It sure has seemed like Demi Lovato wanted my attention lately and far be it from me to say no. By wanted my attention I mean she’s looked good enough to post but just barely lost out to someone else and I am a delusional egomaniac so I of course see it as being all about me. So like, I said, she’s clearly wanted my attention. I am not feeling great at the moment so I am not really going to say much else other than she has looked fantastic. So go her. Today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.
Here is Olivia Munn because the summer is strange and I don’t always need a lot of a reason to post someone during the summer. Just… less of a media onslaught. Or maybe it’s cause I am feeling just a little bit out of it, kinda tired, kinda coming down with something. Anyway, I put her in well, swimwear I guess cause it’s summer. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.
So I spent last night reading an entire YA Star Wars novel because I am a huge dork. I know, I know, I hide it well, you had no idea. I am outing myself. I love Star Wars. Love it. And the book was good, kind of like a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead of the Star Wars universe. Except, you know, with out the existentialism. Or the sort of satire and comedy. Ok, so it was superficially that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead of the Star Wars universe. Anyway, I liked it and I loved the ways it sort of brushed against the characters I loved. One of those was Princess Leia and it was very interesting to see how others in the universe regarded her but maybe the most informative thing about her was how people reacted to Darth Vader. Fear. Like barely able to hold it together fear, entire bodies went cold when he was present. Which makes sense. But remember, Leia didn’t do this. Instead she told him off, claiming only he could be so bold and then telling him he was the one who was going to be in trouble when the Senate found out. A giant slug dude was a creep so she strangled him with a chain. When I tag this and I have to categorize her what do I put? Princess? Diplomat? Politician? General? Rebel? there’s too much and she did most of that before she was 25. It’s amazing. Look, she’s a character I love and part of a thing I love and given what she did to the slug that objectified her I am on thin ice but today I want to fuck Princess Leia.
This week has sucked. This week sucks. Let’s just get through it, it’s almost over. Anyway, I am posting Rihanna because I just wanted to post someone beautiful and have that be it. Rihanna is beautiful. I almost typed we can all agree on that but it isn’t like this is my first day on the internet, I am sure we can’t all agree on that. I am sure someone, somewhere is outraged that I am posting Rihanna. Oh well. I like her on account of my known fetish for beautiful women. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.
So I was just minding my own business this morning when someone sent me a picture of Emily Ratajkowski naked from Harper’s Bazaar. Which I am ok with. My phrasing might have made it sound otherwise. It was at that point I was pretty sure I’d end up posting her today because well, Emily Ratajkowski is hot. And one of the few people on the planet who actually looks better naked than with clothing. Which is really high praise for her because her fashion is so often on point. She just has great fashion taste. Yet looks better naked. It’s an embarrassment of riches thing, like maybe give that fashion sense to someone who needs it. Anyway, here she is, including one of the said shots from that shoot because today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.
So I guess girls throwing out the first pitch is a thing I have now? That seems strange. It’s just that I am posting Aubrey Plaza because she looked adorable throwing out the first pitch and it’s not the first time I have posted someone because they threw out the first pitch at a game somewhere. So I think that officially makes it a thing for me. You learn something disturbing about yourself every day. Anyway, she has a new movie coming out soon, with her best buddy Anna Kendrick and I am really looking forward to it because she is hilarious. I mean, Anna Kendrick is funny too but Aubrey Plaza is really, really funny. And I miss her since Parks and Rec went away. So here she is because of baseball and because today I want to fuck Aubrey Plaza.
So I almost posted Anna Kendrick yesterday despite the stars aligning to tell me to post Mary Elizabeth Winstead. This is because Anna Kendrick keeps showing up at stuff for her new movie and it means I am tempted to post her almost every day. One of the things that tempted me was watching a video of Anna Kendrick interviewing herself. It was pretty funny. She’s been funnier but it was pretty funny. Her hair is what i noticed though, it was all big in a good way. It kind of reminded me of a couple photoshoots she’s done because the whole retro big hair, cats eyes make up throwback retro thing is essentially a photoshoot every cute female celebrity has to do at some point to show her sultry side. It’s maybe not officially a law but it’s close. Then last night I started to see pictures of her for the Edit, and indeed some of them had the kind of big hair but more importantly the whole shoot felt like it was for me. So I knew who I was going to end up posting today at that point. Now it is today and I am still sure i am posting Anna. Because I love her. Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.
I couldn’t sleep last night because my brain hates me. Or because sleep is the cousin of death and I was in a NY state of mind. Whichever. Anyway, it can be hard to fill late night hours but I filled some if it talking with @wildflagsure and then remembered late night talk shows exist. I used to watch a lot of late night in general and Late Night specifically back in the day but somehow that all fell to the wayside. But I tuned in for some Seth Meyers even though he seems like an odd choice for me, he’s older than Jimmy Fallon, isn’t it where you should be throwing a younger guy so he can do something new? I don’t know, I’m old, Conan was my guy. But anyway, Mary Elizabeth Winstead was on and that was two signs I should post her. What was the first sing, well talking to @wildflagsure, which might not seem like a sign to you but only because you have never talked to her. She’s totally bi for Mary Elizabeth Winstead. And who can blame her? Not me. She is gorgeous and charming and talented and last night was gorgeous and charming and I assume talented. She really only sat there and it was a short interview but like… she didn’t fuck up sitting there. It wasn’t a thing that required a lot of talent, so she couldn’t show off. Anyway, I kinda was waiting to see if pictures of her arriving or anything showed up online but they have not so I am just posting her now. Today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Yesterday I said my post was because of @femalecelebrityoftheday and I guess today’s is too, but only because I am a dick who likes taunting people. Liz Gillies is here because she was at the premier of the second season of her show and any excuse to post her is a good excuse in my book. I will not be watching because I have never been a big Dennis Leary fan and I feel like the show indulges all of his worst habits and as a result is just not good. @femalecelebrityoftheday will be watching though and so that’s why this post exists to taunt him. Because I too have gone down the road of watching a show I just really dislike because I like people in it. I am no doing that here which means instead I can just enjoy someone else’s suffering. So enjoy your torture, I will be interested to hear if it was worth it to see 22 minutes of Liz Gillies. I’ve decided pictures are enough for me. Today I want to fuck Elizabeth Gillies.
Here is Aishwarya Rai and I don’t even know why. Like… this is the joy of summer to a degree, with there being just less of a media onslaught my brain can wander. There are big summer movies and so on but they don’t quite dominate the attention the way weekly TV does. Plus fewer awards shows and so on. So I don’t know why I was thinking about Aishwarya Rai except that I was. I remember she came up in conversation with someone, again I can’t remember with whom, about a month or so ago. I think the discussion included the phrase “most beautiful woman in the world” which was less about an opinion and more about there was a point where she was basically declared as such. Like it became her title, you couldn’t read about her without reading, “Aishwarya Rai, The Most Beautiful Woman in the World” or some such thing. Which I could never disagree with because I remember the first time I saw her was way, way back in the day on Yahoo. When Yahoo was my home page and it had news and other nonsense just sitting right there on the screen and there was a picture of Aishwarya Rai. Who was so beautiful I was like, “Who on Earth is that?” I don’t remember much more than that, it was the 90’s. It’s been a long time. But anyway, here she is and I don’t have a lot more to say other than she is gorgeous and today I want to fuck Aishwarya Rai.
Who I want to Fuck Today 