So Haute Couture Fashion Week is going on in Paris and in past years I don’t remember this getting that much attendance.  I mean, it makes sense to me just because if you are going to go look at clothes, why not look at the expensive, high end clothes you’re never, ever going to get to wear.  Or maybe that’s why celebrities haven’t been at it before, it isn’t out of reach for them.  I guess I am saying Haute Couture shows should almost be like Nascar.  They should be the fashion shows of the people.  I want popcorn and beer and people who somehow lost their shirt but wearing a mesh hat hootin’ and hollerin’.  That’s my dream of a Haute Couture show, aspirational views of fashion as art by the masses.  Or maybe that’s the opposite of the purpose of high brow art as fashion.  If the hoi plloi shows up it ruins the entire point.  Boy, this is some elitist bullshit if you ask me.  Anyway, Priyanka Chopra was at the Armani show, which is nice because she’s attractive and I can spell Armani without looking it up.  I think.  I could be wrong.  Oh well.  She looked good.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

Happy Birthday, America!  Are you feeling your age yet?  I get it, it’s been a rough couple of months in a lot of way but I am here to remind you we’re built on a couple of principles and a big one is that we’re in charge.  It’s why we told King George to shove it, because we knew a people can only be ruled through it’s own consent.  We still can only be ruled through our own consent.  It means we can reinvent ourselves whenever we want, which is why I chose Lana Del Rey.  She reinvented herself and it was pretty successful.  That’s the freedom we enjoy, and some people hold it against her but those are sad and bitter people.  Sure their voices are the loudest sometimes but they fade away if like all trolls you don’t feed them.  She pushed forward, she put in the work, she believed in herself.  It’s the same for everything.  We can be the America you want but you have to stand up for it to be so.  That doesn’t mean shutting out opposing views.  It doesn’t mean shutting them down either.  The only way to counter a bad idea is with a good idea.  We have them.  Be vocal.  Keep in mind we can be what we want to be and that King George can get bent for all we care, remember, nothing is more American than telling authority to suck it.  Happy 4th everyone.  Train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, believe in yourself.  Be a real American.  Today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

Hey guys, it’s my friend @wildflagsure birthday today and she’s had a pretty rough week leading up to it.  Her grandfather passed away and it sucks to lose a grandparent.  It’s not a fun way to spend your birthday and the truth is no one can fix it for her, it just needs time, but maybe you can send some warm wishes or sympathy or just something to remind her that she is cared for.  Because it’s her birthday and anything you can do to help it out will be good.  She is worth it. You should probably be friend with her.  She has really good taste in music, almost as good as mine, she has personally met Zeus I think, and she knows how to make drugs with her own two hands.  I mean, let’s be honest, this is a person you need at your parties.  Anyway, I know things are hard for her right now and I don’t really think of Wolf Alice as being comfort music but Ellie Rowsell is really fun to look at and listen to and I also know that @wildflagsure loves her deeply.  So she seems like a good pick for today.  Cause she’s hot and talented.  So today I want to fuck Ellie Rowsell.

Demi Lovato was playing a festival in Brazil and I thought she looked really good so here she is.  Though I saw her with a Brazilian Flag and my first thought was, well I hope she’s back in the states before Tuesday or she won’t get to see fireworks.  Which might be among the dumber things I have thought before.  I don’t think Demi Lovato’s life is lacking for fireworks.  I could be wrong but I bet if she really wanted to see fireworks she could manage somehow, even if she’s in South American for the 4th of July.  Still, if she wants to see them I hope she’s back.  Anyway, I think she is delightfully pretty and I really love her smile. And the stuff she wears on stage.  So here is Demi Lovato because today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.

Here is Lea Michele because I find Lea Michele attractive.  Hmmm, well, that’s simple.  Why haven’t I been doing this from the start? I’ve wasted all this time with words.  But really that about sums it up, she is one of those people I can’t quite explain it, I just know I find her more attractive than most people do.  I don’t have a reason but I am not dumb, I know my attraction to her seems to out strip most people’s.  We all have people like that, they just tweak something in us specifically.  She has been doing photoshoots for… I dunno, album promo or who knows what.  Her instagram is a gift typically with her bed series.  She just looks good.  I like it.  Today I want to fuck Lea Michele.

Kate Upton was in a shoot for a Magazine I am blanking on the name of and in too much of a hurry to look up so uh… it’s a big mystery.  See if you can solve it.  Think about how good you’ll feel after.  A real life detective.  I have given you the gift of self esteem today, Tumblr, don’t squander it!  Anyway, she looked really good and hey, we’re about to enter an extremely long weekend so… why not some Kate Upton to send us out.  There is nothing more American than bronzed blonde women, right?  Or is that German?  It’s all very confusing.  My point is she looked good, I happen to like her.  It’s why I have posted her more than anyone else.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So I am half way through glow and I almost posted Britt Baron yesterday but then got really excited about Kate Nash.  Now @femalecelebrityoftheday has beaten me to the punch.  What a prick.  Wait, I don’t mean that.  Sorry guys, I went to sleep and woke up and went to sleep and woke up all night.  Just like a conspiracy of the universe to make something crash or scream or whatever every 30 minutes or so.  According to my fitbit I was awake 14 times last night and restless 18 times and spend 118 minutes awake over the course of the night.  Sweet.  That’s why you’re here, right? To hear me whine? Anyway, this is Britt Baron and I thought I would post her yesterday because she is ridiculously adorable on GLOW.  She is just very good at this obsessive fan/shy punk girl thing.  It can all be hard to pull off but she is great.  Also, I am pretty sure I know what the twist in her story is but hey, I don’t want to spoil anything.  She appears to be a newcomer as her resume starts just a couple of years ago and is full of little bit parts and stuff.  She is really cute and I like her character.  I am digging sort of the underrated, low key character work that seems to constantly go on in the background of scenes in GLOW.  Today I want to fuck Britt Baron.

I started watching GLOW Last Night/In the Early Hours of The Morning Depending on Your Perspective and I quite liked the couple of episodes I saw.  I don’t think it is a life changing TV show but I think it is fun and funny and kind of grubby and prickly while ultimately being pretty feel good cause I have the feeling these lovable losers, well, it’s all going to work out for them.  I also have the feeling I will want to post a lot of cast members but they will get overlooked cause there are only so many days in a week and the episodes feel short and… I’ll be done in a couple of days.  Anyway, I was looking up who was who and one of the ones that stood out was the woman who played Rhonda.  I clicked on her name on IMDB and it looked like she had been in 100 things.  Many things I had seen but it was all listed as uncredited.  And I was like… was the an extra until now?  Who puts that on their IMDB?  And her name was Kate Nash but my brain wasn’t clicking until I saw they were all music credits.  At which point I was like, “No way, Kate Nash Kate Nash?”  I didn’t believe it and thought maybe IMDB linked to the wrong Kate Nash or something and did some checking but, yeah, it’s Kate Nash.  In my defense, this happens to me almost once a year, I see Kate Nash and go, that’s Kate Nash?  It looks nothing like Kate Nash.  She seems to look like a completely different person every year.  It’s insane.  And given I last posted her almost 5 years ago, I am willing to believe that if someone ever clicks the Kate Nash tag on my blog they might now believe the posts are about the same person.  Or that even all pictures in this post are the same person for that matter. I am glad to see her.  I knew her label had dropped her some time back because… well, she wanted to go one way and they wanted her to keep making the same song.  SO good for her.  I am glad she has a new thing.  Apparently she lives in America now, I didn’t even know.  But then I realized the last I remember was her handing out water bottles at the London Riots and… man, that’s been a long time.  It’s been a long time.  The days just blur together.  But I was excited to see her and she frankly looks great.  Like a completely different person and she might be some sort of actual literal shapeshifter but… hey, I like it.  I went and listened to Made of Bricks again.  Today I want to fuck Kate Nash.

I hope you guys like Nicki Minaj and Kelly Brook because apparently they are the only people I am ever going to post from now on.  I don’t think I have just alternated two people four days in a row before but… well, if anything it just proves how genuine the premise of this blog is.  It might not seem random but that’s just because human beings are really bad at seeing randomness. It’s just a very, very hard concept for us and when we come across true randomness we tend to see it as false randomness because we want an even distribution over a short period of time for random results.  An example being that if you flip a coin 30 times you ae actually mathematically extremely likely to land on heads 5 times in a row or tails 5 times in a row.  But if you do, most people will see that as a flaw in the coin and it being biased one way or another.  True randomness creates all sorts of clusters of things that we see as patterns rather than randomness because seeing patterns is a survival skill that has gotten us pretty far and as a result we way over do it as a species.  You might be wondering what this has to do with Nicki Minaj and the answer is probably nothing other than the fact that she’s a human and probably does it, too.  I just want to point it out, it’s an important thing to keep in mind because our desire to see patterns can hurt us and you should keep it in mind when making important decisions, financially, politically, about life, whatever.  I mean, it’s called the gamblers fallacy so definitely keep it in mind if you’re in Vegas.  You know, that’s the main point of this blog, to help you live your life.  Anyway, this blog is, of course, not entirely random, it has biases weighing it, like my personal taste, media coverage and so on.  But randomness does play a factor as well.  What I am saying is the fact that I chose Nicki Minaj again is proof that you can trust me.  If I was just trying to make this blog seem off the cuff but secretly was run by some sort of… evil corporation whose end goal I can’t fathom, well, then I wouldn’t have posted her.  But I did.  Because I have personal integrity.  Anyway, Nicki performed at the NBA awards last night and it doesn’t take very much to get me to post her.  Her performing and there being new pictures is more than enough because she is ridiculously hot.  Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

I know I just posted Kelly Brook the other day and this is really frequent for someone who hasn’t shown up in forever but she was on my mind again.  So I changed things up by posting her in her underwear.  Well, not her underwear.  I don’t think models just come to shoots with their own underwear.  Or I do.  I assuem most… no, we’ll say some, I don’t want to get locked into a definitive range here, some models at least come to shoots with their own underwear.  On their bodies.  But that isn’t what they wear in the shoot because that kind of defeats the purpose of trying to sell whatever underwear the company that hired her made.  So that’s what I mean.  Of course, now saying it’s not hers implies it’s someone else’s underwear and I don’t think that is true either.  That would be all kinds of creepy.  I mean, I assume she is the only person to wear said underwear but ownership is such a tricky question. Not legally but like… metaphysically.  What does it mean to own something, what determines who that underwear belongs to.  I guess legally would be one way to determine it but I feel like in a deeper sense it is whoever we associate it with.  And I don’t know which brands she is modeling for here.  Some of them might just be modeling for things that aren’t underwear even.  So I guess… I guess it is her underwear because if I were to discuss it I would say, “Oh, yeah, Kelly Brook’s underwear”.  I am not sure why I would be having this conversation but my basic point is I was right the first time.  These are pictures of Kelly Brook in her underwear.  Thus making this a lot of words that took us around in a  circle and accomplished nothing.  Which maybe is what I should just rename this blog.  It’s catchy. Anyway, Kelly Brook is one of those people I have been attracted to forever and if i wanted to be really reductive I could say because boobs but the truth is the world is full of boobs.  The internet even more so.  So there has to be something more and I have posted her a lot over the years, though less often recently but that’s more a factor of her just showing up less often everywhere else.  I don’t know what it is about her that clicks for me but she does.  I do have boundless affection for British women I suppose.  Though again, there are a lot of them and it’s really specific British women I am drawn to.  Look, I am not going to figure this out, I barely figured out the underwear thing.  All I know is that today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.