So last night I sat around watching the Olympics on mute and listening to old British Rock bands on vinyl (the obvious pairing of course), just like every other red blooded American does. Anyway, my musings about do we listen to pop music because we’re miserable or are we miserable because we listen to pop music were derailed this morning when I saw a picture of Rowan Cheshire, whose name could only be more British if it was Nigel Pennyworth Cumberbatch IV, which I hate to reinforce gender roles and so one but would be a terrible name for a girl. So it’s probably the most British she personally could have. Anyway, here is where I do some scouting for you guys for tonight because the first part of the Women’s Ski Half-pipe is tonight for Americans. At some other time for godless heathens. Uh, like Rowan I guess. Anyway, she is just beautiful and sexy tattooed freestyle skiing badass and she reminds me a little of Alexis Ren. I don’t know what record to pair that with. My heart says 80’s training montage music but maybe Yakety Sax if you don’t like sports, that sounds hilarious. But the truth is if you can’t find some joy in the half-pipe, with the way they are able to get air and contort their bodies, then you’re a regular Ebenezer Catesbury Mudbottom (note, I cannot wait for your corrections about this name as you explain to me that also you’re not a classic, humorless Sir Hugh Hawthorne-Tittensor), which is well known to be the most curmudgeonly British name. Today I want to fuck Rowan Cheshire.