Category: Uncategorized

The past few days have seen some pretty phenomenal pictures of Doutzen Kroes surface.  Just recently an editorial for Vogue Netherlands hit that is her and her family and no surprise, the highly paid model’s children and husband are also remarkably photogenic.  Strange how that happens.  It is just a beautiful bit of photography (and fingers crossed there is no stupid controversy about the shot where she is breastfeeding her daughter.  We’re past that kind of thing right?  Where boobs are awesome except when we’re not sexualizing them? I hope so).  Anyway, there was those and then a Wall Street Journal shoot and both were almost completely in black and white and they were very striking so… I decided to grab some black and white pictures of her for today.  It serves her well, or maybe she serves black and white well, being as pretty as she is she can survive the high contrast and do it justice.  I don’t know, I am kind of rambling, my point is she is beautiful and so today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

Here is Kat Dennings because she was at some event last night and it was like, man, there is not enough Kat Dennings in my life.  She just doesn’t show up often enough and that’s a real shame because Kat Dennings is great.  She is pretty, she is funny, she has been the best thing about multiple things I have seen her in.  I haven’t seen her in anything in a while though.  It’s sad.  I am rambling.  She is hot, I am glad to see her, today I want to fuck Kat Dennings.

Today is one of those days where I feel like I could have posted 100 different people.  I have those days, my brain flits back and forth and it is like… well, all these people are amazing, can’t I just post all of them?  My firm answer is no, it’s a daily blog jackass.  Then I usually realize I am talking to myself and am glad I am sitting along whenever I am making these decisions.  Natalie Dormer won out and it makes a lot of sense because there is a special something about Natalie Dormer.  She does kind of stand above the crowd often and it is… well, I think it’s confidence honestly.  She projects a certain kind of confidence.  It’s not just the Han Solo smirk but that’s part of it.  You hear her talk, you see her do things and she seems like someone who has stuff figured out.  She knows something we all don’t.  That might be how the world works or it might be the secret of cold fusion.  I have no idea, she’s kind of tight lipped about it, which is also part of the appeal.  But that confidence, that’s always attractive, someone who just seems to have it together, you want to know what they know, you just want to be near them.  So that’s why Natalie Dormer is here today.  And that is why today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

I am really enjoying Agent Carter.  Actually, let me not soft peddle it, I am in love with Agent Carter.  I absolutely love the show.  Completely.  And there are lots of little reasons why but the big reason why is Hayley Atwell.  The way she manages to carry the show is just mind blowing.  I don’t even know how to describe it, there really aren’t a lot of one person shows out there, and obviously there are other cast members, but it is basically her and a supporting cast.  Even small cast shows usually have a core duo.  This is really here show and she is just… doing a hell of a job.  I have read a whole lot of Captain America over the years and the truth is Peggy Carter has long been there as a memory but has never really been much fleshed out as a characters.  You could argue she isn’t really one, she was more a plot device meant to inform two other characters and their interaction.  Right now we are seeing the rise of the character, we are seeing her defined in what will likely be the way we see her from here out and it’s all Hayley Atwell.  I feel like Marvel is so lucky to have her because she adds such depth and nuance, really the show and the character are so much richer for her presense.  I am blown away, I had no idea she was this good.  But she is.  And she is gorgeous.  So today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

Emma Watson is here because I kind of had a Harry Potter dream.  I say kind of because you can only have so accurate a dream about something your brain knows nothing about.  I know nothing about Harry Potter but in my dream everyone lived in a magic tower and they played pogs all the time and the person who won the most at pogs would become the king wizard.  Everyone spoke in what were obviously fake British accents as well.  I don’t remember a lot more than that except that since I don’t really know the character names they all went by their actor names.  By they I mean Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliff.  I think my brain totally made up the rest.  Good times.  Anyway, that had me thinking about Emma Watson this morning and she is pretty and so here she is.  I know you people love Emma Watson.  So today I want to fuck Emma Watson.

So today is my friend whole-lies-and-half-smiles birthday (well here.  She lives in the land of make believe and it’s almost over there but here in America it’s just starting, which means in places that matter it is her birthday).  I feel pretty lucky that Anna Kendrick is on my mind today because she likes Anna Kendrick a lot.  I am not sure how that works given they are both girls but I’ll make a mental note to google that later and see if the internet knows anything about women being attracted to women. I feel lucky mainly because I was worried I would have to pick a model today and whole-lies-and-half-smiles hates models.  Hates them.  If I remember correctly her father was a runway and models used to just walk all over him.  Finally one day a model killed him.  Or a bear.  I mean it might have been a bear that killed him.  Or he might not be dead.  Look, I’ll be honest, when my friends talk I don’t really pay attention, I just wait for them to stop talking so I can tell them some hilarious and awesome story and we can all agree I rule.  I rule.  That’s what today is really about, how great I am.  And Anna Kendrick.  So happy birthday to Kate and today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

I feel like most of the world must be pretty sick of the Kate Upton Game of War commercials.  I know I very quickly got tired of it popping up on my phone, to the point where I just uninstalled the app that was playing it.  I think that’s because in app ads are the worst thing ever created, so I blame Kate Upton less than I blame, you know, the world?  Technology?  Anyway, I get why people are tired of seeing it.  I do.  I just happen to be a real sucker for the costumes.  I like the costumes a lot.  So I can’t help it, new Super Bowl add and like… I like the costume.  Is armor hot?  I guess so.  I mean it must be, it’s made of fucking metal, I can only imagine how ridiculously hot that get.  I am getting off topic with lame jokes.  The point is… she looks really good and today I want to fuck Kate Upton

Here is Katy Perry for a couple reasons I guess.  First is the Super Bowl is tonight and I am looking forward to seeing what happens during the halftime show.  Less for musical reasons and more for… she seems like the type to go all out so I am interested in seeing what she might be wearing and what she might have in store.  The more important reason she is here though is that today is my dear friend Katherine’s birthday and so I want to wish her happy birthday.  How does Katy Perry fit into that?  Well… they’re both Katherines.  Kinda.  There is some spelling problems but they’re all derivative of the same original Greek name.  So it’s the same. And both of them are great.  And neither one will probably read this today cause one is at the Super Bowl and the other is hung over.  They are a lot alike.  SO there you have it, Happy Birthday Katherine.  Enjoy the Super Bowl everyone.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

Here is some Zooey Deschanel for no particular reason.  I just woke up today and my mind was wandering and it somehow ended up on her.  I really  don’t know how it got there cause I watched View to a Kill last night which you may or may not know is considered by many to be the most terrible of the Bond movies.  I wanted to rewatch it because I was like 6 when it hit theaters and so it was my first Bond movie.  My Dad took me and I thought it was great.  Further proof I had no idea what I was talking about when I was 6.  I was an idiot.  Anyway, I somehow got from there to Zooey Deschanel.  I think I was thinking about who could make the movie more ridiculous.  And that’s not a slam on Zooey Deschanel but imagine for a minute Zooey Deschanel as like… a KGB trained east German Assassin using microchips and horse steroids to destroy Silicon Valley and try to imagine taking that seriously.  Then realize I didn’t just make that plot up, that was the plot of the movie.  Maybe I am wrong, maybe evil Zooey Deschanel would make it all better.  Maybe.  I am not sure.  She sure is adorable though and i like her a lot and so today I want to fuck Zooey Deschanel.

So the past few days have brought about a fair number of very nice Candice Swanepoel pictures.  I mean, as one of the more popular models in existence for a line of mass marketed consumer lingerie she shows up a lot.  A whole lot.  She tends to look good like… oh every time.  It makes sense, it’s her job.  She’s good at it.  But sometimes she just looks outrageously good.  Like for the Valentine’s day stuff or the stuff for Mother Denim.  Just, fantstic.  And it’s that simple, beautiful woman does good work, looks great and bam, here we are.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.