I watched the final Daily Show last night and it’s odd because today is one of those days where my brain is going like 12 different ways about what to write and when it’s that cluttered it ends up a mess usually.  So I will go basically no ways.  Olivia Munn was on the show because she was once a correspondent and one of the ways I was thinking of going was that.  But I won’t.  I will say that while overall being pretty is not a disadvantage you would be a fool to think that it can’t be used against someone, especially a woman in a field largely dominated by men (in this case comedy). And I will leave it at that.  She is hardly my take away from last night, she had her cameo like a million other people.  It’s just that she is pretty an sometimes I forget she exists until I don’t.  That happens wit a lot of people I am attracted to, if for some reason they are no longer in anything I consume I forget about them mostly.  Until they show up and then it’s like, oh yeah, that person is very attractive.  Which is basically what happened here.  So here we go, today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.

In the continuing series of “Things I am into but I didn’t know and this is strangely specific” today we have Pixie Lott in jean shorts.  Bonus points if she’s wearing a white top.  Now, I am not sure why this is true.  It probably helps that she is really pretty. Nice legs help.  But I would point out she is really pretty in other pictures and also she always has legs.  Always.  They are not detachable.  I googled just to make sure I am right.  Legs do not detach.  If you leg falls off you should see a doctor immediately because that is not typical leg behavior.  So I dunno why the jean shorts make a difference but they do.  It occurs to me if Nazi scientists ever need information about what strangely specific things I like to program an Armageddon-bot this blog is giving them all the information they need.  I really need to think about my life choices.  This entry is fucking strange.  Anyway, she is beautiful, I guess I like jean shorts, today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

So Katy Perry is here again and it’s because I woke up thinking about
her.  I had a dream about Katy Perry.  Interestingly enough she had her
short hair in the dream despite the fact that i would say in general it
was not my favorite look for her.  Apparently my subconscious
disagrees.  So here she is, mostly with short hair.  And yeah, ok, she
looks pretty good.  I mean, Katy Perry very rarely look bad.  And it is a
reminder that when my brain focuses on Katy I have a hard time thinking
about anyone else.  She kind of drowns it all out.  So today I want to
fuck Katy Perry. 

So Taylor Swift did a shoot for Vanity Fair.  I rather like the shoot.  I saw some negative things said by some people but man, people love to shit on stuff.  It’s because not only is it easy, it makes you feel better about yourself.  It’s also pathetic.  Just… in case you were wondering.  Like, we all know those people.  The ones who seem to hate everything and they think it makes them profound or smarter for some how figuring out that everything sucks.  But… I hate to say it, if everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re probably the asshole.  If you think everything in the world is worthless there is exactly one commonality there.  I am being hard on people.  I get it.  When I was 13 I also thought it made me edgy and cool and hid the fact that I was insecure and had no fucking clue what I was doing.  So I get it and Taylor Swift doesn’t need me to defend her.  I hope not.  I am not particularly inclined to spend a lot of time doing so.  I just find the perpetual complaining a little boring, guys.  Anyway, here is Taylor, I thought she looked good.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

Sometimes Hollywood makes a thing and you feel like maybe they very specifically made it just for you.  Lord knows it couldn’t be for anyone else.  I am a fan of Gothic horror.  I think I have made it known here that I adore Hammer Horror which was really the last great swell of Gothic horror on the screen.  I also happen to love Guillermo Del Toro, which is not surprising because if you hear him talk about stuff his interests and my interests intersect pretty heavily.  We are the same kind of nerd.  And of course, Jessica Chastain is probably my favorite working actor.  So when I heard that Crimson Peak was going to be a Gothic Horror Film directed by Guillermo Del Toro and staring Jessica Chastain I did have to wonder if it was for anyone else.  Not that those things don’t have their fans but it felt so specifically for me it feels a little bit like they are just making me a gift. But then, I feel that way about a lot of Jessica Chastain films, they always feel like a little present for me.  Of course, I haven’t seen her in anything recently but she was at comic con and she is gorgeous and… she is just great.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

Man guys, I feel like i was hit by a truck.  My head is pounding, my neck is sore, I am groggy and out of it.  Good news is I was not actually hit by a truck.  The bad news is I didn’t actually do anything fun to make this happen.  There was a fire alarm that kept going off last night and… man, I am on no sleep and apparently the sleep I got did me wrong. It’s like my head is some poor woman in an old country song cause the slights against it just keep mounting up today.  Anyway, I didn’t think I would be able to think of anyone to post today cause it’s hard on days like this. But then I saw pictures of Charli XCX at Lollapalooza and she looked pretty adorable.  It also turns out today is her birthday, so that’s convenient I suppose.  Anyway, I happen to like Charli, I like her music, I think she is incredibly attractive so… today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

Hello there August.  I want you to be aware that I am fully on to your horseshit, August. It’s still the summer and I won’t have you ruin it by trying to rush the fall here.  I mean, Christ, I walked to the grocery store this morning and it was so hot and humid out I was sweating two steps out the door.  But here you are pushing back to school and talking about fall fashions.  Fuck you, I won’t have it, ti’s still summer and you can’t take it away from us early.  I mean back to school, kids only get so much time off, let’s not ruin it.  August, leave those kids alone!  Tangentially related I started watching Wet Hot American Summer The First Day of Camp last night.  Man that’s a lot to write out, I almost just wrote Wet Hot American Summer but i am sure someone would have felt the need to mention that Lake Bell was not in Wet Hot American Summer.  I am aware.  She is in the First Day of Camp though and it is a nice addition.  Because Lake Bell is funny.  And she is gorgeous.  And she is one of the additions they made that feels like it makes a ton of sense.  She fits in with this cast and frankly had she been a bigger deal 15 years ago I am sure she would have had a place in the movie.  Anyway, I am enjoying it.  I am watching another episode right now.  So here is Lake Bell because today I want to fuck Lake Bell.

Sometimes my brain doesn’t make a lot of sense.  Why am I thinking about
Street Fighter characters?  I have no clue.  But I guess I am because I
put in the monumental effort it takes to find decent but non porn
pictures of Chun Li.  And as I am typing this I am wondering why that is
so important, that I get decent looking ones.  Because when I was a kid
and I thought Chun Li was crazy hot she looked like this. 

Which probably doesn’t really count as detailed or high definition or what most people would call hot.  Though I was hardly alone, lots of people thought she was hot when I was in Junior High.  Lonely people are what we call them.. I joke but I dunno, it always strikes me as strange but not strange.  Like on one hand it’s a little odd to be attracted to 0s and 1s and squiggles on paper but on the other hand it’s not a new thing.  It’s kind of been a thing through out human history and I understand making a connection with something you enjoy.  Or… I dunno man, I am posting Chun Li cause I had a crush on her as a kid and I still think she’s attractive sometimes.  Today I want to fuck Chun Li Xiang.

Dirt is Matter Out of Place.  This was a definition created by Mary Douglas and it basically claims that what we see as dirty is what does not belong.  We expound on the benefits of nature and being one with nature but nature is far dirtier than most people’s kitchen but no one tells you to get to the kitchen for some clean, fresh air. Clean is usually associated with positive thoughts and dirty negative.  Other than perverts there are very few people who thrill at being told something is dirty or filthy and even in their cases they wouldn’t brag about it to their moms.  And of course this means the opposite of dirty, if ti is things out of place, is things in their place.  Order is what we praise and order is what we crave.  It has been said most people are more interested in order than they are justice.  This gets back to my dirty perverts thing, we have an ingrained desire for repression because we are taught that people should repress their desires.  I am not just making this up on my own, I am basically paraphrasing Gilles Gelueze.  What all this has to do with Nicki Minaj is the minor twitter scuffle last week.  The problem with associating order with all the positive, cleanliness, godliness, purity and something being out of place with dirt, with evil, with debasement is that it enforces and order that is not always just and punishes those who buck against it.  Nicki seems to have come out on top but I have certainly heard murmurings about her whining or sour grapes or the usual, “Ugg, I am so tired of hearing about it”.  It all boils down to people don’t like her not staying in her place.  Even those who might see our social structure as injust still crave the same order as everyone else and become annoyed for reasons they don’t understand when someone bucks the order.  Those that benefit from order are often the most annoyed because they see it as an attack on them.  They are staying in their place and now you are saying you want to be in that place?  Extrapolate from that what you will.  I won’t go further because I assume I have bored everyone and I am not particularly qualified to discuss race relations and I tend to ramble.  I am glad Nicki Minaj’s point seems to have been heard if not entirely embraced.  It is why I am posting her.  Kind of.  I mean it happened a week ago but I was thinking about it.  I like her.  So she is here.  Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

I am posting late today.  Usually when this happens I couldn’t think of someone or was torn between multiple people or something.  It is inspiration driven somehow, either too much or too little.  Today i just got busy and next thing I know it’s almost time for femalecelebrityoftheday to post. Whoops.  Well, here is Alexis Ren.  I am not sure if i hadn’t gotten distracted I would have posted her this morning because I don’t think I had anyone in mind really.  But usually someone pops into my head at some point.  For some reason in the past when I have posted her I have waxed Philosophical or waxed nostalgic or… waxed something else you wax.  The moon?  Hardwood floors?  Do you wax those?  Man, I have hardwood floors, I should really look into how you take care of those.  Anyway, she’s just here because she’s pretty and today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.