With Cannes going on there is a wealth of lovely gowns and lovely women to post and I could have gone a lot of ways today but I chose Blake Lively.  She has looked great and hasn’t left me with a lack of things to post but also because of the wave of crap she and Kristen Stewart are getting for working with Woody Allen.  I get it.  I kind of thought the point where he started banging his daughter as soon as she turned 18 was enough of a reason to stop supporting him.  I feel like, in general, when the best thing you can say about a relationship is, “Well, technically it’s not incest” you have something that maybe needs to be avoided.  So I get it, I think the man is at best extremely creepy and likely a predator.  I think you guys have misdirected your blame, however.  I feel like, far too often, people are very free with other people’s money and time.  The pressure for young actresses to not work with him seems like it misses a large point.  First, you greatly overstate the power of most actors when you think they have their choice of roles and the luxury of turning down things that will get them in front of eyes, possible critical respect, and a paycheck.  You greatly overstate the power of Blake Lively if you think she has the pull in Hollywood to fight Woody Allen.  I am not saying you can’t criticize her or Kristen Stewart or anyone else, knock yourself out, I just think you’re in the wrong place and seems to misperceive how this all works.  I think the people you should be more critical of are the people who continue to give Woody Allen money if you want him to stop making movies.  I think you should be more critical of the men who work with him, given men have a much larger window of fame, women are counted as “too old” very quickly by directors and fans alike.  I think mainly you should continue to criticize Woody Allen and those who fund him.  There is a whole other discussion about separating art from the artist and… I don’t like Woody Allen enough to care about that, much less go into it.  But I think you guys are wrong when you attack someone who is, like many of us, doing what they have to do to work in their given profession.  That was longer than I intended.  Let me also say I really liked her gown and I thought she looked great in red at the photocall. A+ premier for a movie I won’t see.  Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

Alison Brie is a good example of what an easily distracted idiot I am.  When I started this blog I was sooooo into Alison Brie because she was one what was perhaps my favorite TV show.  Well, that show kept getting canceled or sorta canceled and it’s been gone for like… I don’t even know how long, a long time now.  So I have posted Alison Brie two times in two years.  And it isn’t a matter of not liking her or liking her less so much as now that she’s not in front of my face once a week I just never think of her.  Which happens a lot with a lot of people.  I get easily distracted.  Well, here is the roundabout way she showed up today.  I was talking to @she about an Anna Kendrick movie and i was like, oh yeah, don’t I have a copy of that sitting around?  I did not, I had a different unsatisfying Anna Kendrick movie sitting around, Get a Job, which was not terrible so much as just stridently mediocre.  Alison Brie was in it though and looked good as she always does.  The movie was generally meh however so I decided to move on to something different and watched a movie called Manborg about a post apocalyptic future where the armies of hell take over Earth but a half man-half machine named Manborg helps defeat the forces of hell.  It was obviously robbed at the Oscars.  One of the demon girls though was hot because… evil demon henchwomen often are.  But I kept going, “man, she’s hot, she looks a little like Alison Brie”.  Eventually it was like, why not just post Alison Brie since I clearly kept thinking about her.  So here she is.  Sorry it’s been so long.  Today I want to fuck Alison Brie.

So I guess the new X-Men movie is starting to premier.  I have… mixed feelings.  You may know, if you know me or you’re just some sort of obsessive who memorizes every detail about my life, which, I doubt exists but you know, the X-Men were the great passion of my youth.  I mean, I still love the X-Men and I still read their comics but it’s much rarer for me to wish I could join the X-Men and develop mutant powers and so on.  So I am always kind of looking forward to and dreading the X-Men movies because even the good ones never quite feel right to me.  Jennifer Lawrence is a good example of that.  She is a talented actress, I happen to quite like her, and it isn’t that she’s bad as Mystique, it’s that the Mystique that has been crafted because they lucked into an Oscar winner in the role is not my Mystique.  The sad reality of the movie business.  So I hope it’s good.  I mean, I am going to see it.  But my favorite character ever and one of my first crushes ever make a reappearance in this movie, so I could end up very happy or very unhappy.  I guess we’ll see.  Jennifer Lawrence looked good at the premier though, so that’s enough for now.  Today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.

Game of Thrones was last night but I don’t think Sophie Turner was in the episode.  If she was I missed it.  But I was talking about her a lot last night and so… here she is. @femalecelebrityoftheday will be excited.  I have posted her a bunch recently which I am always worried will be boring but with her no one actually seems to mind. So instead of you’re sorry I guess you’re welcome.  You’re welcome internet.  Today I want to fuck Sophie Turner.

The Kentucky Derby is so strange because it’s this weird portal back in time to an era that frankly was pretty shitty but certain people consider the golden age.  It’s this gathering of southern Aristocracy that doesn’t really exist anymore but kind of does and drinking drinks and horse trading both literal and figurative and… well, it’s not ground I need to cover because Hunter S Thompson already did 50 years ago so lord knows the world isn’t waiting on my take.  My point is that it’s a thing that kind of annoys me but I am also kind of drawn to.  And I was going to say this post was sort of about stupid hats because that is one of the things I am drawn to but it turns out Kate Upton didn’t wear a stupid hat yesterday.  I didn’t even notice until I looked closer, I think I just assumed she did.  I actually started to doubt myself but then it tunrs out she just isn’t wearing a hat here, because it’s a Gala, obviously at the race she did.  Because of course she did, she’s a horse person.  And I am tired, so I should clarify, by horse person I don’t mean an anthropomorphic horse or like half horse (because that would be a centuar, duh) but like, she’s been around horses all of her life.  She was a championship equestrian when she was younger.  So she understands dumb hats are a requirement.  Anyway, the hat thing comes up because I always think they look dumb and I am never like, “Oh sweet, look at that hat”.  Yet I always end up looking.  So I am wondering, is that their job?  Are they there to draw our attention so we talk about how dumb the hats are while still paying complete attention to the person wearing it and ignoring anything else of substance?  And that feels like the Kentucky Derby in general.  Then I remember I am on zero sleep so I am only like half sure I am even posting this.  I am going to go take a nap.  Oh yeah, happy Mothers day I guess?  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here’s Anne Hathaway essentially because of the movie Havoc which came out in 2006 and I probably haven’t seen since… well, 2006.  Or 2007.  Whenever it ended up coming in the mail from Netflix.  Now, that might seem like a delayed post but would you believe I have a convoluted reason?  Well, I do.  So, I always just kind of liked Anne Hathaway and a girlfriend famously accused me of just liking her because it felt dirty to like the girl from the Disney movies.  I am not really self aware enough to ever judge if that was true or not but I liked her and then Havoc was like… her announcement that she wasn’t a Disney Princess anymore.  It wasn’t her announcement that she was going to be a good actress, that came later, and the movie is pretty bad but… she was lots of naked in it.  And it was hot.  Anyway, last night @she-goes-to-eleven reblogged a picture of a fully clothed Anne Hathaway from the movie and was like, “Oh my god, she’s so hot”.  I am paraphrasing but I think I got the gist.  And I messaged her and was like, “have you seen Havoc?  Cause it gets hotter than that”. She had not, I think she will now.  It started me looking for a very famous gif from the movie that I just could not find.  Not the one I wanted at least.  So I turned to @little–mouth who used to reblog that gif every 2 days like clockwork while saying something like, “Unf, look at me, I’m Hathagay” (probably not paraphrasing). And she came through, she did eventually find the right one but I was a little disappointed because she didn’t just have it at the ready.  She had to google it (I thought about posting it here but I didn’t. It’s not for children and this blog is all about children) (edit: Oh god, how did I not notice that phrasing?).  And like… that’s not the Kate I knew.  Anyway, Anne Hathaway was and is ridiculously hot and all of this had me thinking about how into her I used to be and so… today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

I just watched this week’s Quantico, which is never a good sign when I am reaching the point that I am watching shows almost a week late.  It’s a pretty good sign I am not enjoying them but feel obliged to continue.  Which is honestly what’s going on with it.  I was excited before the season, despite knowing it wasn’t my kind of thing, because it would bring in regular Priyanka Chopra.  And it has done that.  But my eyes practically roll out of my head while I watch the show.  It isn’t even that it is bad so much as that it is stupid and confuses the FBI with high school and just… I don’t need to go around trashing shows.  I still watch because I very much like Priyanka Chopra.  She is ridiculously gorgeous and I will give the show credit for that, she remains ridiculously gorgeous.  So good job?  Anyway, here she is because man she is pretty.  Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

So, I didn’t like, plan on posting Pixie Lott twice in one week.  I didn’t even wake up today going, you know what I should, do, I should get online and post the same British celebrity who is frankly almost unknown in my country twice in the same week.  I also don’t really like paparazzi shots, they seem intrusive and weird.  And yet here we are.  Because a bunch of pictures of Pixie Lott walking around showed up because that’s how England works, a photographed behind every bush and a crumpet on every table.  I assume on the second part, the first part is definitely true.  And I was looking and good lord Pixie Lott is just so pretty.  Like… it’s what I always say but I can’t help it, she is just so damn pretty.  It’s the first thing that crosses my mind anytime I see her.  So here she is, again, because today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

Here is Sophie Turner because she was in another photoshoot looking very good.  It’s been a serious trend recently that she has been knocking them out of the park.  I dunno what’s going on there but I have posted her a ton recently as a result.  And here she is again because once again, she looks great.  There isn’t really anything more to it than that.  Today I want to fuck Sophie Turner.

Today’s pick was hard.  It always is after the Met Gala because the Met Gala is like the superbowl of batshit red carpet gowns.  I was pretty excited going in because of the theme this year, the whole fusing machine and fashion I knew could be either the coolest thing I’d ever seen or a trainwreck.  And I’ll be honest, I don’t mind trainwrecks because it’s at least interesting.  I enjoy an interesting terrible dress more than a bland mediocre dress I think.  Of course, now I am just imagining a hem with a little traintrack along the hem with a model train going around it.  And puns about trains.  Anyway, indeed a lot of the dresses were kinda ugly.  There were plenty of great ones, too, which is why I took so long to post today.  It was a really tough decision.  I went with Taylor Swift because it’s kind of… I don’t know.  I am not even sure I like it but it is metallic and it sure seems like it’s trying to match the theme.  I dunno, maybe it’s the black lipstick.  I found myself drawn today towards people who were wearing maybe not entirely normal things that felt like they put the effort in.  She fit and for some reason I was drawn to her look.  I am a little torn about the new hair.  I mean, I like it but it also doesn’t feel like Taylor Swift.  It’s strange.  I am rambling, she’s my pick from the Met Gala but you know, there were lots of other possibilities so if you want to know, feel free to ask who else I liked.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.