I had no idea yesterday when I posted an athlete that it would be all but inevitable I would post another athlete today. But the ESPYs were last night. The ESPYs are still to this day an necessary and deeply silly thing in my mind. Not that sports shouldn’t be honored but voting on awards for sports seem silly because sports already have scores built right in to decide who is the best. All awards shows are pretty silly but at least there is no built in mechanic to decide best picture based on score. So the ESPYs are pretty silly but I don’t begrudge anyone’s love of them if there are people who love them. And they grant us a wonderful chance to see a bunch of athletes we would normally not see at all and in clothing we normally don’t see them in. Again, this is because with sports there is little call for red carpet fashion, even though I think gymnastics in a gown and heels is a much more impressive feat, I understand why they don’t do it. There is safety to be considered. So once I saw the ESPYs I knew I would end up posting someone from it and then it came down to I was going to post a gymnast. Not because they’re gymnasts but because Aly Raisman is just great in general and Nastia Liukin’s hair was outstanding. Also her dress. But here is where sports come into play. Aly Raisman was at the ESPYs and the ESPYs’ pre party. Which means two dresses. So she just outscored Nastia. 2-1 and that’s how sports work. It was out of my hands. I am not upset because Aly Raisman is one of those people it’s really nice to get the chance to post. She is pretty but also like a lot of Olympians I find a whole lot to admire about her outside of that. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Aly Raisman.

Jessie Diggins is in this year’s body issue, which I suppose is old news if you follow that kind of thing but I don’t because you can’t follow everything. I actually am a big fan of what ESPN does with the body issue and I am sure someone has some issue with it because the world is full of haters but it does a remarkable job of covering lots of body types and lots of ages in a celebration of the human form. I mean, Greg Norman is in it this year and he’s 63, and looks fantastic by the way, and it’s just a nice. I am sure someone hates it because it’s nudity and some people cannot separate nudity from depravity but I consider it a positive thing that is put into the world once a year. And we get a double positive this time with Jessie Diggins who, and this is also old news but I am just catching up, wrote about it on her blog and her struggles with an eating disorder when she was in her late teens. I have always found Jessie Diggins delightful and the one time I posted her previously in the past it was about how delightful I found her despite her not medaling. Then she went and medaled and remained delightful and inspirational. And she continues to be both of those things here because the truth is admitting anything like this is braver than you know. Or maybe you do know. I don’t have an eating disorder but I like many have parts of my past that are considered taboo to talk about or something I should be ashamed of. It takes a lot of courage to come clean about these things because it will alter how people will see you and the simple truth is a lot of people will attack you for it. I haven’t looked cause god knows I don’t need the rage that builds up inside me but I am sure the internet is full of terrible people with things to say about how either she is doing this for attention (people love negative attention. I know I personally love being attacked and told what a terrible person I am. It is so much fun) or that she is lying and well, who knows. This sort of thing tends to bring out the most vile parts of humanity. But it helps people so she did it anyway because she’s brave and you know heroic. It’s what she does. This winter I was proud to have her represent me as an American and today I continue to be proud that she represents me and my country. I am thankful that she does and we get to have her. So I wanted to post her. Today I want to fuck Jessie Diggins.

So this is the third time I’ve posted Ariana Grande in like… uh, 2 weeks? 3 weeks? It feels like a lot in a short period but I am not entirely certain. I could count. I won’t but I could. Just want to head off any discussion that I can’t count. I can count. I am not stupid, just lazy. Anyway, if you haven’t seen her God is a Woman video it’s pretty good. The part with the paint especially. It made me think of What Dreams May Come which is a movie that was very divisive at the time. Some people thought it was so beautiful to look at that’s all that mattered. Some thought it was largely pretty but hollow. And audiences didn’t see it at all. So those were the three major camps. I ended up seeing it on VHS cause a friend swore it was the most astonishing thing to look at in the world. I tended to agree. Just in case anyone wants to see a 20+ year old Robin Williams movie but was waiting on my opinion. You can thank Julia, she discovered it, not me. Anyway, since that movie had scenes that literally took place in paintings, Ariana’s video reminded me of it and I found it quite pleasant. It really is very pretty and as an added bonus the video is about 3% the length of a movie that people had mixed feelings on Ariana Grande is at least 25% hotter than Robin Williams. At least. So it’s a win win. Today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

Dua Lipa is beautiful. There, I said it. Once again I am using this blog to take what I can only assume is a radical stand. Sure she started her career as a model before becoming a singer and is very popular and has legions of fans but I assume I am the first one to notice this fact. While we’re at it, her name is kind of fun to say. Though you’re forgiven for being self conscious and worrying you’re pronouncing it wrong because sure it’s short but it’s also ludicrous so it could be easy to assume it’s tricky. It’s not. You’ll be ok. It isn’t one of those names spelled Dua Lipa and pronounced Tom Jones or anything. Back to my original point, she is stunning so I am posting her today. That’s about it. Today I want to fuck Dua Lipa.

Here is Darshelle Stevens who I actually only know about because of Hannah Ray. They are friends. I open with that because it’s just worth noting. Darshelle Stevens is probably more famous or more known or whatever the word is. But it’s the nature of fame in niche cultures these days that no one can know everything. Or even most things. So Darshelle Stevens is probably more ‘famous’ than Hannah Ray but in this household we care about Hannah Ray more and you will too as long as you’re under my roof! We also don’t pit woman against each other in this household so this whole thing has gotten weird. It’s a long intro to over explain a thing you don’t care about, dear reader. I am posting her today largely because of that D Va picture at the bottom. It’s my favorite type of cosplay. It isn’t based on a D Va costume from the game or anything but it is so very D Va. I like stealth cosplay. This one isn’t exactly stealth but it’s close. The sort of thing you could wear outside and a lot of people would just think are clothes but other people will immediately recognize as the character. I like this for a lot of reasons but in part it takes a sort of deeper thing than putting on spandex. You have to get to the core of someone. So it’s not just the colors or the bunny logo but the fact that she’s in an arcade and chewing gum. It just immediately feels right. To me at least. Anyway, she is pretty and I like that picture and I figured hey, why not throw together a few more because costumes are fun. Today I want to fuck Darshelle Stevens.

I am posting Pixie Lott because she wore a polka dot dress to… something having to do with the Voice Kids. Which, I haven’t looked this up but using my incredible powers of deductive reasoning, I assume is like Voice but for kids. Don’t worry if you didn’t know that. I am actually quite smart so I can see things others don’t. Anyway, she looked good and besides everyone knows my type is blonde British women who love polka dots. It’s a well documented science fact. So I am posting here because I have to. Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

So this is Elvira, who I have considered posting in the past but never actually have. Part of that is I was never like… intensely attracted to Elvira. A lot of times when you’ll see me post a star who was at her height in the days of old I will have some story about being way into her. I don’t have that here. Elvira was maybe a bit too goofy to ever really be a huge object of desire for me (and if we’re being honest a good bit too 80’s for me as well). I mean, there were a lot of boob jokes and a lot of boobs almost falling out of tops but the whole point was that it was over the top and silly and even in junior high I wasn’t like, “That’s hot”. I was like, “That’s funny”. But, to be honest, there were boobs almost falling out of tops. And those of you raised with the internet might not realize this but once upon a time boobs were a very scarce resource. Like, you guys don’t even know about the boob scarcity that existed for teenagers once upon a time. We didn’t have porn hub or tumblr or you know, every single corner of the internet. There was no internet. Not really, not how you think of it and those few saps dialing in to BBoards weren’t getting boobs for their troubles. No, they were getting pings and whines and hisses and some dudes anti-government diatribe. It was a different time. So while there was never a point in my life where I was like, “Oh, shit, Elvira!” there were points where it was like, “Hey, Elvira has boobs”. Like, she was a semi-ubiquitous pop culture figure in the 80’s. Not a big deal but one of those ever present little deals that meant everyone just knew who she was. I didn’t know exactly what she did when I was really young. She was spooky. My mom did not like her and would not have liked me watching her on TV. So I didn’t know she had a show or how to consume Elvira as content but somehow stumbled across her multiple times and you know, the feeling of getting away with something mixed with the youth of not realizing the movies she was showing were terrible were enough that the whole thing always felt like a thrill. So I have fond memories, in part because I have always been obsessed with horror hosts. I missed the golden age of those by like… well 30 years or something and there wasn’t much of it when I was a kid but they existed. Which I bring up because a big part of the reason Elvira is here today is as a public service announcement. Because I know this blog is mainly followed by people looking for important news to help their every day life. It’s the main purpose of the blog. Joe Bob Briggs is another horror host, and he used to host a show on the Movie Channel when I was a kid which my friend had and we used to stay up late at sleep overs in the summer to watch it and movies we never should have been watching. It was marvelous. Well, tonight, at 9 PM ET, Joe Bob Briggs is going to stream a live 24 hour marathon on Shudder. Shudder is not paying me for this, though if they want to I will totally sell out for their service because I love it. I have included a link because their live TV part is free and I think it will be on there. Don’t quote me. But my point is horror hosts are great. They are stupid and cheesy and make bad jokes and I love them. I just described Joe Bob Briggs and Elvira in this case. But I am posting Elvira because she’s definitely better looking. She’s retired so I can’t point you to what she’s doing for Friday the 13th but you know, think about her if you watch something else spooky tonight. Today I want to fuck Elvira.

Here is Emmy Rossum because she always looks pretty. That might seem strange and yes, I find everyone I post here attractive and so on but there are a select few who are a special kind of pretty. I am not saying they are my most posted or my all time favorite celebrities, they are more just people who seem to always look amazing no matter what, in any kind of outfit, and it’s always striking just how pretty they are. She’s one of them. She doesn’t seem to take a bad picture. She was at an event yesterday and looked very pretty. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Emmy Rossum.

Ariana Grande has shown up in a bunch of press stuff recently and that’s just a great because why on earth wouldn’t i want more Ariana Grande? It’s nice because there was a good patch there where she kind of disappeared. Not totally. I mean, she is Ariana Grande but it went from her being everywhere to kind of nowhere. This was a dark time as far as I am concerned. That time is over. Hopefully. Today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

So Taylor Swift interviewed Pattie Boyd for Harper’s Bazaar and this is all kinds of confusing and out of the blue but I am not even the least bit upset about it. It’s great. Patty Boyd is one of the most important people in rock history who never made music. For those who aren’t in the know, she was a model of some renown who became a photographer of great renown who then became the wife of a Beatle and the object desire of a guitar god and then the wife of that guitar god. There is a whole messy love triangle between her and George Harrison and Eric Clapton that has inspired some truly great art. I even put on Layla as I wrote this because why wouldn’t I? Anyway, rock icon aside, I in no way have thought at any point, “What does Taylor Swift think of Pattie Boyd”? It turns out she’s a big fan. I am glad. I think it could be exciting if an entire generation of people read Wonderful Today as a result. Either way, it is both bizarre and pretty cool that this happened. On top of that Taylor posed for some very classic 60’s style stuff and boy does that suit her. It’s not surprising, the secret of posing in looks of past decades is we’ve had literal years to filter away the garbage. You get to just choose the best stuff. Also, Taylor just does that kind of thing well. So I am posting her because it made me oddly happy to wake up to a Harper’s Bazaar with Pattie Boyd being interviewed by Taylor Swift and Taylor looks really good in the pictures. Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.