I am sick so I am phoning this in today.  This is Becky G.  I have posted her before but am remarkably uninformed about her.  I just know she’s pretty and I assume somewhat successful since she pops up on my computer screens from time to time.  Good for her!  She is adorable.  Today I want to fuck Becky G.

Victoria’s Secret’s Fashion Show was this past weekend and pictures of it have been popping up and so here is Candice Swanepoel.  I know I already posted her this weekend but that was unrelated.  That was me being busy and nice pictures of her being easy to find.  This is me seeing pictures of her walking for the show and liking them and so I am posting a bunch of pictures of her at this year’s and past year’s shows.  Radically different posts.  Except for the main point which is that today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

The American Music Awards were last night and I am a little torn on declaring a winning because I am uncertain about how I feel about Demi Lovato’s dress. It’s one of those things that when I look at it in thumbnail it doesn’t quite work for me, when I look at the fine details I like it a bit more.  But either way, the thing is, when I am sitting here going, “I dunno, that dress isn’t quite working” I am also still going, “Man, she looks beautiful”.  So I am posting her because she looks beautiful.  So I guess she won.  I dunno, I am strangely noncommittal this time out.  I can definitively say that she is gorgeous though.  Today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.

So if you know me, or vaguely pay attention to my blog, you probably would have expected me to post Jessica Chastain yesterday.  You would have expected this on account of her wearing a stunning sparkly black dress mixed with being Jessica Chastain.  You were not wrong to expect that but I’ve had a hectic couple of days and am just now catching up.  So I have seen the dress from AFI fest and wow, yeah, it’s for me.  It’s amazing.  She is amazing.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

I am busy as a bee this weekend.  And not one of those lazy ass bees that is all like, “No, totally, I will meet you guys at the flower” and then sits around eating honey all day and when the other bees get back he’s like, “Oh you meant that flower?  I was wondering where you guys were.  I went to a totally different flower”.  Anyway, I am so busy I have no idea what’s going on but Candice Swanepoel is pretty and I am too busy to really write a decent post.  I’ll need you guys to just finish this entry.  Boy, I sure am <adjective> today.  Lots of <noun> going on this weekend.  So I have posted Candice Swanepoel because she is <adjective> and <adjective>.  Also because she looks good in lingerie.  Here she is in <adjective lingerie.  Sorry for those of you who prefer her in <article of clothing> but this is what I chose instead.  Anyway, she is here because I like her.  She actually is better than a <container> full of <plural noun>.  That went <adverb>.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

How about some Anne Hathaway guys?  She has shown up at a few things this week and looked lovely and that’s enough for me.  I dunno why she was at events.  Is she promoting something?  Maybe, it’s a mystery because I am too lazy to investigate.  I just think she looked pretty.  Today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

Here is Rachel Riley cause she was at a thing… last night?  Two nights ago?  I paid shit attention to the date because British Celebrities just pop up sometimes and you know, the events were a week ago because of the exchange rate or something.  Either way, it was a charity gala thrown by the Manchester United which experience tells me will cause some people to reblog this in utter anger.  Which I kind of get because I like sports but mostly sounds silly to me because it’s about a sport and teams I just can’t imagine caring about.  Anyway, Rachel Riley is basically any red blooded American’s dream actually in that she is pretty, I guess she really likes sports, and she’d be really good at doing your taxes.  Also she has a really nice accent so I feel like at dinner parties anything she said would sound really smart, even if it wasn’t. So you know, basically the dream for anyone.  Except English people I guess. Your accents probably are less impressive to you guys.  You’ve been spoiled.  But yeah, blonde, English, good at math, allows me to be lazy come tax time, looks great in a red dress.  That’s the dream. (Small side note, @wildflagsure lives in England and god I hope she’s good at math because she sells drugs.  But she is having a bad day so maybe drop her a line and say something nice?)  Today I want to fuck Rachel Riley.

Here is Nicki Minaj because she was on the cover of Paper Mag which is attempting to break the internet.  Will it?  Probably not.  The internet is more resilient than magazine publishers would like you to believe.  I liked the cover though.  Is it lascivious pandering?  Yeah, probably.  Definitely.  It turns out sometimes I am ok being pandered to.  Mostly because I find Nicki Minaj very attractive and am ok with the idea of there being three of her.  I’d add the cover to the post but there isn’t a really high quality version of it and obviously I have high standards here. It’s probably what most people think when they see the name of the blog: high standards. I find Nicki very attractive and am always happy for the chance to post her.  After all, as was pointed out to me recently, I made a friend in @thunderstormofoblivion by posting Nicki.  Who wouldn’t want to post her more if that’s the result?  Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

The Glamour Women of the Year awards were last night and lots of publications give Women of the Year and Men of the Year awards and it always strikes me as a little strange.  Sure, I like best picture or best new novel or whatever, that makes sense.  It is choosing the best of art that was produced to help honor and I assume bring attention to it so people know they should check it out.  But like… best person?  It just feels odd.  I had a joke here but I have lost it.  I will not be winning memory of the year sadly.  Anyway, the best looking Woman of the Event was Gigi Hadid.  She often looks good because she’s pretty but also she has a pretty good sense of style.  In this case the gown she wore was just fantastic.  I love it.  The intricate work on it, the color, the cut.  She looked great.  So today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

The EMAs were last night, which are a thing that obviously exist but I didn’t know existed until I started running this blog.  I mean, I knew MTV Europe was a whole other creature because I guess there were like… rumors about it in the 90’s?  I don’t know a better way to describe it.  We weren’t all talking about it but pre-internet the other side of the Ocean was shrouded in mists of the unknown.  This probably sounds ludicrous but it was true.  You’d hear that some band was huge in Europe but it could just be horseshit or it could be true.  You knew that like, the musical landscape in the UK was radically different than that of the US in 1994.  It all could be made up though, there was just no way to know, just this one kid who went to Germany for a week and swore it was different (usually swore it was better because that made him sound more interesting and unique).  Anyway, now I am well aware they are a thing because we get all sorts of celebrities showing up at them and I post every year.  And this year I saw some early stuff and figured I’d post Charli XCX because let’s be honest, she dressed just for me on stage.  It turns out I was wrong.  I am posting Natalie Dormer because oh my god Natalie Dormer.  She looked so hot.  She always has this core sexiness to her, it’s just what she does.  Man though, last night?  She looked so good.  I don’t remember who I posted after the VMAs now but I am going to say that Natalie Dormer looked better at the EMAs than anyone did at the VMAs.  So I guess what I am saying is maybe that weird kid who went to Germany was right, European MTV is better.  Weird.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.