Category: Uncategorized

I watch the Americans and it is a pretty amazing show on many levels.  It’s so very well done and put together and there is a lot of it that deserves praise.  For obvious reasons I am going to single out Keri Russell today.  She plays quite the complex character, at once cold and dispassionate while burning with an inner rage that she can’t quite suppress.  She conveys so much with just looks and body language, which is really a strength of a lot of the cast.  But what really stands out to me is that intellectually I understand this is the same actress who played the cheery, bright eyed college girl Felicity all those years ago but emotionally I just can’t seem to accept it.  I might know she is the same person but in my mind they have to be two different people.  And it’s not age, it’s just completely how different each character is and how differently Keri Russell plays them.  Now, I know we’re taking a 15 year gap here but it isn’t because she’s a mom in one and a college student in another, she just feels like a different human being.  Which is impressive because I watch a lot of TV and the same can’t be said for a lot of actors as they move from show to show.  So that is what I figured I would mention today.  That and the fact that she is beautiful, because she is beautiful.  And the fact that she plays a spy?  Yeah, maybe that adds a little sexiness but she is just gorgeous.  Today I want to fuck Keri Russell.

My sleep is kinda out of whack.  It has been worse but it has been better, like asleep by 8 PM, awake by 3 AM.  It could be worse, worse is when you can’t stay awake durign the day, you know, whne you’re supposed to be working.  Still, 3 AM is pretty boring and had I used my head yesterday I would have remembered yesterday that 3 AM is when new issues of Community appear online now.  Anyway, I watched this morning and the show seems to still be finding it’s footing with the whole new reality as a web series with a bunch of different cast members but there are flashes of the old show now and then.  And one of those was a bit of Britta and Annie rivalry and then I couldn’t decide who I wanted to post today, Alison Brie or Gillian Jacobs.  So I figured why decide, I want both because both are great.and so today I want to fuck Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs.

I don’t think I have talked about it here but I may have, I hurt my foot last week.  I didn’t bring it up because you know, I am super tough, I am not just going to broadcast to everyone that my foot is hurt looking for sympathy.  No, I only whine one on one with half the people I know.  You know, like a Charles Bronson character or something I mainly keep quiet and just softly whimper with every step and stick out my bottom lip.  Anyway, this became a problem today as I have been working from home except for a quick jaunt out this morning.  The problem is the Mountain Goats new album came out and my copy is sitting in the post office, which is almost 3 blocks away!  Hercules had his his 12 labors, I have mine.  So I had to decide to I wait until maybe tomorrow when I have to go out again or do I brave the slight drizzle and pain and go get my records.  Well, the album is about wrestling so I knew what I had to do, I had to adopt a classic Hulk Hogan no sell and tell my foot that shit doesn’t hurt and you can’t take me down, Brother!  Well, I did that and I got my record and I am here to say no selling is bullshit cause it hurt like a bitch.  I have no idea how that great American Hero shrugged of chairs and shit but I know he did cause I used to watch as a kid with my dad.  Anyway, this long, long post isn’t about wrestling, it’s about music.  I love music.  This is where I get to be pretentious and holier than thou but I have always felt like everyone likes music but not a lot of people love music.  For a lot of people it’s a fashion choice and more a part of your self identity than everyone else. I say this cause I spent my teens going to punk shows but I don’t think I have ever met a real punk.  As a matter of fact a whole lot of those guys were way, way into Limp Bizkit a few years later.  And that’s fine, you can do as you like, I just want to point out his makes me better than you.  Also better than you is my dear friend lunoboom who introduced me to Wolf Alice, because she is awesome and the band is awesome and here is something awesome for you to put in your ear holes. Anyway, that brings us to front person Ellie Rowsell who is also attractive and I am attracted to her because it is science fact that people who make music, especially those who make good music, are infinitely more attractive.  Science fact.  But also I just kind of want to share a cool band with you guys and very subtly mention my foot hurts so I could get sympathy that I can then deflect by saying, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it.  Cause I’m super tough and my taste in music is better than yours.  Today I want to fuck Ellie Rowsell.

So I woke up at 3 AM this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep.  So what do you do at 3 AM?  The answer is not a whole lot, there just isn’t a lot to do at 3 AM.  At least not from this end, if you’re still up there can be some fun to be had, if you’re getting up?  Less so.  So I made some hot chocolate and watched Frozen.  I couldn’t begin to tell you why these were the choices I made but they were the choices I made.  I of course have seen Frozen before because everyone in the world kind of insisted I watch Frozen when it came out.  It was quite good, I liked it a lot, and there is a lot to distinguish it from other Disney movies, even if it isn’t the first to do certain things I thought it did an excellent job of marrying a lot of elements that are uncommon in Disney movies.  I don’t really watch animated films with an eye to which girl is the hot one usually but I kind of did with Frozen because one of the things I noted about it was that every girl I knew who saw it (and was not a child I should stress, this was an adult reaction, not a 3 year old reaction) told me that Elsa was extremely sexy.  Which is odd.  I mean, I remember being like 11 years old and getting some funny feelings about Ariel but I am not sure how common this is and it isn’t like I watch Toy Story as an adult and start elbowing friends going, “Huh, huh?  Check out her.  Am I right?” But this was the near universal thing I heard about Elsa.  So I sat down and watched it and was like, “I dunno, I kind of like Anna better”.  This time though I felt like I got the Elsa thing more.  She stood out.  I am trying to put together why.  She is not the hero of the piece but she does seem to have a good deal of Agency by the end, I think people respond to that.  Especially because she starts with so little, just a girl hiding and trying to make other people happy.  I think people respond strongly to someone standing up and telling the world to go fuck itself, which is basically what she does in let It Go, which everyone in the wold loves.  But there is also a Rappacini’s daughter thing going on with her, we are a species of petulant children who definitely want what we can’t have.  So a girl we can’t touch?  Holy shit yes!  I mean, I have posted Rogue before.  But it gives some vulnerability, which I think is what our brains are really after, strength with vulnerability because being petulant children we are all about ourselves, so for someone to be truly attractive we also need to have some level of self insertion.  That’s not a sex joke but someone who is perfect isn’t appealing because how do we fit into their lives?  We need someone who is strong but, you know, if we were there, we could help them with that one little thing, that loneliness.  I think this is what people’s brains did without thinking about it during Frozen.  Or it could be the dress she made out of ice.  That’s a pretty fucking awesome dress. Anyway, rue to admit it as I am in the middle of the night, today I want to fuck Queen Elsa.

Happy Easter everyone.  I hope you guys got lots of whatever you want for Easter.  For me that’s Cadbury Creme Eggs.  I have been told they are just not for adults and my friends claim they cannot get a single one down, they are too sweet. My friends are losers, quitters, and this is why they will never amount to anything in life.  None of this has anything to do with Candice Swanepoel really.  Believe me, I tried to come up with some sort of bullshit Easter connection but I couldn’t. She’s just here because she’s hot.  I mean, I guess maybe this is the holiday really most closely tied to my blog since all our Easter traditions are tied up in ancient fertility rites and so on but it’s a stretch.  Candice is gorgeous and um… that’s it.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Anna Kendrick because oh my god Anna Kendrick.  Like, you would think that someone would settle for being amazingly talented and hilarious but no, she’s greedy, she wants it all.   A bunch of pictures of her from the UK issue of Glamour have shown up and just…look, you don’t have to look that good, it is just going to make people feel bad.  What does it leave us with, Anna?  Well sure Anna Kendrick is an amazing actress, she can sing, she might be one of the funniest people on the planet but at least… she looks so good I find it hard to concentrate?  This too a strange turn, like I am angry.  I am not, more just thinking it’s unfair for Anna Kendrick to keep doing stuff to be more desirable because she already had extremely desirable locked up.  It’s like running up the score now.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick

So I have mentioned before that I typically am not for paparazzi shots.  I mean like walking around in public ones.  Something about them is just a little creepy.  But I can’t seem to help it with Kelly Brook because she has just looked amazing recently.  And the British press sure loves to take her picture going to her car, or the store, or a meeting, or to buy booze or basically anything that require her to go outside.  And part of me is like, I really don’t like posting a bunch of these pictures, it kind of creates demand for a thing I don’t really endorse.  Then the other part of me goes, “But look, Kelly Brook looks fucking amazing”.  And then fucking amazing wins out.  I have heard it said about the French Revolution, as the Revolutionaries basically ended up doing the same things they accused the old system of doing, that when Principles meat Expediency, Expediency wins.  I guess what it boils down to here is that when Principals meet pictures of Kelly Brook looking amazing, Kelly Brook looking amazing wins.  So today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

Kate Upton hasn’t shown up here in like a million years.  Or a month and a half.  Either way it’s really long by this blog’s standards because I used to post her almost every day once upon a time. Or so it seemed.  I don’t know, as she has gotten more popular new pictures of her come out less often.  It’s a strange thing with celebrity, as you become more valuable you often seem to work less.  Or maybe need to work less.  Or maybe I am imagining it.  I don’t know, I didn’t sleep great to be honest.  The point is Kate Upton is still very hot and there were some new photos recently from her work with Express and I guess those ones from Edit Magazine.  So that’s something.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

When 2 Broke Girls was first being talked about as a show that was going to be coming around that fall for me the most exciting aspect was that I hoped it would catapult Kat Dennings to stardom mainly for selfish reasons.  First because I think she is always charming, so the more things she’s in the better it is for me cause I watch a lot of things and a lot of things are lacking charm.  Also, I was hoping it would mean more pictures of her.  Popular show usually means attractive leads end up in a lot of magazines.  I feel like that hasn’t really happened.  I mean, it has happened some but Kat Dennings doesn’t really show up that much.  It’s a shame.  Maybe it’s my fault, I don’t watch 2 Broke Girls.  Maybe if I watched the show more magazines would want to photograph her.  I am not sure how that would work but sometimes I underestimate my own powers.   Anyway, she isn’t here fro any special reason other than I find Kat Dennings attractive and she popped into my head this morning so today I want to fuck Kat Dennings.

One of the last, if not the last of Roger Ebert’s reviews I read before he died was for the horror film Mama, which stood out as being solid if not amazing but anchored by an extraordinary performance by Jessica Chastain who managed to lift everything around her.  Roger Ebert commented in the review that the film was just further proof that she was one of the finest actors of her generation.  This is basically how I feel about her because somehow everything she is in, like it or not, I am taken with her performance.  I finally watched the Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby last night, the Her/Him variety and it was… not bad, but not great either.  But Jessica Chastain was again on point.  And she is of course beautiful which is part of the reason she’s here but the truth is she is just so talented I am in awe and it’s such a major factor in my attraction to her.  She if a gift.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.