So exciting news for me and no one else on Earth most likely, Hammer has an official tumblr @hammerofficial.  I was very excited when I found out and the problem with exciting news like this is it’s most fun shared but there was no one to share with.  So I decided to tell my dear friend Izzy (@lunoboom) because I knew she’s kind of humor me and also because I told her, “I know you also like old ladies”.  Which, I will admit, once I had typed I realized I phrased it poorly.  I meant women from past eras.  Anyway, we talked about it this morning and I showed her Valerie Leon among others and Izzy decided to use science to back up my notions that she is hot. Her scientific conclusion was, “Damn”.  So it’s agreed, multiple countries and sexual orientations find Valerie Leon hot.  You’re welcome, Planet Earth, if you want to give me the Nobel my ask box is open!  Anyway, it got me thinking that yeah, Valerie Leon is pretty hot.  So today I want to fuck Valerie Leon.

Emily Ratajkowski was at a thing the other day.  I can’t remember what it was because it was for some store opening or something and the truth is I just don’t care enough to remember that sort of thing.  She looked very good though.  Her top was shiny so I guess that helps/will get me mocked by people who enjoy that obsession of mine.  It was just nice to see her because she’s very pretty and… I think I like pretty girls.  I think it might be a thing I’m into.  Oh well, blog over, I figured it out.  It’s been fun guys.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Nicki Minaj because I adore Nicki Minaj.  I realize she is for some reason divisive (for some reason.  It’s a mystery why an outspoken woman of color is divisive…) so I am not here to convince you, I am old enough that I have grown to accept some people are just wrong.  Some are wrong so often you’d think it was a bodily function.  I happen to like her a lot.  I also like poetry and I like Maya Angelou.  So when this video of Nicki Minaj reading a Maya Angelou poem was shown to me I enjoyed it greatly.  So I will ignore your hate and point out that Nicki Minaj is both talented and beautiful and I happen to be extremely attracted to her.  So today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

One of the things that interests me about this blog (and only me most likely because I am navel gazing egoist who is fascinated with myself) is the sort of sway someone will have over me for a set period of time.  It’s an alchemy I can’t unravel as to what causes it.  I have posted Demi Lovato a bunch in recent months, or at least frequently compared to the past, because something about her is just clicking for me recently.  I have no idea why suddenly she looks so good to me.  But she does.  And I have lots of examples of that in this blog, stretches where someone shows up all the time only to disappear and so on.  I am not sure what drives it.  Anyway, Demi was playing at one of the countless Jingle Balls we’ll see across the country this month.  I am a little tired of the name Jingle Ball, it is one of those almost clever things that gets more tired the more you hear it and I realize this is likely a branding thing.  Almost every radio station in this country is owned by one of two companies so of course your local Jingle Ball is part of a mass branding in the same way radio sucks because there are set playlists and… I am about to go off on a rant.  I just think they could come up with more than one Christmas themed pun.  It’s not like they are spending time breaking new bands or anything anymore, they must have some free hours to kill.  Anyway, Demi Lovato looked great, I enjoy looking at her… so today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.

Here is Kate Upton because kind of my friend Katherine.  You will see me reference Katherine now and then, usually on her birthday, but she doesn’t have a tumblr so I can’t make any cool links.  Anyway, she and I were talking about celebrities last night and it was a fun conversation and because my brain is an asshole the second she left it was like, “You should try to convince Katherine to like Kate Upton”.  Why?  I don’t know.  There is no purpose to this.  And it’s been like 4 years so… it’s not happening.  But this is what my brain does, it decides to suddenly dwell on the thing that htat is the least helpful.  I mean, in the scheme of things it’s all very unimportant but that was my brain’s immediate reaction and it lasted all night and into the morning.  Like, it decided to make me obsessed with Kate Upton and… none of this post makes sense in retrospect.  I can’t really help that, I have Kate Upton on the brain.  Anyway, here she is wearing clothes because it’s really cold out side, so she should cover up, right?  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So I am fully into Christmas mode now, the Turkey is all gone and I am ready for some Christmas spirit.  So it’s good timing that H&M has been doing a bunch of Christmas themed adverts and Doutzen Kroes’ showed up this weekend.  Which made me think I should get a bunch of Doutzen Kroes Christmas themed pictures for this post.  Thus turned out to be a really big ask.  Other models would have been easier.  So it’s like, winter themed.  Which just isn’t as good but it’s the best I could do.  Of the many odd things I like Christmas themed sexy outfits are one.  I don’t know why, there is no other time red velvet and fur trim do it for me.  I am sure it is some deep-seated childhood issue but I guess it’s deep enough I don’t know why.  Better not to go digging I suppose.  Anyway, here is Doutzen Kroes because she’s gorgeous and guys, it’s 25 days until Christmas! Christmas!  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

I had fallen behind on Doctor Who because… well, it happens, video games have been taking up a bunch of my TV time.  Anyway, I caught up this weekend and well, I didn’t know that was going to happen.  So here is Jenna Coleman while I remain obtuse about what I am talking about.  She is pretty and I like her a lot.  So she is who I am posting today because today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.

“Yo, have you seen the voice actress for Cait?”  "I have not".  "You should look at the voice actress for Cait".  "Wow".  Pretty much the conversation I had last night with a friend via text.  We had talked a couple of days ago about Cait being a great companion.  I like her because she can take a beating.  In most situations that would be a horrible thing to say but when you’re fighting a pair of Assualtrons and being shot at by mercenaries it is really nice to have someone who can take a licking and keep on ticking.  For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about don’t worry, I’ll explain.  I am of course talking about the international climate conference in France.  Or not.  You can trust me or you can use Google, it’s your choice.  Anyway, Katy Townsend is an actress who has done a bunch of video games and a little bit of TV.  I have seen her in nothing but I love her accent which it turns out is real even though people on the internet have described her actual Scottish accent as, “Bad fake Irish”.  Which, yes, technically a Scottish accent is terrible at being an Irish accent.  Just terrible. Anyway, it also turns out she’s hot and I do so love Fallout so today I want to fuck Katy Townsend.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.   Mine ended up working out ok.  I enjoyed it.  Anyway, here is Bella Thorne, professional pretty girl.  I mean, she’s an actress too but she also has been a model like.. here entire life?  I dunno, she was in some pictures for Glamour Mexico recently and i liked them a lot because.. her dress was really shiny and you know me and shiny things, I can’t get enough..  She is pretty.  Today I want to fuck Bella Thorne. 

It’s Thanksgiving guys.  I hope you have a good one.  I am sadly still in pain and not having a great day so I am going to make this short.  I am thankful for lots of things but a big one is pretty girls.  So here is Candice Swanepoel who is indeed quite pretty.  I feel like I should be able to say more things, or at least something a bit more clever but I can’t.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.