Tag: Michelle Trachtenberg

If ya’ll haven’t noticed, there’s a bit of a theme developing this week. It didn’t start that way but it’ll end that way. Today I am posting Michelle Trachtenberg in honor of @femalecelebrityoftheday. Why? Cause he’s another friend I value from this place. Remember yesterday when I mentioned every friendship is different? This is a good example. He has great taste in movies and lives in Scotland and I don’t know his real name but given the facts I have I assume he spends all his time fighting lake monsters, eating haggis, and watching Star Trek. You might wonder how I figured this out but I promise you it’s actually very simple. I’m an asshole American which allows me to boil down all other nationalities to a couple of stereotypes so I only kind of have to consider them people. You’re welcome, now go drink your Irn Bru and play your bagpipes. You’re welcome, I managed like 5 things. I usually stop at 3. Anyway, he tends to have pretty good taste and is one of the few people who understands what it is like to run a blog like this. His is different of course but enough the same that he knows. We attract some weirdos who are mildly offended when we aren’t as weird as them. We get some people who never figure it out. He’s a good guy though and I know he’s sticking around. But wishing so many people probably weren’t heading for the exit. Michelle Trachenberg is the celebrity I associate most with him because, and i didn’t check but my memory is flawless, he posted her every other day for the first 22 years he ran his blog. I think she got passed by like Emma Roberts or Nessy since then but I still think of her as his girl. And well, I have never disagreed that she cleans up pretty nice. Today I want to fuck Michelle Trachenberg.

Some costumes are slowly trickling in but to be frank, not enough costumes.  I realize tonight will probably be the big party night but come on, if you are rich and famous and have access to world class costume designers, I say go all out. There should be Halloween parties for like 2 weeks leading up to Halloween. Why have the parties compete?  Think of all the candy you are missing out on, Hollywood!  All those excuses to dress up and eat candy, which I assume like most adults, are your main goals in life.  It hasn’t happened yet though.  For some reason.  Luckily, Michelle Trachtenberg is always reliable.  She doesn’t fuck around when it comes to Halloween and I always appreciate it.  Her costumes are often similar thematically, which you know, good for her.  A lot of people don’t have a distinctive look period, much less a distinctive style when it comes to Halloween.  Also, her make up work is always so good it isn’t like they ever feel the same.  They are just in the same school of costumes.  And man, the make up work is so good.  This year (lower left) it is so creepy and disquieting.  She went super pale then with a dark design and if you don’t look closely it looks like she doesn’t have a mouth.  It’s just very unsettling.  Which I guess could sound like an insult but it isn’t.  It’s fucking awesome.  Ghost that looks at you and then screams until you piss yourself from a strange Asian horror movie is frankly a fantastic look.  I love it. So today I want to fuck Michelle Trachtenberg.

I watched this very mediocre movie called Sexy Evil Genius.  It seemed familiar when I saw it but I had never seen it before, I am not sure why I heard of it other than I had.  Anyway, the movie wasn’t anything special but Michelle Trachtenberg was pretty hot in it.  It’s strange really, I find her very attractive but I almost never post her.  I would say the frequency at which I post her is almost inversely related to how attractive I find her.  I think part of this is my dear friend Female Celebrity of the Day posts her all the time and so it feels like… she isn’t mine.  I’d be encroaching on my friend’s territory. That would be douchy of me, like you don’t go to a party and hit on the girl your friend likes, even if you’ve always kind of liked her you don’t, not when you know your friend’s feelings are much more intense.  So I guess what I am saying is she doesn’t show up often because what if one day she reads this and was so flattered that she fell in love with me?  I’d feel like a real ass.  So I guess I try to avoid that.  Of course, that said I can’t deny that today I want to fuck Michelle Trachtenberg.

The original Black Christmas is rightly considered a classic.  It was a slasher before there were slashers, it was competently acted and was directed by Bob Clark, the guy who also directed A Christmas Story.  It is pretty good and felt like such a find when I first discovered it back in the days before the internet made everything easy to find.  The remake that came out like a long time ago now was a disaster.  It was just not a good movie and I was so excited because I love the movie and because a few girls I really like were going to be in it.  Well, because I hate myself a friend and I rewatched it last night.  It’s still horrible but it is the absolute cause of today’s pick.  See, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Katie Cassidy rank among my top “obscure” celebrities.  Such thing is so hard to judge, especially on the internet where there is often a disproportionate amount of attention compared to what the public at large thinks.  Still, I think even if I started listing things they were in most normal people still wouldn’t know who I was talking about.  And the real point is my passion for them has always been disproportionate compared to how often they show up.  It is not easy finding new pictures of them regularly because people aren’t taking them.  Of course, I guess maybe Michelle Trachtenberg has slipped into that category as well, she doesn’t show up a ton anymore either.  Still, she was close enough to being a name that I bet most people would know who she was if I muttered something about Buffy or Eurotrip or something.  Anyway, the only thing that the remake improved upon over the original was hotness.  It was a very, very attractive cast. Which some would say is often the problem with most remakes, they are flashier, prettier, and slicker but they tend to lack heart.  I don’t hate remakes but this one was so bad.  These girls though… so hot.  I kind of knew that Katie Cassidy or Mary Elizabeth Winstead would be today’s pick but then I couldn’t decide.  And then Michelle Trachtenberg kept sneaking into my thoughts as well and I just knew that I should give up and be greedy.  Today I want to fuck Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Katie Cassidy.

Recently the ever charming Female Celebrity of the Day commented about being out of new girls to post.  It is something I understand.  The rules for my blog are pretty simple, which is, if you didn’t know, I post whoever I want to fuck when the urge hits me that day.  So these rules are simple but I often worry I am posting people too often and getting boring or something, like my libido is driven by the opinion of others or something.  Anyway, it is a silly fear because there will always be new girls to catch one’s attention, it’s kind of the nature of celebrity.  Just think back 10 years, I would imagine your celebrity crushes have changed a bit since then.  Also because i am a nerd with excel I counted.  I have posted 151 different girls since I started this blog.  That’s some variety.  This is 152 and that’s surprising because I didn’t know she had never shown up here, but in a case of the snake eating its own tail I started thinking about her because I was thinking about who I haven’t posted yet.  So that means today I want to fuck Michelle Trachtenberg.

I find myself rather attracted to Michelle Trachtenberg every few years.  This isn’t some sort of strange cyclical attraction or anything but inevitably I will be single or working a lot of odd hours or for some reason forced to a lot of solo late nights and I end up spending a couple months rewatching Buffy and Angel.  During that time I will find myself, in some combination of this order, growing ridiculously attracted to Charisma Carpenter, Alison Hannigan, moving on eventually to Emma Caufield with some splattering of Eliza Dushku in there (and sometimes on rare instances Sarah Michelle Gellar).  I always end on Michelle Trachtenberg though.  I am not the biggest fan of Season 7 of Buffy and I get why people found Dawn annoying but… she starts to look pretty good.  She still looks good but her star has faded a bit in the past 8 years or however long it’s been since she looked like a rising star so I just don’t end up seeing her that much.  But I do find her attractive.  Today I find her attractive and you know, I tend to share that with you guys so here she is.  Today I want to fuck Michelle Trachtenberg.