family specific, I have no idea). My point is get out and listen to some music, music is a universal salve, it makes every situation better. Maybe start thinking about what to listen to now though, random can be dangerous. Anyway, all of this is why Angel Olsen is here because I think she has my favorite album of the year and there is a good chance she will be making a headphone appearance for me. Either way I am thankful for her album and her songwriting. And I am thankful for you guys. Well most of you. Not you Joey. You know what you did (I don’t know, I just chose a name at random but I kind of like the idea of making some random person paranoid) and you will get yours. Today I want to fuck Angel Olsen.
Jenna Coleman pictures popped up and I basically thought the same thing I always do with her which was, “Wow, she sure is pretty”. I think this on account of Jenna Coleman being quite pretty. She just has one of those faces that that always seems to be my reaction. I am also pretty sure that’s always basically what I post so why don’t I just cut it short. She is so pretty and I like looking at her face so today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.
Sometimes I hear things from people about what posts were popular and I should post that person more or like do I ever not post someone because they didn’t get a lot of notes. No. I am not a person in general who tends to react to the approval or disapproval of others because I am confident I am right and you are wrong. Now, I know that sounds arrogant. And you know, full disclosure I am so, so arrogant. But in this case it’s just true. The blog is called who I want to fuck today. It doesn’t matter at all who you think I should post because you’re fucking wrong if you don’t agree with me. Cause it’s about my libido. So Ellie Rowsell only got a few notes last time (and let’s be honest, it’s @wildflagsure’s fault for not reblogging. I assume because she’s straight now and is willing to let me have dibs on Ellie [side side note, her radio show is today at noon Eastern and if you like Ellie you’ll love this radio show. Find it here]) but I don’t care. Cause here are some cold hard facts for you. She is magnificent. She is beautiful and talented and plays guitar, the sexiest instrument. Way sexier than an oboe. Musicians are fucking hot, guys. Now, I know that sounds like an opinion but you know, you’ve already embarrassed yourself so much by being wrong already, do you really want to correct me? Today I want to fuck Ellie Rowsell.
Who I want to Fuck Today 