Tag: Kaetlyn Osmond

It was basically an inevitability I was posting Kaetlyn Osmond again today. I knew going into today with the Women’s Free Skate yesterday that she was very likely to show up. In some ways I am sorry I have to post her again because there are so many talented athletes I just wanted to mention. Even just in figure skating. Gabby Daleman is worth noting just for her otherworldly beauty (and the way my heart broke for her last night 3 separate times and then a fourth when I saw the way her face looked leaving the ice). Karen Chen is notable strictly because she might have the best on ice attire I have ever seen. Seriously, google it or, I guess just ask me in a message, I’ll share, it’s strikingly beautiful and creative and perfect. Ivett Toth deserves to be mentioned just for her short program the other night which I think charmed basically half the world with how amazing it was to see someone skate in a leather jacket to AC/DC. And really everyone because they are all so skilled. I have said before that making the Olympics is impressive enough and it is. So many of these young women just skated their hearts out and they fall and it breaks my heart and it must be even harder their but they get up and keep going and their faces don’t show a hint of pain until it’s over. When I was younger I often discounted figure skating as most did as frivolous or silly or not a real sport and for that I owe them and generations of figure skaters before an apology. I think we all know why the most popular winter sport that draws more female viewers than male is immediately discredited in the minds of many sports fans. My point is, I have all of that going into this and lots I wanted to say but Kaetlyn was always going to be posted because I had to. As remarkable as everyone else is, as impressive as it is, she is simply that much more remarkable. I don’t know why she stood out to me 4 years ago in Sochi but she did. She is beautiful yes. God is she beautiful but there is beauty in surplus at these games and still something about how she skates speaks to me. I am not an expert. Far from it. Judges ding things and all I can think is, “Looked pretty fucking sweet to me you picky assholes”. So I can’t claim she is better than the Russians but I like her and how she skates a great deal more. There is just a feel to it. It feels right. Theirs didn’t speak to me in the same way. Every time she skates I am enraptured. It’s why I took the time to make a bunch of gifs, I think you have to see her in motion, and even my shitty gifs hold at least a tiny bit of the joy of watching her. So yeah, as I said earlier she is beautiful, and it’s part of why she’s here but there is more than that. The Olympics are almost over, almost everything is done and figure skating is completely over. I have watched more figure skating this year than probably any other Olympics before, at least since I was a kid and didn’t control the remote. She was my favorite part of it. Today I want to fuck Kaetlyn Osmond.

I was saddened heading into this Olympics by some early retirements of athletes I liked last time out. Three I posted even. But, you know who is back? Kaetlyn Osmond. And thank god because the world is richer for getting to see her. Four years ago (or technically 3 years ago, 11 months, and 17 days ago) when I posted Kaetlyn I was taken by her beauty and I said figure skaters dress like fairy princesses. I realized rereading that today that perhaps people might think that’s an insult. I am here to set you straight, there is nothing insulting about looking like a fairy princess. We should all be so god damned lucky. Look, the simple truth is that I have a love hate relationship with figure skating. I love the beauty and athleticism, I tend to hate the judging. Which yes, has gotten better and technically they no longer score you on how much of a fairy princess you look like and if you have fairy princess blood in your family or not but… well, I still think it’s their. But why I hate how a girl looking coming into play in if she gets a medal or lot I don’t hold it against the costumes. Which are frankly amazing. I love the chance for personal expression that most sports don’t allow. Would I like to see what happened if LeBron James designed his own uniform and it was different every few days? Fuck yeah I would! But it would never happen. It happens here and I can’t hold it against the pretty, sparkly costumes that they might influence a judge. And that personal expression is part of what I like about Kaetlyn and why I am actually looking forward to watching figure skating this year. She was accused last time of being “too adult” which is still beyond stupid. She was an adult, deal with it. Also, you know, I know Tinkerbell is a huge property for Disney but I don’t think it’s because it’s something the parents are buying for after they put the kids to bed. Anyway, she is sexy, so I think that is what people are sensing. There is a bit of that in the costumes (I loved her gloves. Why? I dunno, I just really dug them). I mean, they’re very much not sexual costumes but she herself is just kind of sexy, and her personality comes through. And man I like her a lot guys. She is one of those special ones who is just gorgeous. So I am posting her even though it’s just team skate so far and her individual stuff won’t be until the end of the week, I am glad for the excuse to post her. Today I want to fuck Kaetlyn Osmond.

I was watching Figure Skating because… it was on and watching the Olympics appears to just be a thing I do now, and there was a comment that Kaetlyn Osmond was criticized that her routine “too adult for someone her age”.  First of all, it was hilarious because figure skating basically consists of women and men dressing up in pretty sparkly outfits as magical fairy ice princesses and princes and prancing around on the ice for 5 minutes.  Physically impressive? Yes.  Often Beautiful? Yes.  Steeped in adulthood?  No, not really, I used to put on socks and do the same thing on my grandma’s hardwood floors until I would get caught, sat down, and told the story of how she knew small children in India who were killed by a splinter in the foot so stop that nonsense.  My point is, I was not told to stop because I was being too adult for a 5 year old.  So that was my first thought. My second thought was, “Oh shit, am I being super creepy for just a second ago thinking this girl was really pretty?"  Good news, she’s 18 so it turns out I was just being regularly creepy.  Thank god.  Apparently this is an issue for Kaetlyn Osmond as people question if her routines are too risque and the Globe and Mail got heavily criticized for putting sexy pictures of her ice skating on their front page when she was just 17.  I dunno, didn’t look like that sexy a picture to me, I kind of feel like that sort of hand wringing has a little bit more to do with, "I think this girl is attractive and it scares me” than anything else.  But I don’t judge and I can’t actually read minds so I will avoid casting dispersions. I am just glad she is 18 so I am just regular creepy and can come here and admit that she is very pretty and I thought her sparkly magical fairy ice princess outfit was very pretty, too.  And she skated well in what I saw.  So today I want to fuck Kaetlyn Osmond.