the Teen Choice Awards were last night and often after events of that size I tend to pick a winner, someone I thought looked good. Now, given that Charli XCX wasn’t at the Teen Choice Awards you might think it would be difficult for me to make them about her.  Well, you thought wrong, I can make almost anything about Charli XCX at this point.  I found the Teen Choice Awards red carpet to be disappointing, a couple of interesting things but way more Oh God Whys out there.  Charli XCX was in Vegas at a party and looked quite good and so she won the Teen Choice Awards by not even being there and looking good somewhere else.  Congrats to her.  I really like her.,  This seems obvious at this point but I will state it in case it wasn’t.  Here are a bunch of pictures of her because today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

I actually haven’t seen anything with Mary Elizabeth Winstead in it since the last time I posted her (though Alex of Venice is on Netflix now so it’s likely I will in the next few days).  No, I was talking to my dear friend lunoboom about Mary Elizabeth Winstead and basically how I have heroically good taste.  Or something like that.  There was also discussion of the good taste involved in her Gillian Anderson clip reblogging; to be fair I don’t really listen to other people, I just wait for gaps in the conversation so I can tell another story about how great I am.  That was enough to have me thinking about just how great Mary Elizabeth Winstead is (while I am tagging people I should mention wildflagsure and I also have had conversations about the extreme mix of beauty and talent Mary Elizabeth Winstead possesses.  Also probably femalecelebrityoftheday and I have, too, but I can’t remember at this point.  It seems like a safe bet we have). Anyway, my basic point is that Mary Elizabeth Winstead is beautiful and next time I post her I am going to just talk about her so I don’t have to keep spelling her name and instead can use pronouns.  Today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

I really like Holly Willouhgby’s smile.  I don’t really know how to put it better than that.  It’s just that when some people smile the whole world smiles with them.  At least it feels that way.  There is something infectious about it.  I often feel that way with hers.  I guess she just looks pleasant and friendly.  I like pleasant and friendly.  She also makes me think of a dear friend of mine who is also pleasant and friendly.  So bonus points there.  I had a bad day yesterday and whined about it here.  I am having a better day today but it’s nice to have things that make you smile.  Like friends.  And Holly Willoughby. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Today has just been shitty.  Stressful, lame, angering.  And you know I am just getting home and I thought it would get better but it’s not.  It’s lame.  Of course, my favorite book as a child told me there’d be days like this, even in Australia.  So I didn’t get to post until now on account of my day.  I got home and was looking at new pictures and… there were some of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini and they made me happier.  I liked them for some reason.  And I don’t mean happier in some pervy way but you know just… I like pretty pictures.  I like pretty girls.  Maybe I like seeing people smile?  I don’t know, it just makes me realize how lucky I am because if pictures of Candice Swanepoel in a bathing suit makes me happy I have basically an endless supply.  About the only thing more convenient would be tap water.  If tap water made me happy that might be luckier.  Or not.  There is climate change.  That could make tap water harder to find than picture of Candice Swanepoel.  I guess technically the good news there is Candice Swanepoel will only get hotter? Welp, I am making dad jokes now so I am out.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

It’s a pretty good thing that Nylon released photos of Kristen
Stewart in the past couple days or so since I tend to skew towards being
a fan of her in overly complex outfits and stylings for photoshoots.  
Not that it’s a good thing because wow, everyone’s lucky I am attracted
to her, I would imagine her and most people don’t really care if I am
attracted to her.  No, it’s lucky cause it’s the only reason Emily
Ratajkowski got beaten out today.  Luckily the combination of Nylon’s
photography and Elle’s use of Leopard print beat out shiny dresses. I
don’t have a whole lot else to say about Kristen Stewart, today.  I like
her all fancy like.  Some of you just like her period and this will be
very exciting for you.  Well enjoy (I am looking at you she-goes-to-eleven​ )because today I want to fuck Kristen Stewart.

I know I just posted Emily Ratajkowski on Monday.  I am aware.  I am the one who posted her.  I am also aware some people get annoyed when I repeat myself too frequently.  Well, tough.  It’ snot my fault.  Did you see how good she has looked walking around London and shit this week?  When I saw the pictures of her at the We Are Your Friends premier I actually said wow.  Cause it was wow.  She looks amazing.  And yes, yes, shiny dress.  At least one of you will find that hilarious.  It’s not my fault that she looks amazing in an amazing dress.  Don’t hate me for having great taste.  It’s a burden I bear without complaining, so you can deal with it, too.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

This Movie Staten Island Summer showed up on Netflix under my list of movies for me.  I have to say it was a pretty dire list and I am not sure what Netflix was thinking, most of the movies it had pegged as a 1 star for me.  And usually I find the algorithm for Netflix is pretty spot on, so that means either I have watched everything good on Netflix or Netflix was fucking with me. The only movie above 1.5 stars was Staten Island Summer.  Which it thought I would give 2.5 stars. It was wrong, this movie was bad guys. Because it wasn’t just not funny, it was such a blatant rip off of Superbad they had the loud, fat, obnoxious friend just doing a straight up Jonah Hill impression.  Ashley Greene played the hot girl in the movie.  You know, the object of affection who no one really knows, she just keeps showing up and looking hot every now and then.  It was a role that suited her because if the movie got one thing right it’s that Ashley Greene is pretty hot. I haven’t posted her in forever because I haven’t seen her in anything in forever.  I hate to say it but given the quality of movies I have seen her in.. it’s probably good news for me.  But… she is really hot.  And I still am going to get around to Burying the Ex eventually.  Today I want to fuck Ashley Greene

I am going to go out on a limb here and declare that Emily Ratajkowski is very attractive.  I know it’s a radical opinion but that’s why you come here, for groundbreaking revelations.  Pretty Girls are Pretty, you heard it here first.  Anyway, she looked very good in her GQ shoot from last week and she apparently got glasses in the past few days and I thought her glasses looked great on her.  It is why I had to tell you she’s pretty though because we all know a girl with glasses is just a ponytail away from no one realizing she’s hot until she has to get really dressed up for something.  Anyway, today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

I realize I am behind the curve a little bit here but I just basically saw Katy perry in her ad for her new flagrance.  I am willing to admit that I am getting older and I just don’t keep up on perfume news like I once did.  You know, adulthood, you get busy, you have responsibilities and limited time so you just can’t spend all your time finding out what celebrity is releasing what fragrance when. I mean, I am joking, I am behind the curve but it’s a little odd to me, celebrity fragrances.  When I was young it wasn’t really a thing.  unless you’re Elizabeth Taylor you tended to get mocked if you were a celebrity selling smells.  I remember Michael Jordan getting mocked for his cologne and that guy was the Michael Jordan of Basketball, so if anyone could make basketball themed cologne it was him.  Appare3ntly now it’s almost a requirement (seriously, with the music industry cratering it’s a major revenue stream).  It’s very big money and if you want to be a player its a thing you have to do.  I am going to go ahead and say I don’t get it.  Like… if I imagine Katy Perry and her boobs shooting fireworks out of them a lot of things come to mind.  I mean… her boobs first but also the idea that the fireworks seem like overkill, everyone was already obsessed with your breasts.  You didn’t need fireworks.  Or whipped cream.  Or whatever.  My point though is all of that is there and I think lots of things about Katy perry but I have never been like, “I wish I could smell like fireworks and boobs”.  Partially because I don’t know what that smells like and in part because I am immature and really enjoying saying fireworks and boobs. All this I guess sounds like I am mocking it and I am a little but it’s also a good example of why I love Katy Perry.  There is some dedication to the concept on her part.  A costume, a magic show, perfectly tailored sets.  Its’ very her and I think she looked fantastic.  I happen to love dress up.  I loved the Katy Perry Magician look.  Enough so that I just posted a bunch of that up today.  Because she looked hot but also because I just really love the unified aesthete.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

The whole TCA thing is going on this week.  Or was.  Whatever.  It’s not really a big enough deal fro anyone to care about, it’s basically just a chance to see a bunch of celebrities dress up and attend press conferences.  I am always a little surprised that there is an association of Television Critics because I don’t remember there being a lot of TV Criticism as a kid.  Sure there was a local movie guy, he was kind, the paper reviewed a fair number of movies each week.  I don’t remember there being TV criticism.  That’s not really important though, what is important is I think Lea Michele has looked really good at all the Fox stuff.  Which is nice, I like her, though I haven’t really though about her or anything much in years.  It’s strange how that can happen.  I don’t find her unattractive.  Sometimes I find her very attractive.  But there was this brief period where she might have been my most desired celebrity.  If you’ve followed me for a while you know how this goes, a girl will show up a lot for 6 months, a year, then fall away.  It happens.  But I think afterwards there is almost an embarrassment to it.  I don’t know if it happens to anyone else but for me it’s almost like, “Oh man, how was I so into her and now I’m not?  I was wrong”.  But of course we aren’t wrong because it isn’t a matter of right and wrong.  We change, we grow, and honestly we don’t have a real relationship with celebrities, we have a relationship with the art they make and that can change a lot over time. But none of that really is important today, she;s here because I think she looked really good.  So today I want to fuck Lea Michele.