Tag: cartoon

This is one of the hardest posts I’ve ever done. Which sounds like I am about to drop some heavy shit on you but literally it is almost impossible to find pictures of Daphne Blake on the internet that isn’t porn. Which also sounds like the start of some sort one’s ‘edgy’ fan fiction about the fall of the Scooby Gang but is actually the reality of the internet and fictional characters but somehow especially true for Daphne. There is probably a whole lot I could unpack about why she specifically runs into this (and my ideas range from Hanna-Barbera having notoriously terrible animation and art to her original role on the show simply being the pretty girl which in our culture equates to eye candy and rectification) but I don’t think I’ll do that. Cause it sounds like real effort and I am lazy. Besides, this post is about how great Scooby Doo is. I have posted Daphne once before and to be entirely honest almost posted her a few times in the intervening years but gave up each time due to lack of pictures. But I watched Scoobynatural last night before bed. Which if you don’t know is the Scooby Doo and Supernatural cross over. Which kind of makes sense. I had fallen behind on Supernatural (and spend the last two weeks catching up so I could watch this episode because I am a moron) but when I originally watched it it was at the end of the first season. On the internet someone made a comment about how they would watch a Scooby Doo show meant for adults. Someone commented, “Isn’t that what Supernatural already is?” So I immediately looked up the show because you might not know this but I love Scooby Doo. I don’t know why but given my love of horror and so on I feel like there is a through line there to my current interests. I guess some thins are just always there. And like a large portion of my generation apparently, I always though Daphne Blake was really hot. Always. And I feel like some of my other likes as an adult can maybe be traced back that far as well but then it scares me so I won’t pull that thread. My point is, in the episode, which I thought was a lot of fun, Dean is way into Daphne and deeply loves Scooby and the entire game. I related a lot. Plus, Daphne had maybe my favorite moment when the realization that Ghosts are real sends her into an existential crisis about what it means about the afterlife and where she might end up. So why not post her. I mean, I actually found a few pictures this time and it was fun and while we’re at it we did eventually get Scooby Doo for adults in my opinion, it was Mystery Inc. It ruled. Today I want to fuck Daphne Blake.

So yesterday Cracked.com posted a video called the Scientific Reason you want to have sex with Jessica Rabbit.  It wasn’t the greatest cracked video, I do quite like what they do, but it was a subject near and dear to my heart.  And it kind of comes down to she was drawn that way.  It’s kind of why I am posting her.  I shared the link with my friend @whole-lies-and-half-smiles because she, like me, understands that Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is a very good movie, a great example of Film noir while also subverting a lot of the genre.  Now, there are indeed reasons that Jessica Rabbit fires the sexy centers of our brain even though in reality she would be horrifying (as proven by Heidi Klum this Halloween).  I also think the appeal is more than that, there are plenty of “sexy” cartoon characters and while I am sure they all have people who like them Jessica Rabbit has a ridiculous amount of staying power.  She was in one movie and a couple of shorts 25 years ago and yet is very popular.  Popular to the degree that it is very hard to find actual pictures of her instead of fan made porn.   I mean, make your porn but I also follow things like Supergirl tag and it’s not an issue there.  I think the Femme Fatale, as an archetype is something appealing and maybe under served in modern media but she also is a twist on that because she isn’t really the classic Femme Fatale.  See, the classic Femme Fatale is usually the wrong woman.  Her purpose is to lead the male lead into dangerous situations.  She is temptation given form and she is a bad idea.  Believe me, I know how attractive a bad idea can be, so I know why that has always resonated.  That is how Jessica Rabbit is portrayed in the movie but it’s a bait and switch.  She isn’t the wrong girl and she isn’t really leading Eddie down the wrong path.  She is actually helping him and she saves him.  She is actually the good girl, who usually serves as the counter to the Femme Fatale and the one point of light in Noir.  Which I think is why she appeals so much.  Yes, she is drawn to look bad and fire that part of our brain but it is a movie I think most people saw as kids, so she is safe, too, because she actually is the girl you bring home to mom.  She’s coded both ways.  She is the whore and the Madonna wrapped into one, which in the end means Jessica Rabbit lets you have your cake and eat it, too.  Sometimes I over think things like cartoons.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Rabbit.

So I woke up at 3 AM this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep.  So what do you do at 3 AM?  The answer is not a whole lot, there just isn’t a lot to do at 3 AM.  At least not from this end, if you’re still up there can be some fun to be had, if you’re getting up?  Less so.  So I made some hot chocolate and watched Frozen.  I couldn’t begin to tell you why these were the choices I made but they were the choices I made.  I of course have seen Frozen before because everyone in the world kind of insisted I watch Frozen when it came out.  It was quite good, I liked it a lot, and there is a lot to distinguish it from other Disney movies, even if it isn’t the first to do certain things I thought it did an excellent job of marrying a lot of elements that are uncommon in Disney movies.  I don’t really watch animated films with an eye to which girl is the hot one usually but I kind of did with Frozen because one of the things I noted about it was that every girl I knew who saw it (and was not a child I should stress, this was an adult reaction, not a 3 year old reaction) told me that Elsa was extremely sexy.  Which is odd.  I mean, I remember being like 11 years old and getting some funny feelings about Ariel but I am not sure how common this is and it isn’t like I watch Toy Story as an adult and start elbowing friends going, “Huh, huh?  Check out her.  Am I right?” But this was the near universal thing I heard about Elsa.  So I sat down and watched it and was like, “I dunno, I kind of like Anna better”.  This time though I felt like I got the Elsa thing more.  She stood out.  I am trying to put together why.  She is not the hero of the piece but she does seem to have a good deal of Agency by the end, I think people respond to that.  Especially because she starts with so little, just a girl hiding and trying to make other people happy.  I think people respond strongly to someone standing up and telling the world to go fuck itself, which is basically what she does in let It Go, which everyone in the wold loves.  But there is also a Rappacini’s daughter thing going on with her, we are a species of petulant children who definitely want what we can’t have.  So a girl we can’t touch?  Holy shit yes!  I mean, I have posted Rogue before.  But it gives some vulnerability, which I think is what our brains are really after, strength with vulnerability because being petulant children we are all about ourselves, so for someone to be truly attractive we also need to have some level of self insertion.  That’s not a sex joke but someone who is perfect isn’t appealing because how do we fit into their lives?  We need someone who is strong but, you know, if we were there, we could help them with that one little thing, that loneliness.  I think this is what people’s brains did without thinking about it during Frozen.  Or it could be the dress she made out of ice.  That’s a pretty fucking awesome dress. Anyway, rue to admit it as I am in the middle of the night, today I want to fuck Queen Elsa.

Bob Hoskins died yesterday which is sad because death is always sad, at least a little bit.  But for me it was sad because I do consider Who Framed Roger Rabbit to be a great movie and one that holds a special place in my heart.  So I watched it again last night.  Still awesome.  I still find Jessica Rabbit to be both attractive and fascinating as a character.  I could get into all of that and how I love the dichotomy of being drawn bad but not being bad and so on.  Free will versus destiny, image versus reality and so on.  But I won’t, I will just say if you haven’t seen this moving in a long time you should rewatch it because it is genuinely good and adheres to the beats of a noir quite well.  And Jessica Rabbit is hot.  And today I want to fuck Jessica Rabbit.

I am going to just go ahead and start off by saying this is the strangest pick I have ever made.  I can’t imagine one stranger.  It is odd to sexualize cartoon characters but sometimes it happens.  It feels slightly wrong to do so to current cartoon characters because… they aren’t there for me, except Adventure Time is clearly in the game or trying to appeal to adults as well as kids.  And it is not a show with anything resembling realistic looking characters, they are purposefully simple and crudely drawn. Yet here is Princess Bubblegum because… I have thought about posting her a million times before and end up giving up in my picture search as my brain moves on.  It is hard to find good pictures to post of a character whose face is really just like two dots and a line.  Yes the character herself is so complex.  I think I am attracted to the subversion of the princess archetype. I have posted before about something in the collective subconscious that draws us to princesses.  And I stand but that but at the same time PB is not really anything like that, she is, except for the fact that she might be evil, or at least morally flexible as she considers knowledge more important than humanity, really more likely to be the rescuer than the rescued.  She is a scientist in a fantasy setting full of princesses and magical candy people.  She is smart, competent, and mature.  And since very early on I have found myself oddly attracted to her.  I don’t have an explanation for it.  I could go into a lot of stuff about her character, even if it is a feminist representation or not, how it is unique but honestly it would all feel a little like horse shit to me because the truth is… I just find her appealing and I don’t know why.  I mean this whole blog is an exercise in intellectualizing lust and trying to over think things but some things even I can’t convince myself of.  All I really know is today I want to fuck Princess Bubblegum.

I get interesting reactions when I post cartoon characters. Some people seem to love it.  Some people give me crap (I have gotten some ‘you need to get laid’ comments in response to posting fictional characters).  It all strikes me as silly because Jessica Rabbit or Jessica Chastain, my chances of bedding either redhead is realistically about the same.  Of course, Jessica Rabbit is unique anyway, I didn’t get crap when I posted her before.  I guess because she’s the exception, everyone gets being attracted to her?  It makes sense, she was designed to be a cartoonish embodiment of sex appeal.  Cartoons take things and exaggerate them past the point of reality but that can make them feel even more real.  Inaccuracies are forgiven and instead we focus on what the artist wants us to focus on.  Which means Jessica Rabbit possesses a level of sex appeal that goes beyond what a person should.  Or it could just be that the femme fatale archetype still works, even in cartoon form.  I am not sure, people like her.  I get it.  She’s a fascinating character in what is just an excellent movie.  I watched it last night.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Rabbit.

If you like cartoons (man I hope you do for your sake, there is something sad about growing up so much that you can’t even like a cartoon) and you have not seen Avatar then you really need to.  It’s pretty epically great.  I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.  Then came Legend of Korra, which is also pretty great but different.  But it is currently on and I dig it.  One of the things I dig most is the lead character, who can be frustratingly bullheaded and I know some people are annoyed by her but I enjoy an actualized female lead who is a total ass kicker but has her flaws.  Flaws that the show doesn’t cover up and try to hide.  Like that was my issue with late season Buffy, how often Buffy was clearly wrong and then the show used narrative moon man logic to make her right.  She was still a shitty friend in season 7 whatever you had uber vamps do.  But that’s not what this is about.  I like Korra a lot.  One of the things I really liked was in season one when a guy was telling her he liked her, the words he used, “Are you kidding me? You’re the smartest, funniest, toughest, buffest, talentedest, incrediblest girl in the world!” It stood out because pretty wasn’t the first word.  It actually wasn’t a word at all.  There is a joke Disney thing that pops up on tumblr sometimes where the prince tells the princess how pretty she is and she says, “And what else” and he’s stumped.  The fact that in this show someone would see her other qualities as the main part of her appeal goes a long way to showing why the character is so appealing.  She’s pretty because she’s on TV and a cartoon, there was no chance she was going to be drawn ugly, but what makes her appealing, and I feel this stands out with cartoons more than with reality, is her actual personality traits.  The thing where she has deep reserves of resolve and that even when she messes up she picks herself back up and that deep down she will always do what is right.  Anyway, the show is awesome, she is awesome, you should watch it if you don’t But you should start with Avatar: The Last Air bender.  Today I want to fuck Avatar Korra.

Ok, for real I have gone to make this entry probably like 4-5 times since this blog started but looking for pictures proved amazingly fruitless and eventually I find myself going, “Fuck Daphne Blake!"  and not in the good way.  I get frustrated and move on to something else and then someone else. Like, I know how the internet works, this isn’t my first rodeo but she is easily the most difficult person to find clothed pictures of ever.  And I have posted two porn stars.  And quite a few models who take off a lot of clothing.  But Daphne Blake… like I swear Cartoon Network’s own site has her at least in moderate to heavy bondage, god help you with a Google search. Now, look, I am not here to "come down on you” about your naked cartoon pictures, that’s “not my bag” man.  I’m using quotes because I know I sound “really old” and “out of touch” and “alarmingly prudish for someone with the word fuck in the name of my blog” but really I am worried about what it says about my generation.  Now, Scooby Doo has become a bit evergreen but it was kids of my age and slightly older for whom those original shows were made.  We’re the one who grew up on the hour long laugh tracked mysteries.  We are the ones who all had a crush on Daphne Blake.  So I assume it’s us who  are drawing things that… well, I always liked her dress and she may be the reason I like girls in tights so much today, I was 3, I knew she was gorgeous, she always had on pink tights, is it so much to ask to find a picture of her in her dress?  All I’m saying.  Perv out but… throw us more subtle pervs a bone, right?  Anyway, childhood crush and it was probably my favorite cartoon as a kid, so today I want to fuck Daphne Blake.

Just the other night I was talking about Who Framed Roger Rabbit and how brilliant it is with one of my favorite tumblr friends. The movie is great and one of the more interesting characters to me is Jessica Rabbit.  I say this because she has continued on as sort of short hand for a type of sexuality.  Hell, looking for pictures of her you have no idea how hard it is to actually find pictures of her where she has clothes, which strikes me as all kind of silly.  Not because I think there is anything wrong with wanting to see whoever naked, embrace that, look at naked things, but it seems kind of pointless.  It transfers sultry and sexy to something far less complicated and interesting.  All of it kind of seems to miss the point of the character though, who in my searching seems to have developed a reputation as a slut or a temptress which ignores what made her character so great at the time.  She was a spin on the classic Femme Fetale, she certainly had all the elements and looked like bad news but in the end she wasn’t.  She was a good girl, she was loyal to her husband, she loved him, and she was doing what she could to save the day.  She was never bad.  She was just drawn that way.  I find the fact that that has been lost and we only remember how she was drawn to be an interesting statement on how our minds work. She’s a cartoon, so of course things will always be exaggerated so we project our own experiences onto her, that’s how cartoons work anyway, you fill in a lot of the gaps. It is interesting just how we’ve filled them in.  Of course, good girl and working on the side of angels or not she has appeared here today, so I am just as guilty.  I can’t help the way she’s drawn, either.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Rabbit.