Tag: Actress

It feels appropriate that as things wind down Amber Heard returns to this blog. For those who weren’t here, which in fairness is most of you because I have roughly 50 times the followers I did then and at least 8 of you are not bots, Amber Heard was one of the most posted people on this blog in it’s first year of existence. I think she was the 3rd or 4th person to reach 10 posts here. Her red carpet stuff can be hit or miss and well… sometimes you drift apart but I really liked what she wore to the US premier of Aquaman so I am posting her. It’s a good gown. Today I want to fuck Amber Heard.

Felicity Jones is undeniably beautiful. She is promoting some new thing and I know very little about it but when I see her I am taken each time with just how gorgeous she is. I feel like I should have more to say but the 17th approaching is feeling oppressive and making all this sort of feel like an exercise in futility if you want my honest opinion. It’s hard to work up the motivation. Today I want to fuck Felicity Jones.

If ya’ll haven’t noticed, there’s a bit of a theme developing this week. It didn’t start that way but it’ll end that way. Today I am posting Michelle Trachtenberg in honor of @femalecelebrityoftheday. Why? Cause he’s another friend I value from this place. Remember yesterday when I mentioned every friendship is different? This is a good example. He has great taste in movies and lives in Scotland and I don’t know his real name but given the facts I have I assume he spends all his time fighting lake monsters, eating haggis, and watching Star Trek. You might wonder how I figured this out but I promise you it’s actually very simple. I’m an asshole American which allows me to boil down all other nationalities to a couple of stereotypes so I only kind of have to consider them people. You’re welcome, now go drink your Irn Bru and play your bagpipes. You’re welcome, I managed like 5 things. I usually stop at 3. Anyway, he tends to have pretty good taste and is one of the few people who understands what it is like to run a blog like this. His is different of course but enough the same that he knows. We attract some weirdos who are mildly offended when we aren’t as weird as them. We get some people who never figure it out. He’s a good guy though and I know he’s sticking around. But wishing so many people probably weren’t heading for the exit. Michelle Trachenberg is the celebrity I associate most with him because, and i didn’t check but my memory is flawless, he posted her every other day for the first 22 years he ran his blog. I think she got passed by like Emma Roberts or Nessy since then but I still think of her as his girl. And well, I have never disagreed that she cleans up pretty nice. Today I want to fuck Michelle Trachenberg.

Here is Gemma Arterton who it turns out looks very pretty in pink. The British Independent Film Awards were last night and she was there and we’re all kind of winners because she looked fantastic. I mean, it’s more reward than award but I’ll take it. Today I want to fuck Gemma Arterton.

I know I just posted Dove Cameron the other day but like.. she showed up in a new photoshoot and I am only human. I mean, that shoot isn’t here but that’s for reasons involving me deciding I liked these pictures better after those pictures got me looking for what pictures of her to post. It’s a complex process here, guys. Anyway, she looks good because that’s her thing. It’s almost unsettling if I am being honest but in a good way. Like you know, the Twilight Zone or something. No, wait, that isn’t a compliment at all. Forgive me, I’m tired and my coffee machine broke this morning so I am living like an olden days settler or something but worse because it’s also cold and rainy and I assume they never had to deal with that. Today I want to fuck Dove Cameron.

Priyanka Chopra has shown up in a few photoshoots this week and thank god. So I first posted her in the first year of this blog and she showed up less than once a year after that. Well, until Quantico became a thing and then suddenly I could post her as much as I wanted. I dropped off the show early because… well, I actually get the appeal of heightened nonsense but it wasn’t my kind of heightened nonsense. When it ended I was suddenly worried Priyanka Chopra would retreat back to the realm of maybe there will be picture of her at Cannes or some other major international event and so I will see her once a year. That has not proven to be true and I hope it means she’s here to stay. I don’t know if that’s because of her ambition and dedication or because Nick Jonas was smart enough to pop the question. I don’t actually care. I am just glad. So enjoy these. Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

Dove Cameron is here because I have no idea if she’s in anything at the moment but random pictures of her keep showing up and my reaction is always the same, “Oh, she looks good there”. Which makes sense, as discussed in previous posts she’s the sort of pretty that almost feels unnatural. Like someone designed her in a lab somewhere to be pretty. So obviously that would make for good pictures, if not the entire experiment would be a failure. Anyway, that’s why I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Dove Cameron.

I am posting Jodie Whittaker because I caught up on this week’s Doctor Who. I understand not everyone is enjoying the new season. I would like to be shocked but you know what? I think I started with the rebirth of Doctor Who towards the end of Tennant’s first year and even then the loudest voices were that the show wasn’t as good as it was. So I am sorry for those who aren’t enjoying it but you know, nostalgia is a bitch. Nothing will probably ever be as good as how you felt when you were younger. At least not your memories of it. That’s a whole other thing. I happen to really like her as the Doctor and really like the entire cast actually. That’s what I tend to look for. A hero to enjoy time with and a fun cast of characters around her to enjoy. I am getting that. And I really am enjoying her take on the Doctor. It’s the amazing thing to me about the role really, how much it can change and still feel like the same person to me. I am happy at least. Today I want to fuck Jodie Whittaker.

Here is Gemma Arterton because she’s crazy beautiful. Like, she stands out to me because I don’t really watch a lot of Gemma Arterton movies. I can’t remember the last thing I saw. I really liked Byzantium but past that… there isn’t a whole lot. This means I tend to not think about Gemma Arterton at all. And then she’ll show up on my dash or at an event and every time it’s like, “Holy shit, she’s beautiful”. I am always just kind of taken aback by how pretty she is. She was at some thing for a TV show she’s in this weekend and again looked good and so I am posting her. Cause wow that face. Today I want to fuck Gemma Arterton.

So Hayley Atwell was in the Telegraph this weekend which stated that it’s baffling that she isn’t a Global Superstar. And they’re not wrong except it isn’t entirely confusing if you have any idea how the entertainment industry works. It’s confusing in the sense that Hayley Atwell is not just a gifted actress but she has the thing that makes a lot of people on screen superstars, boundless charisma. Most movies stars are movies stars first and actors second. That isn’t an attack on anyone’s acting ability, it’s just the truth. The public goes and buys tickets to see Will Smith, not his character and it’s why Will Smith often plays the same type of character. This is true of most major movie stars throughout history. It’s about that actors personality, or at least the part of it we see on screen. Hayley Atwell just oozes charisma and I thought she was fine and that was it until I watched her in things at which point it became holy shit Hayley Atwell! But that’s kind of the thing, she’s a woman not a man so to be quite blunt the standards are different. She doesn’t look exactly like Hollywood’s idea of a female movie star. Which seems silly to anyone reading this I am sure cause you found this on the Hayley Atwell tag but she has even shared stories about executives calling her fat. They’re wrong. They’re dicks. But it’s also not confusing. She isn’t a star because no system is based on talent alone. Our meritocracies still require a lot of luck and other outside forces. So it’s baffling in the sense that she deserves it and every part of me will fully support Hayley Atwell but it’s not confusing. It’s because the world isn’t always just. But we get her work and we get to make our own decisions which is why I know this post will be popular. Hers always are because those who get it realize she is fabulous. And that’ll have to be enough. Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.