Here is Demi Lovato on account of her being quite attractive. I would go into it more but I am like crazy tired today. Like, cane barely keep my eyes open tired. Which makes me lazy. So lazy. I had a gif I was going to add but it’s too big for tumblr’s liking. Anyway, here she is because I happen to think she is very pretty and I like how she dresses on stage and that’s about it. Today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.
Where the hell are all the pictures from the VMAs? I mean, it isn’t like there aren’t any but it sure feels sparse this year. I have theories as to why and look, another Nicki Minaj post where I complain about how hard it is to get pictures of her and, you know, not white celebrities. What a strange coincidence that is. Anyway, I didn’t get to watch the VMAs last night because I don’t get MTV and that’s probably ok because I usually don’t really enjoy the VMAs that much, it more the fall out from whatever happens that is the entertaining part. Except this time I haven’t heard about anything. If I am just too old to even hear the controversy let me know but maybe MTV is getting old. And has mellowed. Anyway, anyone who knew me can’t be surprised by who I am posting because well.. I’m predictable. I adore Nicki Minaj and happen to find her extremely attractive. I also tend to really like her red carpet looks, they are often sexy, pretty, and distinctly her. I am sure that means lots of people hate them. I don’t care. I liked the gown she wore (though I will admit, Kanye was probably best dressed). The blue was very pretty, it was elegant and sexy. Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.
So the fact that Priyanka Chopra continues to show up in our magazines in America is a good thing and I keep telling myself that this is why Quantico is an ok thing even though my skin crawls when I think about it coming back. It just was bad but bad in a way that I kinda of hate extra. Like I keep watching and part of that is because it’s the only way I get to see Priyanka Chopra regularly but my eyes keep rolling until I finally turn it off halfway through an episode and go, “That’s not how reality works. Stop it”. But then later I will finish that episode in part because pretty girl but more because I am almost hate watching. I am like, “Ok, fine, let’s see what stupid bullshit you pull out of your ass here”. And I figure that can’t be healthy. But man I find Priyanka Chopra attractive. So I guess I am ok with this strange torture device I put on my DVR once aweek if it means she successfully transitions to Hollywood. Anyway, she’s here today because there were new pictures of her from Flare magazine. I liked them. Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.
Here is Emily DiDonato because… she’s really pretty and so I wanted to post her. It’s that simple. I mean, she did some pictures for POP Magazine but those didn’t make the cut so I am not sure that actually is the reason. I mean, I like her eyes. I like the clothes she models quite often. I don’t have great reasons. It’s summer, I’m busy, and this was my whim today. Today I want to fuck Emily DiDonato.
Here is famed Russian spy and model Anastasia Scheglova. I have bemoaned the lack of pictures this month from the celebrity set in general. There have been some but it has been a mostly slow month. Which was probably a good thing for me since I was so into the Olympics anyway. But among those really putting in the effort is Anastasia Scheglova. She is very attractive but unfortunately I don’t have a single follower who is into her. I am the only one. It’s unfortunate but not a single one you likes her so no one will reblog her. I guess that means I get dibs. Today I want to fuck Anastasia Scheglova.
Here’s Doutzen Kroes, who of all the people I have seen anonymous assholes online declare too old, is my favorite. Yes, she is my favorite old woman. Which is me again harping that point but man, if you want to see women just savage other womens bodies, faces, and lif choices, go somewhere on the internet where they are discussing models. It’s pretty disgusting the number of people who have one model they like and the only way they know how to show their appreciation is to say the meanest things possible about all other women on the planet. Now, part of this is likely related to models and people whoa re obsessed with them, it’s very image conscious but I have come to realize it’s something deeper, it’s this flawed belief that life is a zero sum game. You know people who think this way, who when something good happens to someone else they are just filled with unhappiness. The idea of someone getting something they don’t have just throws them into a rage because they cannot comprehend a world where they aren’t just constantly clamoring for their own personal attention and gain and anything good that happens to someone else is a slight against them. I mean, holy fuck am I glad no one told me I was special as a child because I never think that stuff is about me. I never think anything is about me. It seems like an unhappy way to live and it is depressing to see because the real truth is you can like one girl and like… that’s it. It shouldn’t effect anything else you feel about any other girl. There is no hidden competition. There are no points and no prize at the end if you say the meanest thing about the girls you see as some sort of competition. Also, for the record, Doutzen Kroes is stunningly beautiful. That’s all. Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.
So the UK is going through some sort of heatwave from what I am picking up on internet chatter. Not news sites of course, I mean, I’m not going to trust big weather and their pro weather agenda. If they had their way we’d be lead to believe everything is weather and it’s always some “temperature” outside and clouds aren’t made of cotton balls and fairy dreams. Anyway, I saw one person complain it’s gotten as hot as 30 C during this monstrous heatwave, or as we call it here in America where I live, cooler than it’s been since May. I am tempted to make fun of Brits here but given I have British friends and quite care about some of them I’d rather not alienate them. Besides, I realize if you are under 30 and live in the UK this could actually be the first time you’ve seen the sun and your instinct might be to throw rocks at it and try to kill it. It’s scary, a world with colors other than gray. Anyway, I hope you guys find a way to cool off. I’d suggest Iced Tea but you guys love to mock Americans for that, so you know, don’t have a cool refreshing beverage during your “massive” heat wave. Pixie Lott continues to be out and about in the heat these days and I do appreciate her doing a play so I get to see what she wears every day. And yeah, I have noticed a lot of shorts, again because of the heatwave. This is great because I love the variety of outfits. So she’s here because I keep thinking about posting her because most days i get shots of her arriving and shots of her leaving. I am pro these things. Also, pun about her being hot and the heatwave. Make your own, it’s participatory. Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.
Here is the beautiful and talented Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I am, as you likely know if you’re a follower, a big fan. She was at a premier for the Hollars last night but more importantly she has been on my TV every week this Summer. That has been pretty nice. You guys can still catch up on BrainDead because it’s a really entertaining show, though, is not going to be on for much longer. It does feel like CBS is going to let it air all it’s episodes, which is nice and I guess in the end it’s a concept that might be better served by a single season anyway. It’s pretty great though, I am sad it just hasn’t clicked at all. But then, I keep forgetting to watch it until days after it airs anyway, so who am I to talk? It is good though and I love MEW, she is just beautiful and charming and I quite enjoy her acting. So today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
One of my majors in college was history and as such I know slightly more about history than a lot of people. And as a result one of my great pet peeves is the idea of “revisionist” history because it shows a complete lack of understanding as to what history is as a discipline and as a thing that exists. It has the idea of a static, congealed set of stone cold facts where things like perspective and misinformation and a million other things don’t come into play. So I roll my eyes and shake my head when I hear someone bitch about it, about revising history as new information becomes available. Obviously, you need to look at the new information, judge it’s quality, and fold it in to what you know. But then, part of the problem is historians view the information as neither good nor bad morally, it’s information (at least the good ones do). But most people view history as propaganda to prove their side right. Which is the real reason they rail against revisionist history and why I discount almost anyone’s opinion on history when they start with that. Anyway, I bring this up because Victoria looks like some bullshit revisionist history to me. Jenna Coleman has been around promoting it and it is so detached from reality I don’t know what to say. Like, I have never in my entire life wanted to sleep with Queen Victoria but now ITV is like, hey, look, you really want to sleep with Queen Victoria. Bullshit revisionist history, suddenly you make Queen Victoria gorgeous? Not cool. It’s just a subversion of history. Today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.
Friday afternoon I discovered rhythmic gymnastics (my friend @wildflagsure claims it’s her favorite event but she never mentioned it to me so probably trying to ride my coattails here. I discovered it). Yeah, I discovered it. I put a flag down and claimed it for America. I’m the Columbus of the Olympics. Obviously I knew it was a thing and I feel like I must have seen it but maybe I only saw it in like… my old roommates anime and that shit drove me to irrational anger because anime does that. Bullying makes no sense until someone is chortling at some kid getting a bloody nose because he saw panties. Then every fiber of my being wants to give swirlies until someone drowns. Anyway, I feel like I have never really watched it because I watched it and it is staggeringly beautiful. Just amazing what a human body can do, not just athletic difficulty but to move so fluidly and gracefully. I would not believe it possible had I not seen it. Now, I don’t much care for judged sports. I never trust something that requires judges and I don’t think I care for not being able to know if the judges are right or not. Other sports I watch only every 4 years, it’s pretty simple. Handball, Field Hockey, et al. if the ball goes in the goal, they scored, the team that does that more wins. I am missing many of the nuances but I don’t have to wonder who really won. I watch this and except for the time a girl dropped the ball (which I hated, she looked like she wanted to die. I hate that with judged sports, too, they require a level of perfection that makes a mistake, something much more recoverable in say, basketball or something, crushing and you get to see a person’s dreams die before you as the camera focuses on them just sitting there looking either numb or ready to die) I have no idea who was better than someone else. They were all amazing. I would have given them all 10’s, again having no idea what the highest score is, I would have just given 10’s across the board, even for the girl who dropped the ball because shit, I drop the mustard bottle making a sandwich at least once a week. Can you imagine if someone ran into my kitchen and slapped my sandwich out of my hand and told me I don’t get to eat for 4 years and then I’ll probably be too old so how about I go fuck myself? No, she gets a 10 as well. Anyway, this is only a little bit about how I want to turn medals into participation ribbons when I feel bad for people, it’s mainly about national security. Yana Kudryavtseva took the silver and given she is an absolutely beautiful Russian Olympian I have to assume she is a spy set on bringing down democracy and making us live on a steady diet of government cheese and vodka. And here’s the thing guys, I am worried about. I mean, obviously as an expert, I owned Live and Let Die and For Your Eyes Only on VHS as a kid and have seen each one like 20 times at least, I understand the advantage of say a long jumper like Darya Klishina to the spy game. I assume our secret bases are loaded with chasms with swinging blades and stuff and she has to jump across them to turn off the switch and let the other communists across to steal our freedom. I get that but it’s also very counterable, just make the chasms wider or put like spikes on the other side or something. Threat thwarted! But this stuff? I couldn’t take my eyes off the Rhythmic Gymnastics and she’s the second best in the world at it? Just give her a hula hoop and we’re doomed. She can just do her routine in front of a bunch guards and Ivan Stealavich and Natasha Communisinski can just waltz in and take whatever and we’ll never notice because we’ll just be enraptured. I can’t think of a way to counter it so probably the only option is for some amazingly charming westerner to sleep with her so she’ll see the error of her ways. It works a lot. Or after she’ll try to kill said Westerner. One of the two, either way because I am basically a hero. I am volunteering for the sake of humanity. Today I want to fuck Yana Kudryavtseva.
Who I want to Fuck Today 