Category: Uncategorized

So I knew I might post Gigi Hadid today when I saw her yesterday at the Fashion Media Awards.  Now, my friend @thunderstormofoblivion is going to protest this because for some reason she claims she has dibs here.  Which is ridiculous because I expressly remember her messaging me telling me it was my fault she was so into Gigi Hadid because I kept posting and reblogging her so much. No really a leg for her to stand on but… well, I am not greedy, I am willing to share her.  I think there is enough to go around.  And I realize that could be misread because this is the internet but get your mind out of the gutter, I just mean there is no reason why we can’t both desire her and you know, let her choose if we ever meet her.  Anyway, pictures of the event are somehow not that plentiful yet so I had to go with not a lot to choose from, so I just said fuck it and grabbed other pictures of her around New York this past week and will tell myself it’s all Fashion Week related.  She has looked good either way.  Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

So today I got a message from @femalecelebrityoftheday about Chloe Moretz.  I can’t remember what it said because he’s Scottish which means no normal human can understand his accent, even through text on tumblr.  Anyway, the point was the pictures of her at an event were good and he was right.  So here she is because I did think she looked just very good.  It’s the top picture.  I am glad because the truth is I happen to really like Chloe Moretz but man some of the stuff she wears… I am just not a fan.  So I kinda just threw a bunch of recent outfits on this post to prove me right.  I am sure someone will disagree.  People love to be wrong.  The point is she looked fantastic last night and I quite like her.  So today I want to fuck Chloe Moretz.

So Emily Ratajkowski is going to be on the cover of Glamour from the issue I posted Kate Upton stuff from yesterday.  Big issue for me I guess.  I knew this yesterday and liked the pictures, I just liked Kate’s more.  What I did not know is that Emily Ratajkowski wrote the piece that went with her pictures and so I read that this morning.  It is right here if you want it.  Honestly, it’s nothing ground breaking or new and that’s kind of sad.  Not because I think she should have done more, it’s just sad that it’s the same thing I have heard a million times before and I am pretty sure someone will comment telling her to show us her tits when they read it.  I just happen to like that she has opinion and is willing to express them.  I also like that I often agree with them but she seems thoughtful and intelligent and I respect that.  So I enjoyed reading it, I enjoyed that she wrote it, and I think she is gorgeous.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

So Kate Upton is going to be in the upcoming Galmour and she just looks fantastic in the shoot.  The only complaint I have seen at all is that she is wearing too much but you know…  she’s like half naked in a few of the pictures and it’s the October issue.  Bikinis don’t make sense there.  Anyway, because I love to tweak people here is Kate Upton wearing a lot of clothing.  I mean, I have some gifs of her in almost nothing and they are fantastic but today you don’t get that.  I don’t know why I have this urge to be obnoxious but I do.  It’s part of who I am.  It’s nice to have Kate back though.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So far when I had seen Sophie Turner’s blond hair it didn’t really do much for me.  I just didn’t like it.  I am sure there are lots of reasons for this but part of it is probably because I am a horror fan, which means deep down I have a very conservative streak and am resistant to change.  Change is scary and should be distrusted.  I also just… it never clicked when I saw it.  Until I saw her on the red carpet at the Venice Film Festival, where is looked amazing.  Just amazing. The dress was nice too but her hair was fantastic.  It turned me around on it completely.  Man, the Venice Film Festival has been magic, I hope it never ends!  I mean, I guess that would be boring for attendants because it’s only scheduled through next weekend and they’d run out of movies but it would be good for me.  Anyway, Sophie looked great so I am posting her because today I want to fuck Sophie Turner.

August was, honestly, pretty light on the picture front.  Thank god for the Olympics, cause even if you were annoyed with all the athletes I posted it gave me people to post.  A lot of days though there just wasn’t a ton going on.  Well, September is shaping up to be something different and this weekend has just been… well, now I feel bad cause there are like 5 people I wanted to post today and it was a tough decision.  Gemma Arterton won essentially because she’s strikingly beautiful.  And she has been catching my eye all week.  I wish I had more interesting things to say about her but the problem is she basically is only in movies I have no desire to see.  Byzantium was the last thing I saw with her.  And I really liked it.  She was very good.  But you know… that movie came out like 3 years ago or something.  But I am always stuck by just how good looking she is.  Just something about her takes my breath away and I guess that’s enough.  Today I want to fuck Gemma Arterton.

Here is Candice Swanepoel who is pregnant at the moment.  Like I often do, I secretly slipped in a picture of her in such a state, see if you can figure out which on it is!  It’s a fun game.  Anyway, I bring this up because not too long ago I saw her basically have to say online that if you dislike pictures of pregnant women or you think women look gross when they are pregnant you are free to unfollow her.  Which seems pretty obvious to me, that you know, you’re welcome to your opinion so if for some reason the reproductive cycle bothers you why not avoid it?  But for some reason, a lot of people’s response I guess is to leave mean comments.  Which makes sense, since all social media is opt in, you have to follow her, clearly she’s a monster for making you do that and then continue to do so?  Look, I don’t get people who seem to think the world exists to cater to their whims.  It just confuses me.  Like, what was their childhood like because mine was basically lesson after lesson that no one gives two fucks about what I want, so I am just imaging spoiled kids in short pants with giant lollipops with mothers telling them no one came to their birthday party because they’re all so jealous.  Which is reductive, they probably aren’t all losers, some of them are probably quite popular assholes.  But it makes me feel better.  Anyway, that’s a side track, Candice happens to be pregnant but she’s just here because I saw that first picture of her and was like, hey she sure is beautiful.  That’s it.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

I don’t know about the movies but on a fashion front the Venice Film Festival appears to be top notch this year.  Zoey Deutch wore that blue dress with the pink collar and honestly everything about her look was just perfect.  It had this great old Hollywood feel, just everything the sunglasses, the colors, her hair. Perfect.  It’s a good look if you can pull it off.  So… uh, I guess if you happen to have the looks, the time, and the money get on that.  Stop wearing sweats, start wearing expensive dresses and have your hair immaculately styled. That’s like the worst advice I’ve ever given, it reminds me of a time some Scarlett Johansson pictures hit and a guy I knew said, “See, why can’t women learn. Look at her, women need to stop starving themselves, guys don’t want super skinny girls”.  Which was a great point, that’s what’s keeping most people from looking like Scarlett Johansson.  The thing holding every other woman on Earth back is that they just aren’t eating enough.  Hopefully one day he’ll detail his important work about how women can finally give guys what they want in, “Eat Your Way to Looking just like Scarlett Johansson”.  Fingers crossed it’s out in time for Christmas!  Anyway, this is about Zoey Deutch, who looked great and I don’t really understand what film she was promoting.  It said Miu Miu’s Women’s Tales but I don’t know if that’s a series of shorts, an actual movie, a terrible misspelling of a high fashion brand’s attempt to market a brand new accessory to attract furries.  It’s a complete mystery.  The important thing for today is that she looked fantastic so that’s good enough for now.  Man, I love that dress. Today I want to fuck Zoey Deutch

Here is Pigeon Foo who frankly, hasn’t shown up enough recently on this blog. I dunno why.  Other people have told me they find her intimidating.  Which I full get, do you have any idea how many people she has killed with her bare hands?  No?  Me either because once you get past about a dozen or so of anything the human mind can’t really conceive of something.  It’s like you just know it’s a lot, you can’t really picture 300 M&Ms and if you see a pile of them it could be 300 or 3000, your brain just is not good at that.  Same with the wake of grieving widows left behind in Pigeon Foo’s wake.  Like, sure she killed her sensei in a duel, we know that much but what else do we know?  So I get why people are intimidated of the 5 foot tall model who I once saw declare her workout routine to be “McDonald’s and Naps”.  Obviously she could reach right through tumblr and end you.  That said, she probably wouldn’t.  I have over the years asked her a staggering number of stupid questions, including once asking her if her fighting style was Foo Fu or Pigeon Fu, when obviously it’s Pigeon Fu.  What am, an idiot?  But she was very sweet because she is.  Lethal and sweet.  Just don’t be a dick.  Anyway, here she is which sent me on a no nipple quest as I am likely the only person on the planet clicking on thumbnails and going, “Dammit, nipple”.  Some of you give me crap about my no nudity rule but I don’t know how you see it but this blog is for the children.  I teach the children.  Thus only mostly dressed models who get naked.  Anyway, here is Pigeon Foo, who can be found on her blog here @pigeonfoo and here @pigeonfooperch.  Also, most of these pictures were taken by @h-o-l-l-o-w-2-5 and that’s worth following, too, but you know, not for the children.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

I actually thought I was going to post someone else today until I got to a bunch of pictures of Barbara Palvin at the Venice Film Festival and honestly, her coming down the huge staircase in front of her hotel… well, she looked like some kind of fairy princess.  And I mean that in the best way.  I am not sure if there is a bad way but I am pretty sure if there is Tumblr would point it out.  And you know, there is that line from a song by the Coup where they say Princesses are evil, they got their money by killing people.  I am relatively certain Barbara Palvin’s money comes from modeling, the non lethal kind.  Anyway, she looked like a Disney Princess or something.  Something out of a movie, not something just at some mundane film festival.  She looked gorgeous and adorable and so I am posting her because today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.