So I guess I am posting Rachel Riley today.  It’s weird, that’s twice in a couple of weeks and like… I don’t think for a year before that?  That happens sometimes.  In this case it’s just a matter of her showing up at events and looking really good.  I mean, she wore a shiny dress to a Gala last night so by law I am required to post her.  She looked really good in it.  I saw a British person say she looked really smart.  I agree.  I know she’s good at math.  She looks really good at math in that dress!  Today I want to fuck Rachel Riley.

So my buddy @femalecelebrityoftheday said yesterday that pictures have been really light and he’s almost out of people to post.  I get what he is saying.  Since around Thanksgiving basically nothing has happened in the world of celebrity gossip and pictures and so on.  I get what he means because I have felt the same way, though it seems hard to imagine actually running out.  For example, I am posting Rihanna today because she has shown up in Vogue Paris.  But even if she hadn’t I don’t think the world is going to run out of Rihanna pics.  Not soon I hope.  I guess even those are a finite resource but I feel generally like if I need to I can find them.  But I do know what he means, it’s almost an inspiration thing.  Rihanna is one of the most beautiful people on the entire planet but if she hadn’t been in a French Magazine it never would have occurred to me to post her.  I blame TV and video games for ruining my attention span.  Anyway, the shoot is awesome, it has this sort of retro feel to it that for some reason made me think of Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face.  If you are going to evoke a feeling of an old star you certainly could do worse.  So when I saw them I knew I was going to post Rihanna because again, remarkably beautiful, good photoshoot.  It’s easy.  I did do my due diligence though, I looked and nope, no one else beat her today.  I uh.. weird, I lost my train of thought.  I can’t remember, I guess my attention wandered.  I should say something about our attention spans sometime.  Oh well.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

When I was in about 3rd or 4th grade, pretty much every boy in school had some poster of a car on their wall.  It was always a Lamborghini or a Ferrari.  I think.  I am pretty sure because I remember overhearing guys having debates over which was better.  The really daring guys (or guys with permissive parents I guess) had ones with a girl in a bikini or something laying across the hood or whatever.  I never had one of these posters because I never really got it.  We couldn’t drive and in retrospect knew literally nothing about driving.  I get that supercars look cool and are some kind of guy thing but I think it was actually just the fact that conspicuous consumption was the coolest thing possible in the 1980’s.  It’s like the whole country was that trashy Nouveau riche trophy wife who didn’t get that making everything gold is not classy at all.  And if you keep telling people it’s classy that’s completely unclassy.  The entire decade was basically that.  So I’d see the posters and be like, “Cool”.  But if it didn’t transform into something other than a car I didn’t see the point.  I wasn’t allowed to have posters at all actually because they would mess up the wall paper.  So maybe I never got it cause I don’t come from poster people.  Anyway, Pixie Lott was at some sort of Ferrari thing last night that involved her wearing red leather and it made me think of those old posters. Like I can appreciate Pixie Lott standing in front of a nice car.  I am glad she’s not laying on the hood because I’d have to wonder why.  It doesn’t strike me as a comfortable place to be.  But then, I have my questions about a red leather dress’ comfort as well.  I am wearing sweats right now.  Again, we weren’t poster people so maybe I don’t get it.  She looked good though so here she is because today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

So there was a viewing party for the Victoria Secret Fashion show last night and Candice Swanepoel looked fantastic on the red carpet.  She was wearing like… I think they might have been pajamas.  Which makes me think it was a slumber party but no one else was wearing pajamas.  They are see through and just very fun to look at and well… look, it was very clever of her.  Besides the fact that I love the look, it’s pretty well documented that I love slumber parties.  You can ask my friend @lunoboom if she actually ever sees this and logs on, she often accused me of being obsessed with slumber parties.  And it’s well known that Candice Swanepoel is obsessed with me.  I thought she had given up but no, she’s just gotten more subtle.  My two favorite things? Slumber parties and… things that kinda look like those pajamas that might not be pajamas it might just be too fashion forward for me?  Everyone knows those are my two favorite things.  Very clever, Candy, you win this time, I’m posting you. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Man guys, not a lot going on recently and I don’t have a ton to say.  I guess some days I am not that creative.  I just their Saoirse Ronan is pretty and more I like all the things I have seen her in.  So she showed up at the Gotham Indy Awards thing and… hey, that’s good enough.  It was a nice reminder that she exists and that I like her.  So today I want to fuck Saoirse Ronan.

Guys, I think we are officially into the Christmas season now even though it doesn’t quite feel like it to me. Maybe when December gets here.  Either way, I am posting Jessica Nigri today and my reasons for posting her has nothing to do with Christmas but I did include some Christmasy type pictures just in case it helps anyone get into the holiday cheer.  I don’t have much of a reason for posting her besides the fact that sometimes I am simple.  She’s pretty hot. Sometimes that’s all I need really.  Plus I mean, my attempts to pass along Christmas cheer I guess.  Ho Ho Ho.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.

I hope everyone had a good weekend.  Mine was pleasantly relaxing.  Not feeling at my best it turns out allowed me to do absolutely nothing the past two days completely guilt free.  Like, it felt like sitting around playing with dolls on my computer was the responsible, adult thing to do because I was resting. Which is the best gift of all, slacking and feeling like a hero for doing so. Anyway, here is Nicki Minaj who I can’t imagine was slacking this weekend. She strikes me as a very hard worker because she’s always doing something. I don’t have a specific reason for posting her I guess besides finding her attractive. Not a lot of celebrity news this weekend but she came up in a discussion this morning and that’s good enough for me.  She is very attractive.  And hey, last time I posted her the post got a lot of love instead of the usual hate. Let’s keep that trend going!  Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

It’s a slow weekend for celebrity sightings, no doubt due to the Holiday and so on.  I mean, the rest of the world isn’t celebrating Thanksgiving so I dunno why you guys are just sitting around but the result is very little seemed to happen yesterday.  That’s fine.  I am still trying to stay mellow and relaxed and recover so I am sitting here watching YouTube videos.  And I just watched Daisy Ridley build a Millennium Falcon while being interviewed.  Two things about it struck me, the first being that I wish Legos weren’t so damned expensive because I would probably play with them still as an adult otherwise.  $20 to spend a rainy afternoon building a spaceship?  That sounds pretty fun.  $150?  Go fuck yourself you Danish Bandits.  Unless Lego is a Dutch company.  I can’t remember now.  Well, whatever you are, you can go straight to hell. Second was how pleasant Daisy Ridley is and how lucky I feel that the new cast of Star Wars is a delight.  She and John Boyega feel like a gift to those of us who grew up loving Star Wars, even in the dark days when loving Star Wars made you weird because there hadn’t been anything new and Star Wars in 10 years. They just feel right as people and we are lucky to have them.  So I enjoyed it so I am posting her cause guys, it’s less than 3 weeks to the new movie.  I am excited.  Today I want to fuck Daisy Ridley.

There are uh… well there are somethings that I always assumed didn’t need to be said.  But you know, it’s 2017 so I guess we should all get used to stating things that seemed patently obvious a few years ago.  So um… y’know, let’s start with don’t murder anyone guys.  Like, murder is bad.  And that’s not just my opinion.  I have spent a lot of years reading a lot of philosophers and admittedly, that wasn’t really me investigating the moral nature of murder, it was for bigger questions but I can tell you, almost universally Murder is seen as a moral wrong.  It’s one of those cross culture/cross time things.  Murdering someone is bad.  This still feels like a thing that shouldn’t need to be said, especially not on a blog called Who I Want to Fuck Today but… hey, 2017.  If you wonder what brings this up it’s because Deepika Padukone has a price on her head.  That would be upsetting enough but it was placed there by members of the ruling party in India.  There is a lot going on there and it ranges from classic bigotry to slut shaming and I don’t need to go into it because I think it will tempt a lot of my readers, you know, Western types, to engage in some monocle popping and snotty comments about that’s how things work over there.  There being not in the West.  It’s all very condescending and I want to avoid it.  But I am going to admonish India a tiny bit.  Stop it India.  Please stop giving terrible people over here ideas.  Like… I don’t need the people who were protesting on my very street about Confederate Statues starting kick starters to murder actresses for daring to uh… exist?  Again, I do want to stress that murder is generally considered a moral wrong.  Like the most famous philosophical dilemma of our time is the Trolley Problem and if you are familiar I want to point out the problem comes from the idea that killing is wrong so there is no good solution.  It isn’t a maximizing your score thing.  And you might wonder why Tumblr needs to know this, tumblr is woke as fuck and on and on but it does come down to a more important problem that tumblr has as well. Use your words.  If someone forwards and idea or thought you disagree with use your words.  Not violence.  Ever.  I know it seems like a lot of fun to punch a Nazi but there is a different between being self righteous and right.  And if you want to know what I mean I mean that when you resort to violence you debase not only your argument but those who stand with you.  And you might say who cares, I don’t care what anyone thinks who would worry about Nazis.  And well, that’s the self righteous part.  You get to feel good.  You get to feel superior. You have changed not a single mind and you have not made the world a better place.  You’ve just made yourself look good to a small circle of people who already agreed with you.  Rhetorically, the only way to combat an idea is with a better one.  This is what changes minds.  And it doesn’t matter if you think it’s fair or not, when you resort to violence it doesn’t make you look right.  It makes you look like someone who knows they are wrong and the only option they have is to silence the other side.  It makes those you disagree with look like oppressed martyrs.  It’s a thing to think on.   Anyway, Deepika Padukone is beautiful and I have never posted her because I have never seen her in anything.  I watch Bollywood movies because I consider Bollywood to be a greatly unappreciated genre the fuses musicals and cabaret and just… they’re epic.  But I don’t see that many.  I will be seeking out Padmavati if I can because hey, it’s a legend I am not well versed in and it’s the best passive aggressive way I can protest a stupid bounty on someone’s head because you disagree with art you haven’t seen before.  But I know who she is because she’s a popular actress and beautiful and so I figured why not post her because we live in an era where it has become important to stress murder is wrong.  Even when it’s a woman so beautiful it makes you feel funny in your pants and that makes you angry.  Still wrong.  Today I want to fuck Deepika Padukone.

Welp guys, it is Thanksgiving and I am posting Angel Olsen again because she was pretty successful last year.   In that I mean a lot of people seemed to appreciate the post and I plan to give similar advice this year, only with a high fever and very little sleep added in to really spice things up (I accidentally typed Halloween to start and had to stare at it for 30 seconds to remember what was wrong).  I guess the thing that needs to be said is that holidays are not always a great time for everyone.  They just aren’t and I know in our brave new world they can be even more stressful.  The first thing I want to tell you is that your reaction to Thanksgiving is ok.  Your reaction to your family is ok, too.  That feels maybe the most important.  Most of you will just have to swallow your pride and try to keep quiet because you are going to somehow be the more mature one at the table.  Some people might try to make you feel bad about that but not everything needs to be a battle.  It’s ok to have a day off.  There are so many reasons you might not be able to speak up.  Maybe you’re still financially dependent on your family.  Maybe you’re scared of some of your family.  Maybe you’re held hostage by the fact that the shitty family members come with the ones you love and you’re held hostage by that.  Maybe you just wanted some Turkey and a day off.  There are so many reasons and they are all ok.  You can let yourself off the hook on this one, even if someone posts something here telling you otherwise.  They are wrong.  No one knows your specific situation and I want the world to be a better place but I am not sure fighting with your family will do that.  I am not sure that small incremental improvement if it exists is worth the price of you.  Only you know your situation and I am saying it’s ok.  No one else knows. What I do know is at some point it is going to get to you.  You are going to crack under it all and this does not make you weak.  It isn’t a failure in your part.  It makes you human.  Willpower is not an endless well and at some point it will be tapped out.  Be it from having Narcissists as parents, being forced to sit across from your abuser, your “wacky” Uncle Jimmy or Pete or Billy or Jimbob and his thought on Muslims.  Whatever it is it drains you and that’s ok.  That’s why my advice comes in.  Bring your headphones.  Whatever is going on you can walk away.  There is no shame in it, it is actually the adult decision and if the other adults there aren’t mature enough to realize it then it’s not your fault.  Don’t make a scene, just go to the bathroom or to wash your hands.  Then find your stuff, put on your headphones and go for a walk.  Most people probably won’t even notice.  If they do make an excuse.  You needed 2000 more steps and had to get them in before you fell into a turkey coma.  You felt light headed and needed some fresh air.  You had a call you had to take.  Whatever.  But put those headphones on and listen to some music you love.  Truly love.  It doesn’t have to be upbeat, it just has to set your soul soaring.  You’ll know better than I.  It’s where Angel Olsen comes in.  I think she’s brilliant and her album My Woman was in heavy Rotation this past year.  This year I saved her new release to listen to for the same reason.  Music can build a fortress around your senses and fortify your heart when you need it.  Use it for that.  Art can illuminate, it can educate, it can help you transcend your own shitty existence but it also can just be a soothing balme when you need it.  Use it.  Enjoy your Thanksgiving and do what you need to to make it trough.  Remember, whoever is causing you stress will be gone in a few days but you will still have your music and you will still have some left overs when they are gone.  That means you’re going to win.  They cannot beat you.  Today I want to fuck Angel Olsen.