Tag: Singer

This post is a long time overdue in that… Ariana Grande has almost made it multiple times.  Like, she was my number 2 some days?  It feels like she was supposed to be here multiple times and just kind of got beat out.  She actually last showed up here 7 months ago.  Now, part of that is I am not really like obsessed with Ariana Grande or anything so it’s easy for her to slip into the background but that is too long given the frequency with which she pops up in my thoughts.  It’s just bad luck I guess.  I know, poor her.  Famous, popular musician doesn’t get attention from me.  She must be crushed!  Anyway, she is here now because she is a lovely mix of adorable and sexy and today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

This is a post that is at least like 2 and a half years in the making.  At least.  See, my oldest follower at this point and I believe my 7th follower ever, who is also a very good tumblr friend of mine (the great monicaspeaceofmind who I first linked to over 2 years ago in a Scarlett Johansson post), started following me because of Hillary Duff.  I have never posted Hillary Duff before.  But I have considered posting Hillary Duff many times before. And one day, very soon after I started my blog I was checking her tag on tubmlr and liked a post about her and that ended up being the 7th person to ever follow me because she liked my blog when she checked it out I guess.  Anyway, Hillary Duff has been someone I have considered posting.  It goes back even further though because I don’t know when Lizzie McGuire was on exactly but it overlapped with when I was working nights at a record store.  Very early 2000’s I guess.  I have never seen the show but I understand it was a touchstone for some teenagers and being in my early 20’s at a record store I worked with some teenagers.  Who all told me I should watch it because Hillary Duff was totally my type.  That was a little uncomfortable because I was not sure how young she was but “too young” was the most apt description at the time and I was a little frightened that my type was 16 year olds in these people’s minds.  They clarified they didn’t mean that she just seemed like the kind of girl I’d like.  I still don’t know what they meant or what cosmic connection I might have with Hillary Duff if we weren’t so star crossed that we’d never met.  I can honestly say I haven’t seen anything of hers except her guest roles on Gossip Girl and Community.  I am not sure I have even heard her music.  That said… I do often see small thumbnails somewhere of some celebrity and I am like, “That girl looks good, who is that” and I expand it and bam, it’s HIllary Duff.  So what I am saying is I guess everyone was right and she is my type.  It just so happens the only pictures that seem to surface of her are ones of her like out with her kids trying to hide her face and I don’t have the heart to post pictures I found with the headline, “Hillary Duff goes for a walk with kids in tight jeans. Ass. Butt”.  Also, I just don’t like that so when I look I get a little bored and move on and forget about her.  Not today though, today I took my time and her new album means there have been some nice new pictures to mix with a bunch of old ones and I am rambling and I’ll just say today I want to fuck Hillary Duff.

So I was at Staples because I guess part of being an adult means you go to Staples eventually?  I am not sure, I just know that I needed file folders which seems like a profoundly adult thing to need.  I actually didn’t even realize they weren’t a renewable resource that just grew out of my desk before I went to get one and they were all gone.  I don’t remember ever buying them in the past.  Maybe they just came with the house or something?  More likely my mom got then when I was like 18 telling me how much I was going to need them as I rolled my eyes and was like, “Ok, moooooom,” knowing full well that her generation may have needed file folders but not mine.  We weren’t ever going to sell out like those god damned baby boomers.  Anyway, that’s probably where they came from but I can’t be sure File Folder Gnomes didn’t just deliver them.  Irregardless, there were no more but it’s cool cause I’m an adult and I knew there was a Staples or something a few miles away and as an adult I could totally handle this.  Staples seemed like an adult place to me at least because I know I have never had a desire to go in there but every time I pass a toy store I have to fight the urge to stop and go in and see what they have (I own more shit that glows in the dark than you could possibly believe). So I go to Staples and I realize I have said that name a lot, they aren’t a sponsor or anything, I don’t have sponsors.  Except maybe my boss because sometimes I have been at work and typing this stuff but I am not billing for those hours so I don’t think that really counts.  Anyway, I get there and I didn’t know what Staples had besides file folders and like printer cartridges.  I guess maybe highlighters if I thought about it.  Well, it turns out they have just a ton of Dora The Explorer themed back packs and notebooks.  So apparently it is for kids, just the most boring kids ever because it seemed to be a Mecca for kiddie branded office supplies.  Or maybe that’s a back to school thing but I didn’t see any Trapper Keepers and let’s be honest, you’re pretty lame if you don’t have a Trapper Keeper.  Anyway, among the other strange things in this magical land of computers and printer paper and K-cups were giant posters and cardboard cut outs of Katy Perry everywhere.  They all said that I could make it Roar.  Which is nice.  I have no idea what that could possibly have to do with office supplies.  Honestly, I don’t even really know what Katy Perry has to do with office supplies period.  And believe me, I have tried imagining her as a sexy secretary or something to see if that helps and it doesn’t.  She just wasn’t made for the corporate world, it would be silly.  So I am at a loss BUT I will say that Katy Perry looked very pretty and I may be tempted to sketch a heart with WIWTFT + KP inside it on one of my file folders but I promise it will be in blue or black ink when I do.  Because I’m an adult.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

So yesterday proved to be kind of crummy in the general, wide outside sort of way.  Not personally though it was hard not to feel personally affected when Robin Williams was found dead.  It was odd because I would not have assumed it would hit me hard but it did and for lots of reasons I think.  You probably don’t really want to hear about those but it is sad and it is tragic that someone can be 63 and still not have reached a point where his demons have been at least contained.  Except of course they haven’t.  Then of course as I was going to bed news began to surface that Christy Mack was brutally beaten by an ex boyfriend. (And you know, friendly note, if you’re feint of heart don’t click that link, the pictures are brutal).  And I welled with a mix of anger and sadness and feared just what I might see on the internet today and it didn’t fail to disappoint me when of course I saw slews of comments about how a porn star is asking for this or that.  I won’t claim to have nearly the personal impersonal connection with Christy Mack that I do with Robin Williams but they are both stark reminders at how dark and brutal this world can be and how short on empathy the rest of us can be.  I don’t want to get into it more than that but I do think everyone should pause and wonder if their reactions to adversity for others is less than sympathetic.  If you find yourself holding people who suffer in contempt maybe you should stop and wonder why.  I am not in a great mood today which is why I am posting Katy Perry because she has the ability to often make me smile.  I don’t know her either, like all public figures we know them only through their work and the impact their work has on us.  But she seems to know how to have fun and she is fun.  That’s all I want right now.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I think today we’re going to see a bunch of pictures of Katy Perry from Rolling Stone.  I have seen a couple lower quality ones already but I assume we’ll see more before the day is out because that’s kind of how it works.  I am not really the sort of person who keeps track of this kind of thing for an particular person but I am the sort of person who follows people who do and I can read, so I know they are coming.  It’s always kind of exciting, which is silly.  I am not sure why we are all obsessed with newness except we are.  Really, there are enough pictures of Katy Perry in existence already for any reasonable person.  But I kind of want more all the time.  Anyway, here are unrelated pictures of Katy Perry being colorful because it’s one of my favorite things about her, her pictures are often colorful and fun.  And pretty.  I dunno, I don’t have a point really besides today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I am glad that Lana Del Rey has a number one album.  Or had, I dunno where it is now.  I never really pay attention to those things other than to occasionally go, “That’s all you have to sell to have a #1 album now?"  Oh music industry, you can blame the internet but we know whose really to blame.  Anyway, I don’t have any sort of emotional connection with her that has me rooting for her personally, I have friends who do, who just unabashedly love her and thus in their heart of hearts want her personally to succeed (and probably to marry them.  Like I think they’d take either.  Yes, I am talking about you lunoboom). I don’t have that.  I like her fine but her music doesn’t move me in the way it moves others and I just… don’t care that much.  That said I am glad to see her succeed because one of the internet’s more obnoxious traits is when it collectively decides to shit on someone.  I mean, there are exceptions.  Like if you guys wanted to muster up your courage and start talking about how Hitler was kind of a dick you have my support.  That guy was a dick.  But most celebrities aren’t Hitler.  I don’t know Lana Del Rey or anything but I am going to go out on a limb and say, without having met her, whatever her sins may be as you perceive them, potential collagen injections, inauthenticity, being too popular, being calculated, et al., they are not as bad as Hitler.  I also just typically cannot take joy in seeing someone fail.  I have never really understood that sort of thing.  So I am glad she had some success and it has probably come at the best time because if it had happened with Born to Die she’d probably still be #1 on a bunch of hate lists.  I mean, it kind of did happen with Born to Die but the perception was that it was not successful for whatever reason.  So good for her.  I like seeing someone who is unfairly hated get the classic best revenge, succeeding.  Of course, that’s just me rambling, she’s here today because I think she’s really pretty and she has a certain something about her that can be pretty sexy sometimes.  Today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

Here is Pixie Lott because I said so.  I guess that is actually the pure reasoning for every single post I make but today I am feeling a little tired.  I shouldn’t be, I went to bed last night and slept for like 10 straight hours. I only even woke up then because someone called me and woke me up.  I feel like a teenager or something.  So I chose Pixie Lott cause I was like man, who will I post today and she popped into my mind.  Probably because I like thinking about her because she’s pretty.  That works for me, you know me and British girls.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

Rihanna is one of those people that when I see her and I think she looks good I think she looks really good.  Like it’s strange cause weeks will go by without seeing anything about her and it’s like I forget Rihanna exists almost.  Then she’ll show up and it will be like, “Oh right… Rihanna!"  Her trip to Brazil for the World Cup has had that effect.  I think she looked really good and honestly it looks like she had a good time.  I am not usually a huge fan of pictures of celebrities walking around or jumping into the Ocean or whatever but she usually looked like she was having a good time and they just felt right so… here we are, today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Today I am posting Lana Del Rey and it’s 100% because all these pictures of her started popping up yesterday from this photoshoot she did and she did this thing in the photoshoot that meant I had to post her.  What was that thing?  She looked amazing.  She did this thing where she looked amazing.  It seems like she’s had a pretty good week since she had the number one record, which you know, good for her, it’s so strange that she elicits so much hate (but just as much love).  I guess some artists don’t have anyone lukewarm about them, they just seem to generate a lot of devotion and a lot of repulsion.  I don’t get it.  But man is she gorgeous.  And yeah, her voice is really sexy too.  But she looked so good and that’s all it takes sometimes so today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

Pixie Lott is here today because she gives me happy thoughts.  That’s not some innuendo, though I guess the potential innuendo there could be true, too.  But my point is she isn’t here because of innuendo, she’s here because like lots of things we start to associate someone with something else and they become linked.  Pixie Lott is like that for me so I love seeing pictures of her for many reasons, the main two being happy thoughts and she is very pretty.  And boy is she pretty, just look at her.  Oh yeah, and also blah blah blah British and Blonde.  I have a sickness or something.  I have a fever and the only cure is more Pixie Lott?  Sounds more appealing than cowbell.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.