Category: Uncategorized

It’s Wednesday so that means it’s Hayley Atwell day.  Agent Carter continues to be awesome.  Peggy Carter continues to be awesome.  Hayley Atwell continues to be super awesome.  I am not even sure what else I can say about her, I post her every week.  So just look at how pretty she is and um… remember how great she is.  Unless you’ve never had the chance to experience that, then just stop what you’re doing and go watch something with her in it.  Right now.  You can get another job!  Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

So yesterday after complaining a little bit about no snow I finally got my snow!  10 inches!  I kinda knew it was coming but I had my doubts because like… we were supposed to get snow in December and it totally bitched out.  Not this time, this time it snowed and for the first time in the history of the internet when someone starts claiming something is 10 inches you can trust it!  So I am posting Alexis Ren because while I love the snow I am already kind of bitching about the cold. I live in a lovely old building but if it has a flaw it is that with radiator heat I have hot and cold spots and the cold spots are fucking cold today.  It’s 10 degrees outside.  It was below 0 last night at one point.  That’s fucking cold.  I actually found myself googling Key West earlier to read up about it.  I have never had the urge to go to Key West before but cold   So I think that’s why Alexis Ren is here.  She looks warm in these pictures.  She’s a California girl and beaches and girls in bikinis and stuff all sound very appealing at the moment.  Like I think my mind is just going that direction and I am not one to fight it.  Because she is pretty and yeah, a beach sounds nice.  I wish there was like…  away to live at the beach and get snow.  That would be sweet.  Anyway, Alexis Ren.  She’s pretty.  I mean, obviously.  Look.  So today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

I always feel a bit of pressure when I post the lovely and amiable pigeonfoo.  Basically cause I know she is going to read this.  Sure, there are other people I have posted who have read what i have written and I know they might read it if I post them and so on but I know Pigeon Foo is going to read it.  Which means I can’t really half ass it and go uh, “hey look, it’s Pigeon Foo.  Bird Joke Bird Joke, End”.  Actually, now I kind of want to erase this whole thing and just write that.  I am so tempted, maybe next time.  Anyway, I am posting Pigeon Foo cause she is… uh foobulous?  Yeah, that was terrible, if you have a better joke go start your own blog and post her on it.  No, really, I am pretty sure she’d appreciate it.  But I like Foo, if you are lucky enough to have talked to her you’ll know she’s pretty epically awesome and seriously, check out her hair in the first and third picture.  That is unreal, right?  Like that first picture?  Her hair is just amazing.  I love it!  It looks so good and even though she had long hair when I first noticed her it somehow feels the most Pigeon Foo of any hair I have ever seen.  At least to me.  That’s why I posted those pictures.  I usually have a reason for posting every picture I post.  Like the second to last one.  Well, I guess it’s obvious why I chose that one.  The snow out in the yard.  Look at it!  I love snow.  I am so jealous of the snow.  It basically hasn’t snowed here at all this year.  Very jealous of the snow in that pictures.  I am sure it’s the first thing you guys all noticed.  So there you go, a lot of words saying nothing in honor of pigeonfoo.  That’s twice I have linked her and I know I get a lot of new followers all the time, go check her tumblr out.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

It dawned on me the other day that Olivia Cooke makes me think of Kitty Pryde.  Or maybe I am attracted to her because I am attracted to Kitty Pryde.  I am not saying she should be Kitty Pryde or something but rather there is a similar element there.  I have loved comic books for a very long time and my favorite was always the X-Men.  For whatever reason the X-Men spoke to me.  Kitty Pryde has been referred to as every X-Men fan’s first girlfriend.  This is problematic in some ways but in other ways is understandable.  She was smart, kind, the only mistakes she ever made came from trying to do the right thing, she was younger than everyone else, a little socially awkward, and she was a noble super hero.  Like in teen comedies despite being pretty like every super hero or actress she never could seem to get boys attention, that always went to Illyana or later Rachel and so on.  So of course young nerds who maybe weren’t even ready to admit they liked girls would find themselves going, “I’d talk to you Kitty…"  And thus it goes, we all had a crush on her because she embodied that whole, you know, girl we knew we could get along with but was also approachable.  Anyway, I realized that Olivia Cooke is the person on Bates Motel I most often find myself attracted to and it’s because she fills a similar role for the audience.  She is good.  She is kind.  She is vulnerable, an outsider because of a slight weakness.  She doesn’t really have friends.  Boys certainly don’t give her the time of day.  Yet she is gorgeous and has those big, lovely eyes.  And you go, oh, well, everyone else may not pay attention to her… but I’d make out with her.  I’d throw her that bone.  Which of course is kind of scary and condescending, that so many of us are going, "What I want is a really desperate girl.  Someone without options who will think I am a hero”.  But it is what it is.  Or I could be over thinking it.  I know, that’s rare for me, I would never write 400 words about some girl or something here.  But maybe this time. Just once.  I do find her very attractive though and today I want to fuck Olivia Cooke.

I had no idea who I was going to post or what I was going to write today.  Usually for Valentines I try to put up something that indicates the day, I try to be a little hopeful because I know for a day about love it is really a day about heartbreak for a lot of people.  And you know, if that’s you, you should hang in there.  It’s just a day, don’t let it get to you.  This year I hadn’t really thought about it though because yesterday was Friday the 13th and I am strange enough as a person that that was a much bigger deal to me than what today is.  Anyway, the universe provided an answer in the form of Taylor Swift turning out to be an amazing person.  Signs kind of pointed that way anyway.  I saw this article about her helping out a fan on tumblr who was going through a break up.  The article points out it is good advice and it is but I would say it is crucial advise, the part where she tells the girl to block the guys number because the guy sounds like a verbally abusive dick to me and I happen to assume he was probably always a dick.  Either way it says just amazing things about Taylor that she did this.  It’s interesting, the way she has evolved in the minds of people, in my mind.  And I don’t know her, obviously, but I feel like there has to be a lot of growth as a person there on her part.  I mean, we all grow hopefully and part of it is that a 25 year old is light years more mature than a 19 year old.  But also she is someone who has taken just a shit storm of crap over the years.  I mean, being beautiful and talented is a pretty good panacea for dicks all over the internet criticizing you but it still can’t feel good to have just legions of people talking shit about you constantly.  And I know people, like personally who have had rough stretches and it kind of goes two ways.  They become bitter dicks who can’t wait to inflict their pain on the world or it gives them boundless empathy and because they know what it’s like to hurt they want to help others.  It seems like Taylor Swift has that empathy part because I follow her on tumblr and follow news about her on tumblr and since she’s joined it’s become pretty apparently how genuinely compassionate she is.  She really seems to go out of her way simply to make other people’s lives better.  And that’s awesome.  And maybe that is what this Valentine’s day should be about.  Love isn’t only romantic you know, there is a good chance your fellow man could use some love, why don’t you see what you can do.  I guess just start asking yourself what would Taylor Swift do in this situation.  Then realize you probalby can’t write a really catchy song so settle for something a little less ambitious.  But do it.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

There have been many times over the course of running this blog that Judy Greer has come close to appearing here.  This is pretty much 100% because she is a comedy all-star.  That’s not to say she isn’t pretty, she is definitely pretty but it almost doesn’t matter at all because she charms me so much by being absolutely hilarious in everything.  She is one of those performers who is so strong that you can just plug her into something and even if that something sucks the part she is in will be elevated and she will be hilarious.  Of course, you put her in something good, say Arrested Development or Archer or whatever, and it is just amazing (and yeah, I have had some discussions with a friend about the fact that her character on Archer is strangely attractive and yeah, most of that has to do with what Judy Greer infuses the character with).  So that is why she is here.  Pretty much.  I just finished her book so she’s is on my mind I guess today?  I was kind of thinking about how funny she is.  There is a lot to like so today I want to fuck Judy Greer.

I continue to watch Bates Motel and this girl popped up and I was like, whoa, that girl is hot.  I had no clue who she was but it turns out she is mainly known from the Percy Jackson movies which is a good sign because when I first posted Alexandra Daddario she was this girl I had seen in horror themed media who was basically know for being in Percy Jackson movies.  Then she blew up the internet a half a year later.  So good sign for Paloma Kwaitkowski then, right?  Well, maybe.  She’s mainly here because of the visual language of Hollywood.  It’s stuff we’re all familiar with even if we don’t think about it and I am not here to criticize it, ti is important.  A movie is only 2 hours, a TV show has more hours but they are shorter than you realize, they have to use cheats, visual cues to tell us about the character, to get us to know them without spending years with them.  So we make assumptions that would make us an asshole in real life but with TV it’s necessary.  So she shows up and she has a piercing somewhere other than her ears (her nose), shortish, choppy hair, she wears more eye make up than the other girls on the show, her hair is clearly not it’s natural color.  Your brain goes, oh shit, she’s a bad girl.  That girl is wild, she could be trouble.  Heart of gold or otherwise, that girl could be trouble.  And that is why she’s here, not because I am looking to talk about this but because I am an easily influenced idiot.  I see that and for years TV and other media have told me that girl is hot.  That bad girl, the girl you should be careful of?  She’s sexy.  That’s part of the danger.  Watch out.  And so my mind registers the part she is to play and my brain goes, “That girl is hot.  Pay attention, she’s hot.  Look at her.  Hot”.  And we end up here.  Because this has happened before.  And the truth is the actress is always pretty but often they way she normally looks I would be like, “pretty girl” and move on.  But when a TV show tells me to feel a certain way?  I feel it.  I do what I am told.  So she’s here because today I want to fuck Paloma Kwiatkowski.

I took a totally awesome lunch break today in which I ate a delicious sandwich and watched Agent Carter.  I didn’t have time to post this morning but that was ok because I kinda knew I was going to try and sneak the show in today and in doing so I was going to end up posting Hayley Atwell.  Sometimes I just know.  She is one of those people where I just kind of know it’s basically a give she’ll be showing up because I am so in crush with her and the character.  Of course, I also am in danger of running out of anything new to say.  So I will not waste any more words here, have to save some up for next week I am sure.  Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

So this week is just overwhelming me with stuff so far.  I really thought today would be more Grammys stuff or maybe something from the BAFTAs and then the Swimsuit Issue stuff came out and I thought I’d probably go that way but.. then Netflix emailed me to tell me season 2 of the Bates Motel is on Netflix now.  So I watched the first couple episodes and it was like, oh yeah, I dig this show.  And oh yeah, Nicola Peltz is very pretty.  I am getting the impression I won’t be seeing her again for a while, which is sad but I was glad to see her one last time.  I don’t really have anything deeper to say here other than today I want to fuck Nicola Peltz.

Sometimes what I do here is very, very hard.  I don’t think you know how difficult it is on a night where the Brits are giving out film awards and America is having the Grammys to choose just one girl the next morning.  It would have been hard enough to choose a winner of the Grammys.  Or the BAFTA thing.  But both?  Near impossible.  I am settling on Taylor Swift though because her dress was probably the best dress.  It was pretty great.  She looked great.  Also… she is just pretty.  I don’t have anything that complex to write because man I am burned out just from deciding.  There were quite seriously 10 people I could have posted.  Taylor won though.  She does the red carpet extremely well.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift