In general I am not prone to rage on the internet because in general I assume I am smarter than everyone else and thus if someone is wrong about something I take it in stride. They aren’t as smart as me. They don’t know any better. That’s nothing to get angry about. I had a dog once who used to grab a squeaky chew toy, make it squeak, and then run away in fear. I wasn’t angry he couldn’t ever figure out that he should stop that, he was trying the best he could. That’s my long, condescending way of implying everyone who disagrees with me is a moron. You’re welcome to disagree but I would say reread the beginning of this post again. Now there are a few things that do anger me though, despite the zen like cool that comes with running a blog about what celebrities I find attractive I am only human. The first is when I am following people and I see them getting hate. My example in this case would be the forever lovely and wonderful pleasestopbeingsad who basically spends her time drawing pictures to make people happy and somehow this means a subset of the internet feels obliged to message her and tell her they hate her. Because you guys can really be a bag full of dicks. The other thing that makes me mad is probably best represented by Kate Upton. Probably because I see it with her the most. People feel the need to call her fat all the fucking time. Or ugly sometimes. Usually they talk about how fat she is. Which is of course a level of dipshitery I can’t even begin to comprehend. Now, Kate Upton herself doesn’t need me to defend her. I wish she did, I’ll admit it would be nice if I could save her from Ninjas and then whisk her away to a palace made of diamonds and we could eat hamburgers and laugh at all the idiots on the internet raging about her being too fat to be a model. But I lam like… 75% sure that won’t ever happen. It makes me mad though not just because it is ridiculously inaccurate but because it is the internet at it’s nastiest. Which is people hiding behind their anonymity to be dicks and do what they can to make people feel bad. See, people who call her fat aren’t just calling her fat, they’re calling whole swaths of the population fat and they’re doing it because they are cocks. You can tell they are cocks because if you don’t like something and your decision is not to walk away and find something you do like but instead attack that thing and more importantly result to personal insults, you are a cocks. Trust me, I know, I spend time reading about etymology, I know how words work. It all stems from the Germanic Root word Kocke which means heap of dung or anonymous internet commenter. More disappointing is how at least in the circles I travel it is largely women who feel the need to say her thighs are fat or she is “well marbled”. Disappointing because I think everyone is used to men treating women badly, there’s a whole field of study with literally millions of examples of that. I would hope at least for a little solidarity rather than cattiness though. Or maybe not, it probably shouldn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, you should try not being a cock. My point is really a few things, if people seem to like things and you don’t, that’s fine, be you. You don’t actually need to rage against that thing. You can if you think it’s important but it’s fine to walk away. It is never fine to just be a mean spirited asshole, just trying to hurt people. Here’s a secret, it reveals you to be the sad, miserable person you are. I know you think you scored one, be it sending hate mail to sweet cartoonists on tubmlr or spewing your rage about a celebrity across the internet but you didn’t win anything. Anyone with any maturity and experience is just going to see you for what you are. Besides, you are wrong, Kate Upton is gorgeous. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.
Who I want to Fuck Today 