So I almost posted Anna Kendrick yesterday despite the stars aligning to tell me to post Mary Elizabeth Winstead. This is because Anna Kendrick keeps showing up at stuff for her new movie and it means I am tempted to post her almost every day. One of the things that tempted me was watching a video of Anna Kendrick interviewing herself. It was pretty funny. She’s been funnier but it was pretty funny. Her hair is what i noticed though, it was all big in a good way. It kind of reminded me of a couple photoshoots she’s done because the whole retro big hair, cats eyes make up throwback retro thing is essentially a photoshoot every cute female celebrity has to do at some point to show her sultry side. It’s maybe not officially a law but it’s close. Then last night I started to see pictures of her for the Edit, and indeed some of them had the kind of big hair but more importantly the whole shoot felt like it was for me. So I knew who I was going to end up posting today at that point. Now it is today and I am still sure i am posting Anna. Because I love her. Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.
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I couldn’t sleep last night because my brain hates me. Or because sleep is the cousin of death and I was in a NY state of mind. Whichever. Anyway, it can be hard to fill late night hours but I filled some if it talking with @wildflagsure and then remembered late night talk shows exist. I used to watch a lot of late night in general and Late Night specifically back in the day but somehow that all fell to the wayside. But I tuned in for some Seth Meyers even though he seems like an odd choice for me, he’s older than Jimmy Fallon, isn’t it where you should be throwing a younger guy so he can do something new? I don’t know, I’m old, Conan was my guy. But anyway, Mary Elizabeth Winstead was on and that was two signs I should post her. What was the first sing, well talking to @wildflagsure, which might not seem like a sign to you but only because you have never talked to her. She’s totally bi for Mary Elizabeth Winstead. And who can blame her? Not me. She is gorgeous and charming and talented and last night was gorgeous and charming and I assume talented. She really only sat there and it was a short interview but like… she didn’t fuck up sitting there. It wasn’t a thing that required a lot of talent, so she couldn’t show off. Anyway, I kinda was waiting to see if pictures of her arriving or anything showed up online but they have not so I am just posting her now. Today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Yesterday I said my post was because of @femalecelebrityoftheday and I guess today’s is too, but only because I am a dick who likes taunting people. Liz Gillies is here because she was at the premier of the second season of her show and any excuse to post her is a good excuse in my book. I will not be watching because I have never been a big Dennis Leary fan and I feel like the show indulges all of his worst habits and as a result is just not good. @femalecelebrityoftheday will be watching though and so that’s why this post exists to taunt him. Because I too have gone down the road of watching a show I just really dislike because I like people in it. I am no doing that here which means instead I can just enjoy someone else’s suffering. So enjoy your torture, I will be interested to hear if it was worth it to see 22 minutes of Liz Gillies. I’ve decided pictures are enough for me. Today I want to fuck Elizabeth Gillies.
So here is Sophie Turner because it will make @femalecelebrityoftheday happy, and really that’s the entire point of this blog. Right? No? Well, I dunno, it will make @femalecelebrityoftheday happy but in general I saw pictures of Sophie and was like, hey, yeah, she works today. Which doesn’t sound like a ringing endorsement but it’s been a slow few days for me in the consuming media/pictures of celebrities showing up. Just one of those things so seeing her was almost a relief because it was like, well, that’s easy. Basically I want to avoid thinking. And she’s pretty. And Game of Thrones was on a couple of days ago. So… pretty redhead, that seems like a good choice. Today I want to fuck Sophie Turner.
Here is Aishwarya Rai and I don’t even know why. Like… this is the joy of summer to a degree, with there being just less of a media onslaught my brain can wander. There are big summer movies and so on but they don’t quite dominate the attention the way weekly TV does. Plus fewer awards shows and so on. So I don’t know why I was thinking about Aishwarya Rai except that I was. I remember she came up in conversation with someone, again I can’t remember with whom, about a month or so ago. I think the discussion included the phrase “most beautiful woman in the world” which was less about an opinion and more about there was a point where she was basically declared as such. Like it became her title, you couldn’t read about her without reading, “Aishwarya Rai, The Most Beautiful Woman in the World” or some such thing. Which I could never disagree with because I remember the first time I saw her was way, way back in the day on Yahoo. When Yahoo was my home page and it had news and other nonsense just sitting right there on the screen and there was a picture of Aishwarya Rai. Who was so beautiful I was like, “Who on Earth is that?” I don’t remember much more than that, it was the 90’s. It’s been a long time. But anyway, here she is and I don’t have a lot more to say other than she is gorgeous and today I want to fuck Aishwarya Rai.
It’s been more than a year since I posted Karen Gillan which is both shocking and not at all surprising. Shocking because she is gorgeous and I love her but not at all surprising because she is vastly underemployed these days. So here is Karen Gillan because the world always, always needs more Karen Gillan. We are just better for more Karen Gillan. Last night I was thinking about what a crime it is that she isn’t in more things. That she isn’t like a megawatt sitcom star or something. Selfie was good but ignored and maybe that was her chance? Hollywood is weird and can take some things as evidence of things that don’t exist, like, “Americans won’t watch a sitcom with a redhead Scottish woman”. My point though is that we are missing out because I think she is a gifted comedic actress. So I had no particular reason for posting her besides the fact that I miss Karen Gillan. And she is amazing. So today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.
I started writing about how I woke up thinking about Anna Kendrick this morning and I got a few sentences in and was feeling a lot of deja vu. And like was wracking my brains and then looked at my own blog and basically i was writing the same post I did a few days ago. Because I posted Anna Kendrick a few days ago. For the same reason because basically I woke up thinking about Anna Kendrick. I have no idea why. I was tempted to just cut and paste the last time and see if anyone noticed but… well, I’d much rather talk about me talking about myself. Anyway, she is here, I guess I must be pretty pumped for her new movie since she has fully seeped into my subconscious. Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.
Guys it is so damn hot outside. Like, I am sweating thinking about it. The day has gotten away from me and I am bushed because it was so hot out. Like, came down, stripped off and jumped in the shower because I was sweaty and gross. Sorry to get everyone all hot and bothered thinking about me naked and sweaty, just take a deep breath and think about baseball. Anyway, my soundtrack to the afternoon was Joanna Newsom’s Divers because I hadn’t really had a chance to give it a thorough listen yet even though it came out approximately 3 million years ago. It happens. I really like it, which isn’t a shock because I quite like her. She is pretty, she has a fascinating voice and is the only harpist I can name. I guess that last one isn’t really a reason to post someone but it is a fact. It is odd, the idea of like pop harp but it’s been a reality since her first record came out. Anyway, seemed like a good day to post her so today I want to fuck Joanna Newsom.
I am sorry. I know I just posted Blake Lively and some people don’t like when I repeat myself frequently (I assume @thunderstormofoblivion is livid because she gets annoyed when I post Charli XCX a lot and also her silence on Blake lately makes me assume she has decided Blake Lively is gross. You have my apologies if you are reading this Blake but the bad news is she has no interest in you ever again. Don’t try to make out with her) and Blake proved to be less than popular last time, most likely give her growing stomach which tends to make celebrities way less popular except for the small segment of people for whom said celebrity becomes way more popular. And you know who you are. And yes, I am looking right at you. Metaphorically, I don’t have a camera or anything at your desk. I can’t help it though because it’s like Gossip Girl come to life, Blake Lively looking fabulous all over New York and every blog on the internet abuzz with details about where she’s going and what she’s saying and what she thinks of sex scenes in Deadpool, and so on and so on. It’s great because I just counted and it has meant Blake Lively in 9 different dresses since Monday. That’s just fantastic. For me. For you too if you’re a person of taste and given you’re probably following this blog if you’re reading this, you must be. So good news for all of us. Except @thunderstormofoblivion who thinks girls are gross. Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.
I woke up this morning with Anna Kendrick on my mind and I don’t particularly know why. Like, there wasn’t’ a reason, she was just there. That’s usually a good reason to post someone but also it means sometimes they disappear before I get around to posting them. And that could have easily happened today cause I definitely stopped thinking about her and other things (in rough chronological order I think those things were: what’s that sound, people debates if A Man Needs a Maid can is a tender examination of deep loneliness or just misogynistic but can’t it be both things, damn I look dope, you know, I appreciate that picture is clearly to promote porn but frankly I don’t buy those heels on a stewardess, she’ll be on her feet all day, I would want flats, is that girl carrying an Upsetters record? Man, that is intimidating, I wonder if I could rationalize an all burrito diet). Luckily, when I finally got a point to stop and catch a breath there were some pictures of Anna Kendrick because she was on TV last night and is… doing stuff? Non specific stuff that is very likely related to her movie which comes out in a couple weeks. I really have my fingers crossed for that one because she and Aubrey Plaza are hilarious and the idea of them being hilarious together sounds amazing. So fingers crossed that it is. Clearly, she was meant to be here today though so today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.
















































