So this is Elvira, who I have considered posting in the past but never actually have. Part of that is I was never like… intensely attracted to Elvira. A lot of times when you’ll see me post a star who was at her height in the days of old I will have some story about being way into her. I don’t have that here. Elvira was maybe a bit too goofy to ever really be a huge object of desire for me (and if we’re being honest a good bit too 80’s for me as well). I mean, there were a lot of boob jokes and a lot of boobs almost falling out of tops but the whole point was that it was over the top and silly and even in junior high I wasn’t like, “That’s hot”. I was like, “That’s funny”. But, to be honest, there were boobs almost falling out of tops. And those of you raised with the internet might not realize this but once upon a time boobs were a very scarce resource. Like, you guys don’t even know about the boob scarcity that existed for teenagers once upon a time. We didn’t have porn hub or tumblr or you know, every single corner of the internet. There was no internet. Not really, not how you think of it and those few saps dialing in to BBoards weren’t getting boobs for their troubles. No, they were getting pings and whines and hisses and some dudes anti-government diatribe. It was a different time. So while there was never a point in my life where I was like, “Oh, shit, Elvira!” there were points where it was like, “Hey, Elvira has boobs”. Like, she was a semi-ubiquitous pop culture figure in the 80’s. Not a big deal but one of those ever present little deals that meant everyone just knew who she was. I didn’t know exactly what she did when I was really young. She was spooky. My mom did not like her and would not have liked me watching her on TV. So I didn’t know she had a show or how to consume Elvira as content but somehow stumbled across her multiple times and you know, the feeling of getting away with something mixed with the youth of not realizing the movies she was showing were terrible were enough that the whole thing always felt like a thrill. So I have fond memories, in part because I have always been obsessed with horror hosts. I missed the golden age of those by like… well 30 years or something and there wasn’t much of it when I was a kid but they existed. Which I bring up because a big part of the reason Elvira is here today is as a public service announcement. Because I know this blog is mainly followed by people looking for important news to help their every day life. It’s the main purpose of the blog. Joe Bob Briggs is another horror host, and he used to host a show on the Movie Channel when I was a kid which my friend had and we used to stay up late at sleep overs in the summer to watch it and movies we never should have been watching. It was marvelous. Well, tonight, at 9 PM ET, Joe Bob Briggs is going to stream a live 24 hour marathon on Shudder. Shudder is not paying me for this, though if they want to I will totally sell out for their service because I love it. I have included a link because their live TV part is free and I think it will be on there. Don’t quote me. But my point is horror hosts are great. They are stupid and cheesy and make bad jokes and I love them. I just described Joe Bob Briggs and Elvira in this case. But I am posting Elvira because she’s definitely better looking. She’s retired so I can’t point you to what she’s doing for Friday the 13th but you know, think about her if you watch something else spooky tonight. Today I want to fuck Elvira.