Tag: blonde

Here is Pixie Lott because.. blonde British girls?  If you’re new around her you may not know that is secretly my thing.  Well, not secretly but like… it was a secret to me until I started this blog!  I don’t know why she is here but I guess to be fair it is rainy outside, so that probably makes me think of the UK, I am listening to the Animals, so British Music, and um… oh I am drinking tea.  Basically if the queen accidentally stumbled into my place she’d think she was in Buckingham Palace.  I mean, that’s basically Buckingham Palace, right?  Tea, rain, and the British Invasion?  Sure we’ll go with that.  Anyway, Pixie Lott is one of those people who is just so pretty it almost seems like it takes no effort.  She just smiles and you’re like, oh, what a pretty girl.  Of course, it can’t be that easy but it seems that way.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

It seemed like an inevitability that I would end up posting Gigi Hadid eventually.  An inevitability because she keeps showing up everywhere.  Not just on tumblr but man a few months ago she just started popping everywhere, but she is just like… around.  This happens sometimes with models, they are kind of the next big thing or maybe the next next big thing.  Either way they suddenly become inescapable if you are the sort of person to notice them.  It helps she has a memorable name.  But once that happens I know it’s really likely they will show up here because if this blog has taught me anything it is that I am far more easily influenced than I’d like to think I am.   Who I post the most often isn’t just influenced by what human beings I find most attractive, it is also influenced by who is just the most accessible in the world.  There are celebrities I am very attracted to who don’t show up as many times as you’d think based on how attractive I consider them because they aren’t as omnipresent.  And you know, out of sight, out of mind.  So girls who are just seemingly everywhere are likely to show up a lot if I am at all attracted to them.  Gigi Hadid is attractive.  She is everywhere, thus it only makes sense some day I would be like, ok, wow, look at her.  Have to post her.  Today is that day.  Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

It is really rare for me to post the same person multiple days in a row.  It has happened but it is rare.  And so that is why today I was sitting here, thinking it looks very likely I am going to post Blake Lively for the second day in a row and going, “man, can I do that?”  And then I got a message from thunderstormofoblivion which said, “You might have to keep going with Blake as your choice for the next lil while“.  And… she is right.  Like, I can’t fight it, she has looked really, really good. Like, I thought she looked good in the stuff I posted yesterday but then Yesterday she was all over the place looking better.  I am only human.  So today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

I got a submission this morning that was, to be frank, a bit rambling and pointless, not the thing you’d expect from contact@snggu.freeboatsonline.net but we all have our off days.  Still, the point was made that I don’t use the words maidenhead or besmirch often enough.  Now some people would discount criticism from a spambot but I feel it is folly to ignore good advice simply based on the source.  Truth is truth and the truth is I don’t use them enough.  Some people would feel you have besmirched my honor, sir, with this criticism but I do not.  I thank you for piecing the maidenhead of my ignorance, I will endeavor to right this glaring error in my blog from here out. Anyway, this doesn’t have a ton to do with Blake Lively but it needed to be addressed.  Probably it is something fewer people realized than the fact that Blake Lively is ridiculously gorgeous.  It’s kind of her thing, a winning smile and stunning looks, making it all look so easy.  So you don’t need me to tell you that.  She has shown up in a bunch of press for her new movie and she looks great so… here she is.  Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

My sleep is kinda out of whack.  It has been worse but it has been better, like asleep by 8 PM, awake by 3 AM.  It could be worse, worse is when you can’t stay awake durign the day, you know, whne you’re supposed to be working.  Still, 3 AM is pretty boring and had I used my head yesterday I would have remembered yesterday that 3 AM is when new issues of Community appear online now.  Anyway, I watched this morning and the show seems to still be finding it’s footing with the whole new reality as a web series with a bunch of different cast members but there are flashes of the old show now and then.  And one of those was a bit of Britta and Annie rivalry and then I couldn’t decide who I wanted to post today, Alison Brie or Gillian Jacobs.  So I figured why decide, I want both because both are great.and so today I want to fuck Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs.

So I woke up at 3 AM this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep.  So what do you do at 3 AM?  The answer is not a whole lot, there just isn’t a lot to do at 3 AM.  At least not from this end, if you’re still up there can be some fun to be had, if you’re getting up?  Less so.  So I made some hot chocolate and watched Frozen.  I couldn’t begin to tell you why these were the choices I made but they were the choices I made.  I of course have seen Frozen before because everyone in the world kind of insisted I watch Frozen when it came out.  It was quite good, I liked it a lot, and there is a lot to distinguish it from other Disney movies, even if it isn’t the first to do certain things I thought it did an excellent job of marrying a lot of elements that are uncommon in Disney movies.  I don’t really watch animated films with an eye to which girl is the hot one usually but I kind of did with Frozen because one of the things I noted about it was that every girl I knew who saw it (and was not a child I should stress, this was an adult reaction, not a 3 year old reaction) told me that Elsa was extremely sexy.  Which is odd.  I mean, I remember being like 11 years old and getting some funny feelings about Ariel but I am not sure how common this is and it isn’t like I watch Toy Story as an adult and start elbowing friends going, “Huh, huh?  Check out her.  Am I right?” But this was the near universal thing I heard about Elsa.  So I sat down and watched it and was like, “I dunno, I kind of like Anna better”.  This time though I felt like I got the Elsa thing more.  She stood out.  I am trying to put together why.  She is not the hero of the piece but she does seem to have a good deal of Agency by the end, I think people respond to that.  Especially because she starts with so little, just a girl hiding and trying to make other people happy.  I think people respond strongly to someone standing up and telling the world to go fuck itself, which is basically what she does in let It Go, which everyone in the wold loves.  But there is also a Rappacini’s daughter thing going on with her, we are a species of petulant children who definitely want what we can’t have.  So a girl we can’t touch?  Holy shit yes!  I mean, I have posted Rogue before.  But it gives some vulnerability, which I think is what our brains are really after, strength with vulnerability because being petulant children we are all about ourselves, so for someone to be truly attractive we also need to have some level of self insertion.  That’s not a sex joke but someone who is perfect isn’t appealing because how do we fit into their lives?  We need someone who is strong but, you know, if we were there, we could help them with that one little thing, that loneliness.  I think this is what people’s brains did without thinking about it during Frozen.  Or it could be the dress she made out of ice.  That’s a pretty fucking awesome dress. Anyway, rue to admit it as I am in the middle of the night, today I want to fuck Queen Elsa.

Happy Easter everyone.  I hope you guys got lots of whatever you want for Easter.  For me that’s Cadbury Creme Eggs.  I have been told they are just not for adults and my friends claim they cannot get a single one down, they are too sweet. My friends are losers, quitters, and this is why they will never amount to anything in life.  None of this has anything to do with Candice Swanepoel really.  Believe me, I tried to come up with some sort of bullshit Easter connection but I couldn’t. She’s just here because she’s hot.  I mean, I guess maybe this is the holiday really most closely tied to my blog since all our Easter traditions are tied up in ancient fertility rites and so on but it’s a stretch.  Candice is gorgeous and um… that’s it.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Kate Upton hasn’t shown up here in like a million years.  Or a month and a half.  Either way it’s really long by this blog’s standards because I used to post her almost every day once upon a time. Or so it seemed.  I don’t know, as she has gotten more popular new pictures of her come out less often.  It’s a strange thing with celebrity, as you become more valuable you often seem to work less.  Or maybe need to work less.  Or maybe I am imagining it.  I don’t know, I didn’t sleep great to be honest.  The point is Kate Upton is still very hot and there were some new photos recently from her work with Express and I guess those ones from Edit Magazine.  So that’s something.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

This post is about It Follows.  I saw It Follows yesterday and it has been churning around in my mind as excellent films are want to do.  So It Follows is here.  This is not a knock against Maika Monroe, indeed she is a large part of why it is so excellent, it’s just that she is also infused with my love for the movie.  I want so badly to talk about it but I also don’t want to spoil it.  I went in mostly blind, other than highly touted and ridiculously well reviewed I didn’t know anything about this movie going in.  I mean, I knew it was by the guy who mad the Myth of the American Sleepover, and I liked that movie, but that isn’t really a plot thing.  The movie was excellent, at once reminiscent of so many things but also wholly unique in how it felt. Maika Monroe was the lead, playing the pretty girl everything revolved around and she is indeed pretty but that’s not why she’s here.  She is here because the entire cast gave just excellent, naturalistic performances as teenagers and a group of friends with a lot of history but hers was the best. There are a couple moments where her acting was just awesome.  This one scene in a hospital.. it’s wordless and it is so good.  The movie is so good.  I really want ot talk about it so you know, if you’ve seen it send me an ask, we’ll talk about the movie.  Maika Monroe has now been in two things in a row that I have thought she was really good in.  She is also apparently a professional kiteboarder which is just stupid because how many things does someone need to be good at?  I don’t know, I liked the movie, I liked her performance so today I want to fuck Maika Monroe.

Here is Gillian Jacobs cause I just watched yesterday’s Community.  The idea of internet broadcasting really destroys the urgency of watching TV the day it comes out.  It’s strange because I recorded stuff on DVR before I was watching it online but I would still usually watch it that night.  Now it is just like… not urgent in my mind.  Even if I really want to watch a show my brain no longer goes, “Oh man, Community is coming on, I better get all this paperwork done so I can watch”.  So that’s going on with me and I actually liked last nights episode a good bit, it felt like the first one so far where the show has found it’s groove with it’s new cast and stuff.  The show feels smaller and different, too.  It’s hard to explain but things change.  I mean, I am posting Gillian Jacobs instead of Allison Brie ( femalecelebrityoftheday is going to have a field day with that).  I don’t know why, she is what caught my eye so here I am, posting her, saying today I want to fuck Gillian Jacobs.