I have noted many times before that one day I am going to have Kristen Bell’s babies.  Now, some nay sayers point out that’s not how human anatomy works or it is “medically impossible” or “this is a restraining order, Ms. Bell would like you to cease making the same joke about her you’ve been making since 2004 and could you stay at least 500 feet away”.  You know, people who are afraid to dream big.  The only reason I bring this up is because she is pregnant again which always makes me dream seem just a slight bit less likely.  A slight bit.  Anyway, she’s here today mainly because I saw the funny or die video yesterday.  If you don’t know the one it’s right here.  It was funny and it’s kind of remarkable how good she is at being Mary Poppins.  It was funny.  She is funny.  And talented.  And beautiful.  Sigh… she’s great.  And yes, I knew it was her birthday the other day.  I didn’t post her because I almost never do that.  Like my birthday sure.  Her birthday?  I’m arrogant but I’m not that arrogant.  Can you imagine that birthday card, “Happy Birthday, I’d totally give it to you.  YOU’RE WELCOME!"  Seems maybe a little presumptuous about your own attractiveness.  And this is about her attractiveness.  Which is totally high.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.