Category: Uncategorized

Here is Kate Utpon because… y’know… America guys!  Fuck King George am I right?  I just threw every bit of tea I have into the bathtub.  That shit is ruined now!  What I am saying is that unless you’re some sort of Nazi or like a Barbary Pirate you should like and reblog this post.  For America.  Cause I mean, look, Kate has a flag.  An American Flag.  Now, I know a lot of you aren’t Americans but… the Nazi thing.  I mean, if we hadn’t been there that would have gone very differently.  Now I’m not saying if you don’t reblog this that someone will go back in time and Hitler wins, what I am saying is why on Earth would you even take that risk?  Why would you toy with the future of the planet like that?  Also, look at her, right?  Because I love America today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Gemma Arterton is someone I reblog a fair bit when she pops up on my dash but have never posted.  This is because usually I see her and go, “Wow, that girl is gorgeous” then I can’t think of a single thing she has been in that I have seen.  Of course, that’s not true, I did see Quantum of Solace but that feels like two lifetimes ago and I don’t remember it that well because it’s the Bond reboot movie I didn’t really like that much.  So… she’s just the girl who is beautiful that pops up on my dash and I reblog.  Because she is gorgeous.  Sometimes that’s enough, she popped up a few times tonight and I caved and so here we go, today I want to fuck Gemma Arterton.

Kat Dennings is one of those people for who my attraction for her far outstrips the number of times she has shown up here.  She is amazing.  Both in how she looks but also in how charming and funny she is.  Unfortunately, the things she’s in often are just not for me.  Unfortunately for me I guess, I don’t think it really matters one bit to her life if I watch Two Broke Girls or if she shows up here.  I mean, I could be wrong and she could check my tumblr every day with her fingers crossed that she’s shown up but I am going to go ahead and admit that’s unlikely.  So when I say unfortunate I mean for me because I would like more Kat Dennings in my life.  I guess I just have to take what I can get when it comes to my Kat Dennings levels though.  Anyway, she is here today for no particular reason besides being extremely attractive.  Today I want to fuck Kat Dennings.

It’s been a really long time since I posted Leighton Meester and the last time I pointed out that while I still had affection for her whatever had once been there had faded.  While I can’t claim she was ever #1 in my heart she was like 1A and probably #1 in my loins.  Which is a horrible way of saying I probably lusted after her the most.  I don’t know why I didn’t just say that.  Or use backspace.  Anyway, I gave my dibs on her, which was a real thing I had, to my dear friend lunoboom who thus has megadibs.  Now, I still reserve the right to post her but I acknowledge that someone else has megadibs.  Thing is, the universe has been telling me to post her.  An old friend popped back up on tumblr and our friendship started because of Leighton.  And pictures of her have popped up in the strangest places, including my Google Now screen with it telling me I might like the last picture here of her.  And now joke, as I got to the second sentence of this article Air Supply’s All Out of Love started playing and if that’s not a sign (Legihton if you’re reading this I am apparently so lost without you).  Despite the Universe’s attempts to push me towards her I am not taking my dibs back because while she is gorgeous and talented I know it is just temporary.  Despite the endless wisdom that exists in 80’s Pop Ballads I know this will pass.  More importantly taking back dibs is a douche bag move and if there is one thing I am not it is a Douche Bag.  So Izzy still has megadibs because I am not a Douche Bag but because she is great today I want to fuck Leighton Meester.

Today I am posting Lana Del Rey and it’s 100% because all these pictures of her started popping up yesterday from this photoshoot she did and she did this thing in the photoshoot that meant I had to post her.  What was that thing?  She looked amazing.  She did this thing where she looked amazing.  It seems like she’s had a pretty good week since she had the number one record, which you know, good for her, it’s so strange that she elicits so much hate (but just as much love).  I guess some artists don’t have anyone lukewarm about them, they just seem to generate a lot of devotion and a lot of repulsion.  I don’t get it.  But man is she gorgeous.  And yeah, her voice is really sexy too.  But she looked so good and that’s all it takes sometimes so today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

Here is some Kate Upton cause everyone’s life could use a little Upton in it.  Now, you might disagree with that but you’re wrong.  It’s the summer, she looks good in a bikini, enjoy your summer and enjoy the pretty blonde girl.  I don’t have a lot more to say than that cause i have had a tiring weekend so just relax in the soft embrace of Kate Upton’s beauty.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I am begining to think it is a rule if you make an indie comedy these days it has to have either Lucy Punch or Tyler Labine in it.  Or both.  I say this because in the last week or so just from random Netflix suggestions, life, and friends I have seen 4 movies with Lucy Punch in them and 4 Movies with Tyler Labine and that only totals 5 movies because they were in three together (Somebody Marry Barry, Cottage Country, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy).  That feels really bizarre, people just do not work together that often in a 2 year period.  It also feels like the universe is telling me something because other than being disappointed by the middle of the road comedies that aren’t that great my eyes were drawn to Lucy Punch every time.   I posted her once before ages ago because she was my favorite thing on Ben and Kate.  now, I realize I may be the only one looking at her in these movies and going, “Man, she’s hot” but that is my reaction.  She is also hilarious.  Also British and Blonde so maybe that’s why I am the only one having that reaction, I seem to have a thing.  Or something.  Anyway, terrible to mediocre movies or not, she always entertains me, doing the best she can with material that is not always great.  She is always funny.  I like funny.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Lucy Punch.

The other day I was trying to help my mom with a problem she was having over with her computer over the phone because moms are notoriously bad with computers.  And she was like, “The screen just flashed, did you do that?"  And obviously I didn’t because I am not a technomancer so I can’t make her screen flash through the power of my voice during a phone conversation.  But she thought I could and then suggested I just, "Get in there and fix it” because people think computers are magic but more to the real cause as human being for some reason we assume anything we can’t do must be simple.  Which is crazy stupid because if we can’t do it shouldn’t it be considered hard?  But like acting, I think everyone thinks they were born to act until they try it and realize that shit is hard.  I think it is even more pronounced with modelling because people think you just stand there and someone points a camera at you and bam, easy, right?  This is of course another stupid assumption because most of us look like awkward gargoyles in pictures.  Seriously, like 99% of the population is unphotographable.  I have some very attractive friends who look like garbage anytime a picture is taken.  It’s amazing.  Modeling takes skill most of us don’t have and i was checking and according to my computer the oldest picture of Mosh I have I saved in 2008.  So it’s been a really long time.  And it is amazing how much she’s grown as a model over the years, not just her look but the skill, how much better the photos she is in look, the way her body positions itself, the look on her face.  I can’t put it any better than that because as discussed I suck at talking about models.  It is amazing though, I am sure if you have looked you’ve seen some pictures of baby mosh out there on tumblr and just realize how different everything is and how much her work has grown.  Or you know, think about other models, it isn’t just her.  And also because I don’t really have a point here besides Mosh looks better on film than I do (which isn’t exactly a revelation) I also posted all black and white stuff because somehow I have never done that and the woman was born to appear in black and white.  Just look at her.  Anyway, she is brilliant and talented and today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

Here is Jennifer Ellison for no reason at all.  Well, I mean I guess because of boobs if we were to break it down at it’s most basic level?  I don’t know, I just know she was the desktop my computer chose this morning and it was like, yeah, ok, I can dig that.  Next thing I know I am posting Jennifer Ellison.  Cause you know, boobs mainly I guess?  I mean if I am being honest cause I haven’t seen her in a movie or anything anytime recently.  I am not British so she doesn’t like show up on TV over here.  But she’s attractive and for whatever reason I have always liked her a lot since seeing her in the Cottage (which I have discussed before, I have zero idea why that movie stuck with me like it did).  Anyway, she is pretty and she is blonde and British so today I want to fuck Jennifer Ellison.

I don’t make plans in advance as to who I would post.  I say this is to protect the purity of my vision for this blog (and I guess it is in part) but really it’s because I am way too lazy and commitment phobic to make plans for the future.  That said, there are days where it feels inevitable that I am going to post a certain person.  Usually I even wait longer in the day until I post just in case something shakes it away.  I am almost offended the universe would dictate my life to that degree.  You know, I rage against the sings and arrows of outrageous fortune, I am no puppet of God nor the whims of circumstance.  Except of course I am because I always end up posting that person.  Like yesterday I posted really early in the morning and then Emily Ratajkowski started showing up naked for GQ and I knew I would post her today.  And I was right because it seems like every third thing on my blog is a picture of gif from the shoot.  I couldn’t escape her.  Oh wait, I should correct she wasn’t naked she was nearly naked which must be an important point because I have seen people actually complain about it.  I don’t really get the difference a few flecks of dirt makes (the internet definition of naked seems to largely be nipple vs non nipple, butts do not count) but I have a very fertile and creative mind so I guess I am special.  Anyway, to frustrate and confound those who hate only near nudity and because she is so gorgeous here are a bunch of near naked pictures of Emily Ratajkowsi  Because today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.