Category: Uncategorized

I saw Guardians of the Galaxy yesterday and I kind of knew I’d post Karen Gillan.  Not because she was particularly sexy in the movie but because I enjoyed the movie greatly.  She acquitted herself quite well and I find I am a big fan of badass Karen Gillan.  Overall the movie was just a joy and honestly I am just happy for an excuse to talk about it.  It was fun, it was funny, it was exciting.  I give it my stamp of approval.  On top of that it doesn’t really take a lot to make me want to post Karen Gillan because she is pretty great.  She did quite well as Nebula I thought.  I doubt she’s anyone’s breakout character after watching it because she isn’t a sarcastic talking Raccoon or a legendary outlaw but she was definitely the most interesting of the villains.  And she is pretty gorgeous, even bald and blue.  I am excited for a world where Karen Gillan’s star is on the rise and today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.

Here is Taylor Swift who had a pretty strong July.  Outfit wise I mean.  I have stated before I don’t tend to post a lot of people walking down the street because in general I am not a fan.  I kinda felt like I had to here though because Taylor Swift’s outfits in July were unreal.  The thing I noticed and kind of blew my mind was multiple times it was like, “Taylor Swift leaving the gym” and I was just like, really?  I look like I am going to die when I leave the gym, whose hair is that perfect and dressed that nicely leaving the gym?  It’s ridiculous.  Anyway, she looked good, here are just some of what she wore in July and today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I think today we’re going to see a bunch of pictures of Katy Perry from Rolling Stone.  I have seen a couple lower quality ones already but I assume we’ll see more before the day is out because that’s kind of how it works.  I am not really the sort of person who keeps track of this kind of thing for an particular person but I am the sort of person who follows people who do and I can read, so I know they are coming.  It’s always kind of exciting, which is silly.  I am not sure why we are all obsessed with newness except we are.  Really, there are enough pictures of Katy Perry in existence already for any reasonable person.  But I kind of want more all the time.  Anyway, here are unrelated pictures of Katy Perry being colorful because it’s one of my favorite things about her, her pictures are often colorful and fun.  And pretty.  I dunno, I don’t have a point really besides today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

Natalie Dormer seems to have captured the imagination of a whole lot of people.  I don’t think it’s just because she’s pretty.  I say this because there are lots of pretty people so when someone invokes the sort of passion she does there is something else going on there.  I mean, the smirk is part of it.  People like Han Solo a lot, too.  I think that’s just an element of the fact that she seems cool as fuck.  I am not an expert and I haven’t researched this or anything but that is the impression I get.  When I hear other actors talk about her it’s always high praise.  She seems fun.  She seems smart.  She certainly seems confident.  I don’t know, I am dog tired and rambling and she is here because I had a dream about her.  I guess my subconscious thought she was really cool, too.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

I was talking with a friend just the other day about how some artists have bodies of work that really excite you at the start of their career but then manage to not go anywhere.  Or at least not to ever reach the heights of what you saw previously.  This isn’t actually a knock on the artists because art is hard.  More importantly you spend your entire life creating your first book/album/movie/whatever.  It’s been bouncing around forever, you have always been building to it.  Then you spend 2 years making the next one.  That Sophomore slump seems inevitable.  I also just think there is only so much in us sometimes.  Some people are truly transcendentally talented.  It is what makes them great.  Some people are just talented and you know Louis, Louis is a great song but the Kingsmen didn’t really seem to have anything else in them.  That’s ok because that’s great.  I actually see this a lot in horror and part of it is no doubt that horror is hard.  Very hard to make unique, very hard to make special.  I can list so many people whose first or second movie was just outrageously good and for a long time I was excited about what was going to come next and nothing ever really delivered.  This is a long build up to talking about seeing a movie called Lovely Molly, which is directed by Eduardo Sanchez, who directed the Blair Witch Project.  The Blair Witch Project was special to me because I grew up in the area the film makers lived in, my friend dated Eduardo’s cousin, and I saw a rough cut copy in a basement with the belief this was real and kind of wondered why the fuck we weren’t in the woods looking for those poor kids.  The movie was a cultural phenomena and man the poor people associated with it had no where to go but down.  Obviously there are worse things than having a smash hit movie but no one want to peak early.  Lovely Molly was ok.  It was not great.  It has flaws.  Which is kind of typical of all of his output since.  Still, it had things to recommend it and the thing it really had was Gretchen Lodge.  This was her first movie and she was fantastic.  See how that comes full circle?  I don’t know what the future holds for her, I haven’t seen her in anything else but I thought she was very good in what was frankly a very demanding role.  The movie didn’t fully come together and the entire thing rested on her shoulders.  She did her part.  A recovering addict in a haunted house all alone is the sort of thing that can go very, very poorly in a horror movie.  She managed to somehow bring it all together.  And she was beautiful as well.  I really was taken with her performance and today I want to fuck Gretchen Lodge.

I consider myself to be a rather clever person.  Using my innate cleverness I have determined with like 99% certainty that Doutzen Kroes is currently extremely pregnant.  Now, I’m no Batman but I think I could probably be like the world’s second greatest detective if I put a little effort in.  I have included photographic proof, so if you look really closely you might spot a picture where she looks kind of pregnant.  If you don’t see it don’t feel bad, I am an internet perv expert so I have a lot of experience at closely looking at pictures. Anyway, also using my detective skills I have come to the conclusion that Doutzen Kroes is strikingly beautiful. Again, look closely at the pictures and you’ll see I’m right.  You’re welcome for me helping you see the highly paid model in a whole new light.  As a favor to you, I won’t even require you to give me credit for this discovery.  When you’re in the bar later just casually drop it into conversation to wow your friends.  Just motion and be like, “Hey, you know that girl in her underwear in the Victoria’s Secret Catalog?  You probably never noticed but she is physically very attractive”.  Then you can just sit back and bask in the warm adoration and free drinks that come with true respect from your peers. Again, you’re welcome.  As for me, I am going to sit here and see if I can find anymore bigfoot like footage that will allow me to back up my Doutzen is pregnant theory.  Enjoy your day!  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

I finally got to see Under the Skin and Scarlett Johansson is easily in the most interesting stretch of her career ever.  I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this movie because I knew the basics of it but I also knew that the internet basically turned it into just poor quality screenshots of Scarlett Johansson naked.  I also was talking to someone last week who told me the movie was just a Species rip off where nothing happens.  I can say after having watched it this is the opinion of a deeply boring person.  This was interesting, as a lot of her work has been, because it sticks with you afterwards.  I am still uncertain how I feel about it.  As someone who watches a lot of disposable media I really appreciate this.  I mean, I watch just a ton of really, really bad movies that follow rote plots and you know I have to check my letterboxd account to see if I have seen stuff before because I certainly can’t remember it.  To me the greatest thing art can do is affect you.  So for me even if I am left wondering if a movie is good or not  the fact that I am still thinking about it later is thrilling, unpacking what it means.  At it’s core this is a deeply strange movie but much like the wonderful Her I would say it’s about isolation.  Maybe a little about loneliness.  Maybe alienation is the best word.  I enjoyed watching it, I am not sure if I think it was good or just noteworthy.  I also question the alertness of Scottish men since Scarlett Johansson just shows up in a van, picks them up, vaguely flirt and they don’t seem to bat an eye.  Cause, you know, some of this was filmed with hidden cameras and real people.  I guess that sort of thing is just common over there.  Whatever the reason I am still thinking about the movie and I am still thinking about Scarlett Johansson, who you may know I am a fan of.  A big fan.  And today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

I am glad that Lana Del Rey has a number one album.  Or had, I dunno where it is now.  I never really pay attention to those things other than to occasionally go, “That’s all you have to sell to have a #1 album now?"  Oh music industry, you can blame the internet but we know whose really to blame.  Anyway, I don’t have any sort of emotional connection with her that has me rooting for her personally, I have friends who do, who just unabashedly love her and thus in their heart of hearts want her personally to succeed (and probably to marry them.  Like I think they’d take either.  Yes, I am talking about you lunoboom). I don’t have that.  I like her fine but her music doesn’t move me in the way it moves others and I just… don’t care that much.  That said I am glad to see her succeed because one of the internet’s more obnoxious traits is when it collectively decides to shit on someone.  I mean, there are exceptions.  Like if you guys wanted to muster up your courage and start talking about how Hitler was kind of a dick you have my support.  That guy was a dick.  But most celebrities aren’t Hitler.  I don’t know Lana Del Rey or anything but I am going to go out on a limb and say, without having met her, whatever her sins may be as you perceive them, potential collagen injections, inauthenticity, being too popular, being calculated, et al., they are not as bad as Hitler.  I also just typically cannot take joy in seeing someone fail.  I have never really understood that sort of thing.  So I am glad she had some success and it has probably come at the best time because if it had happened with Born to Die she’d probably still be #1 on a bunch of hate lists.  I mean, it kind of did happen with Born to Die but the perception was that it was not successful for whatever reason.  So good for her.  I like seeing someone who is unfairly hated get the classic best revenge, succeeding.  Of course, that’s just me rambling, she’s here today because I think she’s really pretty and she has a certain something about her that can be pretty sexy sometimes.  Today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

On the scale of things I like long hair usually far outweighs short hair.  It’s just how it works for me.  I find myself much more drawn to long hair.  Men or women it’s just nice looking.  And that’s not a judgement, it’s just how my brain works.  I fully get why anyone would want shorter hair, too, because long hair is a pain in the ass.  I just also know when celebrities cut their hair short I usually find myself looking at pictures of them and feeling like something doesn’t look right.  So it’s a pretty big statement about just how amazing Karen Gillan has looked recently that I am having trouble picturing her in my mind with long hair.  Obviously I can look it up but if I try to imagine her she starts showing up with her hair short.  Which looks amazing by the way.  A+ to her stylist for making ti looks so damn full and luxurious.  She has just looked beautiful and so she’s showing up here for the second time this week because wow.  Life is pretty good right now, isn’t it?  Cause usually new pictures of her are pretty hard to come by but I have the feeling Guardians of the Galaxy is going to get us a nice steady stream of them for a week still and then this fall she has a TV show.  It’s like Kazza everywhere!  And it is fantastic.  I am happy about it because the more we all get to see of her the better off we all are.  Not just because she’s pretty but because she is so hilariously charming as well. And that accent.  And that face.  And… I really like her.  Today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.

I have noted many times before that one day I am going to have Kristen Bell’s babies.  Now, some nay sayers point out that’s not how human anatomy works or it is “medically impossible” or “this is a restraining order, Ms. Bell would like you to cease making the same joke about her you’ve been making since 2004 and could you stay at least 500 feet away”.  You know, people who are afraid to dream big.  The only reason I bring this up is because she is pregnant again which always makes me dream seem just a slight bit less likely.  A slight bit.  Anyway, she’s here today mainly because I saw the funny or die video yesterday.  If you don’t know the one it’s right here.  It was funny and it’s kind of remarkable how good she is at being Mary Poppins.  It was funny.  She is funny.  And talented.  And beautiful.  Sigh… she’s great.  And yes, I knew it was her birthday the other day.  I didn’t post her because I almost never do that.  Like my birthday sure.  Her birthday?  I’m arrogant but I’m not that arrogant.  Can you imagine that birthday card, “Happy Birthday, I’d totally give it to you.  YOU’RE WELCOME!"  Seems maybe a little presumptuous about your own attractiveness.  And this is about her attractiveness.  Which is totally high.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.