Category: Uncategorized

So Kristen Bell was on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and I recorded it and am just now getting around to watching it because I am super cool and I have to watch something at lunch and for a second can I just say the future is awesome in some ways.  I am watching something I recorded on my TV on my phone?  People complain about flying cars but seriously, we aren’t amazed enough by our phones.  Anyway, I have so moved past late night TV because it just doesn’t compel me anymore and I don’t know why.  But hey, Kristen Bell.  I don’t need a lot of reasons to watch Kristen Bell be charming for 10 minutes.  Which I have now watched.  So here are pictures of her because I adore Kristen Bell.  And as my really old school followers know, one day I will have her babies.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

Hope everyone is ok with Emily Ratajkowski in bathing suits cause that’s what you’re getting today.  Some pictures of her modeling for… someone popped up. Sorry, the clothing line has left my brain but she was showing off their swimsuits.  It doesn’t take a lot for me to post Emily Ratajkowski and I immediately became jealous because that looks like a nice pool in the background.  Which I thought about for a while and if there is a flaw in urban living it’s the decided lack of pools.  At least for people like me.  I am sure there must be like… public pools or something but I sure as hell have no idea where they are.  Besides, I think anyone who knows me knows I’m a little above mixing with the hoi polloi like that.  Obviously I need a private pool.  With Emily Ratajkowski.  That’s the dream right now.  Mainly the pool part.  But she’d be welcome.  Because I’m kind and willing to allow her access to said pool.  I know, I’m basically a hero.  It’s the burden I carry.  I’m just that nice, I’d let super models hang out with me at some fabulous pool.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

So sometimes the issue with Summer is that there is less TV and fewer events and just… there isn’t as much to make me go, “Oh wow, I have to post her”.  It means some days I just really don’t have a lot influencing me.  Which can be good but it also can mean very few new pictures and not a lot to make me come here and post.  Like last night I didn’t watch TV at all.  I read a book, like some sort of loser.  So today I was wondering who on Earth I would post.  I don’t know why I was worried because Natalie Dormer did a photoshoot for Vanity Fair and the second I saw it I knew who I was posting.  Because it could have been any day of the year and she would have been posted.  Natalie Dormer is just sexy as fuck and she looked sexy as fuck in this shoot.  So that was easy.  Thanks Vanity Fair.  Seriously though, there are few people who drip desirability like Natalie Dormer.  She jsut has that extra something about her.  And it reminds me, I have a copy of that movie about the Suicide Woods somewhere around here.  I should watch that.  I mean, I know it’s horrible but I have watched horrible movies without Natalie Dormer in them, if I go watch one with her in it it has to be a better right?  I mean, she must give that half smirk at least once.  That’s worth watching a bad movie for.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

So lots of exciting Star Wars news this weekend if you’re a huge fucking nerd.  I actually have been rewatching the movies over the past week or so and finished up the Force Awakens last night so it’s coincidence that it’s at the same time we find out that Grand Admiral Thrawn will be canon again and so on. It all does have me feeling like I am 10 again.  In that I want to talk about Star Wars and like, there is no one around who wants to talk about Star Wars. Like most of yesterday was me trying to engage friends and no one caring.  Anyway, it makes me think about how lucky we are to have people like Daisy Ridley, who is not only fantastic as Rey but also great at engaging about Star Wars.  Her and John Boyega both.  It’s nice cause these are the one pop culture thing that can kind of give me chills when I hear the openings of the theme.  I know that’s nostalgia.  I am fine with it.  I am just glad it’s out there, we all need a thing like that sometimes.  And man it’s easy to crush on Daisy Ridley.  Which is why she’s here.  Because I do.  Today I want to fuck Daisy Ridley.

I watched Everybody Wants Some last night and I quite enjoyed it.  A friend asked me what made it any different than some other teen coming of age story and I said, “Well, it’s Richard Linklater”.  Which is like, the best I can say.  Besides the fact that it isn’t a coming of age story at all.  I should have mentioned that.  I really liked the movie though because Linklater is very good at coming up with subtle movies full of human beings that you don’t mind spending time with.  The movie was an inversion of Dazed and Confused and instead of the end it’s the beginning, about the first 80 hours of college and how you have to put yourself out there when you don’t actually know anyone yet.  I liked it.  I also liked Zoey Deutch.  She is one of those people who I know her name, it feels like I have always known her name though that seems highly unlikely.  But I knew the name and yet I couldn’t have picked her out of a line up.  I double checked and indeed I have seen absolutely nothing she has been in.  Not a thing.  But I liked her in this.  It is probably helped by the fact that she is really pretty and this movie was full of likable people.  Her character was likable and sweet and so she became likable.  Also, she turns out to be really pretty.  Maybe that’s why I kept hearing about her.  Today I want to fuck Zoey Deutch

So I guess I Googled Ariel Winter for some reason at some point?  Maybe the last time I posted her?  I just know my phone thinks I really want to know every new controversy about Ariel Winter.  And by controversy I mean every time some pearl clutching moralist gets his panties in a bunch online.  It seems like this is a thing she faces a lot because Google tells me all the time that people are harassing Ariel Winter online because they feel she showed too much skin on her instagram.  And they have a point.  She’s been doing this for a long time.  Like when she was 14 and creepy dudes on the internet would get turned on looking at her and feel the need to tell her what a horrible person she was for them looking at her.  Dick move on her part, making those creepy dudes be creepy dudes.  And now here she is, on instagram, forcing them to follow her and making them look at her wearing clothing.  Dick move.  These poor, poor innocent dudes, who just want to uh… go to church and build houses for the poor are instead trapped in this terrible web by a crafty teenage girl and her ability to uh.. have been born with big breast.  That’s about it.  And there is a whole extra cultural bias there where if a girl has big breast she’s automatically a slut or a tease, you know, unless she covers them up, at which point she’s a prude.  It’s almost like for women you can’t win sometimes.  Almost, but i know that’s not true because dudes online keep talking about how the world has been taken over by women cause you know, there is like, a single fucking movie out with girls in the main roles.  Which is exactly the kind of world we’d live in if the Nazi’s had won.  And Hitler was a girl.  Exactly like that.  Anyway, Ariel Winter has come up a lot and sometimes I check to see what she has worn that has caused such a tizzy.  I think she looked quite lovely at her graduation. I think the outfit she wore of that movie is lame but it’s a Bert Reynolds movie and it isn’t 1976 so you know, probably not the worst thing about the movie. Anyway, I think she has looked nice so here are some pictures of her looking nice.  I do apologize in advance to all the poor, poor oppressed dudes out there that this will oppress.  I can’t help it, I’m the internet’s greatest monster and you’re right to hate me for forcing this on you.  Today I want to fuck Ariel Winter.

So Winona Ryder is playing the Mom on Stranger Things, which made me feel pretty old because I was like, “Winona Ryder as a mom!?!?”  because she is cute girl from my generation.  But you know, I was like, well, yeah, that checks out.  I’m old.  She’s even older.  We’re old people now.  It just feels weird to see someone who in a lot of ways was a symbol of disaffected youth playing a distraught mother.  And really this post is a lot about Stranger Things because I watched the first episode and wow I love it so far.  I have never posted Winona Ryder before because it has never felt right, she isn’t really mine.  She belongs to my generation but she is one of those people some people feel so intensely for and I did not.  I like her.  I just think I was always a little put off by how many people I knew who seemed to lust after her because she felt less obvious to lust after.  Like, it was an intellectual lust.  Which is stupid for lots of reasons, because if you’re just doing something to seem a certain way you’re still just following a crowd.  And if I am reacting to it I am still just basing my reactions on the reactions of others.  And finally, who the fuck am I to criticizing over intellectualizing lust.  Look at me.  Look at what I do here.  But, since so many people intensely care about her she’s the sort of person I never though I’d post because it would make me feel like a poser.  Besides, this isn’t 1993, she doesn’t really come up that often in things I watch.  She is in this though and so far I have found her performance pretty affecting so far.  I find as I get older missing kids and grieving parents hit me a lot harder than they did once upon a time.  I guess I have always liked horror but our fears mutate as we get older.  The giant monster is less scary than the realization that you can’t protect the vulnerable people in your life.  It’s good though, I recommend it.  And I like Winona Ryder in it as well.  Today I want to fuck Winona Ryder.

Here is Doutzen Kroes because… I don’t know really.  She keeps popping into my head.  She has for a couple of days.  I can’t really point to a specific reason why though.  She just has.  I am not going to argue though, I happen to like her.  That’s really all there is to say about it.  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

So Blake Lively is back promoting another movie and I’ll mainly gloss over that because the less said about Woody Allen the better (I mean, I thought he was a creep when he was just banging his daughter, when it turns out he’s a child molester though? Wow).  So instead what I will talk about is Blake Lively’s amazing ability to dress while pregnant.  I don’t mean like actually physically getting dressed, though I’d imagine that’s a chose but it’s a chore every pregnant woman manages to do.  No, I mean her fashion sense while pregnant. I seriously think she might have the best maternity clothes ever.  It’s astounding to me the variety of things she wears and how good she looks.  Like, it puts some people to shame who aren’t pregnant.  And like. admittedly I’m not an expert but it seems likely that the options you have while pregnant are much more limited than clothing options while not pregnant.  She has looked great.  I love it.  Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

I like Alicia Vikander thus here is some Alicia Vikander.  Pretty simple.  Also, not a lot of competition going on at the moment.  She is promoting the new Bourne movie and so she keeps popping up and honestly almost no one else does.  I thought I might end up posting someone from VH1’s Hip Hop thing last night but I forgot of course it was a hip hop thing, pictures are almost impossible to find of it.  Weird, how that works, internet and mainstream press.  Anyway, I am cranky cause I’m sick so I won’t go down that road, instead I will just say I chose the last picture specifically so you could see Alicia’s boots because if I put up a picture of that outfit and cut off the boots like I originally was about to do I would have made some people cry.  They are very nice boots.  Today I want to fuck Alicia Vikander.