I was watching Figure Skating because… it was on and watching the Olympics appears to just be a thing I do now, and there was a comment that Kaetlyn Osmond was criticized that her routine “too adult for someone her age”.  First of all, it was hilarious because figure skating basically consists of women and men dressing up in pretty sparkly outfits as magical fairy ice princesses and princes and prancing around on the ice for 5 minutes.  Physically impressive? Yes.  Often Beautiful? Yes.  Steeped in adulthood?  No, not really, I used to put on socks and do the same thing on my grandma’s hardwood floors until I would get caught, sat down, and told the story of how she knew small children in India who were killed by a splinter in the foot so stop that nonsense.  My point is, I was not told to stop because I was being too adult for a 5 year old.  So that was my first thought. My second thought was, “Oh shit, am I being super creepy for just a second ago thinking this girl was really pretty?"  Good news, she’s 18 so it turns out I was just being regularly creepy.  Thank god.  Apparently this is an issue for Kaetlyn Osmond as people question if her routines are too risque and the Globe and Mail got heavily criticized for putting sexy pictures of her ice skating on their front page when she was just 17.  I dunno, didn’t look like that sexy a picture to me, I kind of feel like that sort of hand wringing has a little bit more to do with, "I think this girl is attractive and it scares me” than anything else.  But I don’t judge and I can’t actually read minds so I will avoid casting dispersions. I am just glad she is 18 so I am just regular creepy and can come here and admit that she is very pretty and I thought her sparkly magical fairy ice princess outfit was very pretty, too.  And she skated well in what I saw.  So today I want to fuck Kaetlyn Osmond.