Here is Dua Lipa who I have intedned to post for some time but haven’t. Probably to my benefit because then I didn’t have to post poor predictions.  I expected her to fully blow up this summer and it didn’t quite happen.  I mean, if you’re looking at this post you either follow me or you know her, so she isn’t super obscure but I thought like… I don’t know, maybe she’d have the song of the summer.  That her name would be on all lips.  It didn’t happen.  Was there even a song of the summer this year?  I actually can’t think of one.  That could mean I am officially old or it could mean the fracturing of culture has progressed to a point where that is now a thing that no longer exists.  The two are of course not mutually exclusive but only one is the reason why I can’t think of one.  Either way, it makes me a little sad because it will be a thing to be missed.  Sorta.  Part of that is nostalgia talking, overall the fact that there is so much choice and people can find what they want is a good thing.  Mostly.  I don’t miss the mono culture as a whole but I do miss the unity it brings.  The idea of universally shared experiences.  We all still have them, they are just less obvious now and less likely to be a thing you talk to a stranger about. Which is a shame. There is also the fact that as we pursue our narrow interests our heads end up so far up our own asses we can’t see anyone else.  So there are drawbacks to each.  And I miss the idea of an identifying song of summer. Like, other than the hook Fancy was a dumpster fire but it’s nice for us to all know it.  And that in 20 years when they are making movies someone can put that on and we immediately know what year it is.  And some of them are quite good (has Call me Maybe been 5 years, Jesus).  So I would have liked Dua Lipa to be that, I would have enjoyed that as the signifier of this summer.  It didn’t happen and maybe it didn’t happen for anyone really?  Oh well. I still think she’s a pretty good pop singer and I also think she’s really pretty.  So she’s here.  Today I want to fuck Dua Lipa.

Here is Priyanka Chopra because she sure is pretty.  That’s about it.  She is often at things and was at something for Bumble the other day and looked great so here I am posting it.  I feel like maybe I shouldn’t like that dress, like even with the belt it’s strangely shapeless but you know what?  I kind of love it. Maybe it’s the color or maybe she just has tendency to look good all the time. Whatever the cause, I like it, I like her, so here she is.  Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

I don’t know if anyone is aware but it’s October and that means Halloween is coming.  I probably haven’t mentioned it so it’s ok if you didn’t realize.  It is coming though.  I am excited.  Again, you probably had no idea.  Anyway, here is Jessica Nigri cause she wears costumes.  Sometimes I like how she looks in costumes and I have liked a few things recently a lot.  And you know… I wanted something Halloweeny.  And I mean, look at that black nurse Mercy costume.  It’s terrifying right?  This is a completely spooky post and I forgive every one of you who is so frightened by these spooky costumes that you forget to hit like or reblog.  You were too terrified.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.

Here is Camila Mendes because Riverdale and yadda yadda yadda.  I had more to say and could get into a lot of stuff but the day has slipped away and to be frank there is something more important going on right now. So I am just going to note that I think she is ridiculously pretty and I really like her a lot. Today I want to fuck Camila Mendes.

Here is Blake Lively because she’s long overdue.  She’s been promoting her new movie and the result is suddenly she’s all over New York city wearing bright colors and fabulous outfits and just looking great.  Then it will be over and she’s disappear back into Westchester County.  She’s like some rare migratory bird or something, completely unseen for most of the year then suddenly she’s out for a few weeks in the fall, everyone takes pictures because it’s such a rare and beautiful sight and then she’s back into her hidey hole.  Or maybe there is a funnier, more accurate metaphor since I know nothing about birds.  I’ll leave that up to someone who cares more smarter.  My point is for a few days it has been amazing, especially because she seems really dedicate to looking as good as possible and showing off as many amazing looks as possible.  There are days she wore like 4 different things.  It’s fantastic.  I consider it a real public service she is doing because of course she looks great.  So today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

So here is Susan Strasberg because I was watching Scream of Fear and she was in it and very pretty.  The movie is also pretty solid as far as second tier early 60’s psychological horror movies go.  That sounds like faint praise but it’s Hammer and you can’t go to Hammer expecting prestige pictures, they have limitations.  I am setting expectations is all, for the kind of studio Hammer is this is a really good example of the kind of stuff they make.  You may or may not recognize Susan Strasberg but her name at least should be familiar.  This is because she is the daughter of perhaps the most famous acting coach of all time, Lee Strasberg.  On top of that she had a very long career.  I actually have seen her in a lot of movies over the years.  This is one of her earlier roles and I didn’t recognize her but now it makes sense that I liked how she played things so much, she has chops.  She also is classically beautiful.  I actually thought she looked like Anne Hathaway from some angles, which does sort of sum it up, the whole classically beautiful thing.  Anyway, good movie, good actress, guys, it’s October.  How great is October.  Without an October this post wouldn’t even exist.  Today I want to fuck Susan Strasberg.

Jessica Chastain was at Elle’s Women in Hollywood thing last night and she looked great.  I was going to bemoan not seeing her in anything lately and I was thinking I wouldn’t any time soon on account of it being October and me treating watching horror movies like it was a job but then I remembered Mama. She was so damn good in that.  It’s so hard to pull off the woman raising kids who doesn’t really want kids and not look like a monster.  Cause that role is usually the villain, not the hero in a movie.  But she pulled it off and you felt every part of her and she was a hero cause she took care of them anyway and fought a fucking ghost.  And I believed every moment of it because if Jessica Chastain is going to go toe to toe with a ghost I am going to believe in ghosts for at least a little bit.  She’s amazing.  And also she looked good, and she looked good over the weekend at the Hammer Museum, which every year holds a Gala to remind me that it isn’t at all a museum about Christopher Lee movies like I want it to be, instead it’s a much more boring thing with contemporary art.  Oh well, she still looked good.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

This is where my blog becomes a snake eating it’s own tail.  So I posted Danielle Harris on Friday, which had me thinking about Danielle Harris this weekend, which had me talking to a friend about her last night, which had me watching some of her movies late last night.  So where does it end?  Will I just post Danielle Harris every few days from now on?  No, probably not.  First of all, there just aren’t that many pictures of her.  I can keep making gifs but I don’t want an all gif post and eventually it will just be gifs of horror movies and Friday already had her covered in blood and apparently to some people that’s “disturbing”.  It does seem like the end game of the internet, where it becomes such a narcissistic echo chamber that I am eventually just echoing back what I said.  And you guys think blood is disturbing.  I mean, I first saw Danielle Harris in a movie when I was about 10 years old.  She was also about 10 in it, it was Halloween 4 and was on VHS and given she’s a couple years older than me was probably a couple years old.  I have always kind of liked her, yeah, even at 10, though I don’t know if I knew I liked her at the time.  I had a complicated relationships with my crushes back then.  Either way, the thing is I would go years without seeing her in movies and years without even thinking about her honestly, until the internet happened and the rise of social media and so on, where you are able to create a little tunnel of your interest that keep you from broadening your horizons.  Then I started thinking about her much more cause she tweeted and Google would tell me it knew I was into her.  It’s why I watched one of the movies I watched last night. I only knew it existed because when she was making it she was tweeting about it.  Years ago.  It wasn’t good.  I actually knew that going in.  But you know… apparently this is where we’re headed.  If i had to guess one girl I would repeatedly post for the rest of my life it wasn’t going to be Danielle Harris but oh well.  I hope you guys like clown costumes cause it’s about the only thing left I haven’t posted of her.  And you guys thought blood was disturbing.  Today I want to fuck Danielle Harris.

I found out Hayley Atwell was at a thing last night when @femalecelebrityoftheday posted her and I was like, “Well, I guess I’ll be posting Hayley tomorrow”.  I was right.  It’s amazing how accurate my predictions are when I am solely responsible for their outcome.  I’m some sort of genius or something.  Her showing up at something always feels like such a rare treat, how am I supposed to not post her.  Anyway, the BFI is having a film festival and she was at the awards for it and she looked great.  And also I want her to just be in more stuff please.  Can you hear me Hollywood, it’s me Margret.  I would really like it if you made Hayley Atwell your biggest star now.  We’d all benefit because you’d have a bundle of charisma and talent and joy in your biggest projects and we’d get to see a bundle of charisma, talent, and joy in your biggest projects.  Thank you.  Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

This is Sharni Vinson who is an Australian model and actress that I have only seen in one thing and that is You’re Next, a home invasion/slasher movie from what is now almost a decade ago which is kind of scary.  I rewatched it this morning and while it isn’t perfect it is a pretty cool twist on the genre in general. If you have ever watched a horror movie and wished the victim was more capable well… this movie is for you.  It doesn’t quite go all Rites of Spring/The Last House on the Left where she becomes the predator (and a monster) or anything, but it is fun to watch a bunch of men who appear to be thrill killers suddenly realize one of the women they are targeting is substantially more competent and capable than they are.  I don’t want this in every horror movie, it would become lame and pandering but it is a nice twist on the final girl.  It sort of feels like the end point of the type.  Not that it shouldn’t exist anymore but the logical extreme that some movie needed to take it.  The Final Girl is of course the girl who lives to the end of the movie but more so is the most capable member of the movie.  I have always had a lot of love for slashers, in part because I grew up with them and in part because they are unknowing commentary on the times we live in, but also because of the final girl.  In what is largely considered the best scholarly work on Slasher movies (which is why every hack like me quotes it, it’s almost the only resource we have), Carol J Clover came to the conclusion that Slashers are really the most consistently feminist genre of movie (which is both disappointing in some ways and probably shocking to people who love to shit on genre movies) in that not only is it one of the few sub genres that consistently gives female characters agency, it also is one of the few that forces male viewers to empathize with and actually identify with the female lead.  We don’t just feel for her in a movie, we are forced to see the world through her eyes and any fantasies we have about being the hero force us to want to be her.  Which is why I say this is sort of the logical conclusion of the type in that Sharni Vinson doesn’t just survive, she becomes the bad ass you are actively rooting for.  It’s why I included the first picture. When she picks up that ax you aren’t worried if she’ll live, you know those dudes in their creepy animal masks are in fucking trouble.  Again, this wouldn’t work for everything and the movie has it’s flaws, but it sure is a lot of fun to see the tables turned and her beat the shit out of some dudes.  And she does it really well.  And her accent is kind of sexy.  So today I want to fuck Sharni Vinson.