Category: Uncategorized

When I think about Dove Cameron I think of two things people have said about her. First is @horror-hotties who once told me that Dove Cameron looked like a science experiment to bring a really pretty doll to life. Then she added that was a good thing. And my friend @thunderstormofoblivion who once said she Dove Cameron looks like the animated version of an evil Scarlett Johnasson. I think I can see how both of these could be seen as insults but I don’t think they were. They both tap into a sense of unreality to how she looks but it’s not an accusation, it’s more a commentary on both how pretty she is and the sort of general feel about her. I have long known who Dove Cameron is in the vague sense of somehow through osmosis I know the names of many, many Disney stars and can usually get the face to match the name. Though also the tend to blur together. And while Dove Cameron is pretty when I look at pictures of her at say 19, she also is just another young blonde actress (side note, young blonde actress is so close to a Velvet Underground song that my brain almost forces me to sing it as I type it. I would ask if anyone else has that problem but I am 99% sure I am the only weirdo with that issue). What she looks like now, to me at least, is a woman who has figured out her look and style. I have seen it happen a lot with alt models and stuff over the years (go look at Mosh when she was 19. She was very pretty but also very much like a lot of alt models. Now Mosh is singularly Mosh). Which is maybe why she stood out in Agents of Shield and continues to now. Before she looked like a Disney star. Now she looks like Dove Cameron. Dove Cameron who has a look that apparently makes people think of various pieces of art because it’s somewhat otherworldly. That’s impressive. I like her look, too. The Doll comment feels like a better compliment but on the other hand I have posted Jessica Rabbit. I have never posted Barbie. So I think both compliments have merit. Today I want to fuck Dove Cameron.

I almost feel like I am being lazy with this post. My buddy @femalecelebrityoftheday posted Milana… god, yesterday maybe? A week ago? Boy, it all blurs together. It feels very recently but maybe it wasn’t? If only there were some simple way to check. Alas, there isn’t. I guess we’ll just never know and I’ll have to accept that. Anyway, he posted her and I had seen some pictures of her at Comic Con and they were delightful and all but what I hadn’t seen was the pink lining of the dress she wore to the EW Party. I had pictures of said dress but none showed the lining. The lining is amazing. The dress is just great. It took some serious digging to find pictures of it that showed the lining. How did he find them? Again, it’s a mystery. What, am I supposed to talk to another human being? Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Anyway, she was great at comic con because she is always hilarious and charming but I appreciate people who indulge in the fun like she did. Her Velma was great and people who know me know that Scooby Doo holds a place very near my heart. So I am posting her like a week late because hey, Comic Con was fun I guess but also that one dress. It’s lovely. Today I want to fuck Milana Vayntrub.

Sophie Turner appeared in a magazine I had never heard of called 1883 and she looked really good. Sometimes I wonder what all these magazines I have never heard of are because I keep hearing print is dead. Maybe they are digital magazines but if so it seems even less likely they’d survive. Are people really buying digital magazines? Do these things survive just on huge price tags and celebrity name recognition? I have no clue but I probably shouldn’t poke too many holes in their financial model because every time there is some unknown magazine with a new photoshoot of someone it is fantastic. This one was great. It gets my approval. Today I want to fuck Sophie Turner.

Charli XCX is a substantial talent and I happen to love her work. I have gone into that a lot here and it’s one of those things where either you agree with me or you don’t. It’s not really of much concern to me anymore. I just felt like I should point it out because I am not posting her for any particular reason and it can feel boring to just go, here she is, she’s hot, thanks. Like I should point out that she is not just hot but also very talented. So that’s about it really. Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

Hayley Atwell is apparently blonde now and that’s jarring. I would provide photographic evidence but there frankly isn’t any decent photographic evidence at the moment, just some garbage pictures of her arriving at Good Morning America. That said, it was jarring because for some reason I didn’t expect it. I am not sure why. It isn’t like Hayley Atwell runs major life changes by me. Or that anyone but me would consider a change in hair color as a major life change. Still, it was shocking at when I first saw the thumbnails I was like, “That’s some blonde woman, they mislabeled this”. Boy was I in for a surprise. But I am posting her cause she was wearing this fantastic red dress. And I am not opposed to a blonde Hayley Atwell so much as I am surprised. Change is scary. Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

I am posting Anastasia Scheglova cause she’s easy. To post I mean. I have no knowledge otherwise. Her name is hard to spell, details about her are hard to come by, I used to make jokes about her being a Russian spy but those were largely funny because they were based in 30 year old cold war paranoia and felt totally ridiculous but suddenly they aren’t as funny anymore because the world got into a time machine a couple of years ago and the time line is all fucked up. Anyway, my point is she is easy to actually post because pictures are bountiful. I could almost throw a dart at a list of pictures and post her. Almost. I can’t because there are nudes but also it turns out throwing darts at a computer monitor at best ruins the monitor. It in no way posts said pictures on tumblr. One day though, that’s the dream. Anyway, here she is because shes’ beautiful. Today I want to fuck Anastasia Scheglova.

Kristen Bell was at the premier of whatever Teen Titans Go movie thing is happening. I am not informed about this at all because I am not someone who ever enjoyed Teen Titans Go. It wasn’t for me. Kristen Bell is for me though and she wore a sparkly sorta tux dress thing and boy it is great. Pseudo Tuxes and actual tuxes and so on tend to be great looks for women. I always want to promote this kind of thing. Plus it’s Kristen Bell, who if you don’t know, is my favorite. So win win for me. Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

Sometimes when I post it can be hard to do someone justice. The thoughts are there but the words won’t translate them and I feel like perhaps I have done a disservice. I am posting Aly Raisman again cause I was thinking about her again. In part I almost felt cheated we didn’t get to sneak in more photoshoot pictures last time, as nice as it was to do the red carpet, but mainly I was thinking about the strange nature of fame and how we can confuse it with importance if we aren’t careful. Aly Raisman is a hero. I am sure someone on the internet will take issue with that sort of statement but that someone is probably either ill informed and has no idea why I would say that or just a real piece of shit. Either way I don’t have much time for them, I’m too tired and cranky to waste my time. She is a hero. Even if she hadn’t stood up to her abuser and made it her mission to try and make the world a better place as a result she is well worth our respect just because she seems to be a combination of dedicated, hard working, and a deeply good person. I am on record saying an Olympic Gymnast is someone who as a little girl worked harder than most of us do as adults. That alone is the sort of thing we should look up to. On top of that she is gracious in victory and defeat. And yes, she is a hero. So it feels like one of the strange quirks of the world that when she is at an event for like, MTV or something, she is one of the least famous people there. And that can be confused for importance but it shouldn’t be. I should have better thoughts on this but sometimes they don’t come. I guess what I am posting Aly Raisman because she is important. Like I said the other day for Jessie Diggins, I am proud she represents me as American. Today I want to fuck Aly Raisman.

So I expected to post someone, anyone really, at comic con today because I am an easily influenced idiot and I knew that’s where all the pictures are coming from. Instead I am posting Alex Morgan because I am an easily influenced idiot and she was at the Kid’s Choice Sports Awards apparently. I mocked the ESPYs a little but I have no problem with a Kid’s Choice anything because ranking and choosing favorites is an important part of being a kid and constructing self identity. I guess I am giving kids way more leeway. If they want to vote on a favorite athlete then they should because that sort of thing matters a lot to a kid. And for me it’s nice because any excuse to get to see Alex Morgan. While she looks really good in a soccer kit, there isn’t a ton of variety there, so something red carpet now and then is nice to have. So I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Alex Morgan.

Comic-Con is in full swing today so how about some Olivia Munn for everyone? Sounds good to me. Here is Olivia Munn who is there to promote the new Predator stuff. If I am being honest I couldn’t care less about any of that. Maybe it will be great but there some franchises that have hung around despite never really paying off. Predator, Alien, Terminaor; these are franchise that seem to rest everything on the fact that they made a good movie (or two in the case of Alien) 30+ years ago and aren’t you excited for me. The answer in my case is usually no. But I don’t begrudge anyone else who is. I get it, sometimes a concept clicks with you and it doesn’t matter how off the the execution is. So I don’t really care but suppose I will see it if I hear it is awesome. I am glad it has Olivia Munn though cause hey, look, it’s Olivia Munn. Her showing up and talking and being funny and maybe a little mean and always beautiful never sucks. So I’ll take it. Today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.