Here is Pixie Lott because I have a thing for blonde British Girls.  Why is this a thing?  I dunno, maybe because they are so charming and desirable.  Usually I’d make a joke about the fault in logic I just committed there but I can’t remember the word because I am tired.  I have been trying to get my sleep right and somehow it’s just not working.  Stupid brain.  Well, here Pixie Lott is because she is very pretty and also blonde and British.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

Emily Ratajkowski was in DC this weekend for various things revolving around the arts and the government and it lead to a bunch of pictures, which is nice.  I am prepared to declare her officially hot.  Also, it just makes my life easy to go, oh look, a bunch of pictures, my hometown, she’s hot, done.  It was a pretty late Saturday night so taking the easy route is nice.  Declaring Emily Ratajkowski hot is pretty easy.  Job done.  Get some rest everybody.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Big, big day guys!  Today is my beloved @lunoboom birthday.  It’s really worth celebrating because, and I say this as someone who not a liar so you know it’s 100% true, she is the best.  Now, fellas, bad news is she’s not for you, among her many great traits Izzy is also as gay as the devil is hungry for souls and twice as crafty. And by gay I mean she is totally gay for making out and having relationships with girls. Which is, I believe, just called gay.  Ladies however… well, I don’t want to oversell it but this is the opportunity of a lifetime. You should really send her a birthday wish cause you never know what could happen.  Think about the story you’d have to tell your grandkids, that you met through some creepy blog on tumblr.  Then you’ll have to explain tumblr and the internet and electricity but you’ll have time because Izzy will most likely be the Queen of the post apocalyptic wasteland and very easily dispatch any marauding raiders who are there to steal your water.  She is pretty capable guys. She knows more than one language.  I can’t remember how many so I’ll say she speaks 322 languages fluently.  And she plays guitar.  Which let’s be honest, is hot. The Catholic Church has requested she pass their convents on the other side of the street because her mere presence makes nuns forget their vows.  So say happy birthday to her and cross your fingers.  Anyway, here is Holly Willoughby who as far as I know has nothing to do with Izzy.  As far as I know, you never know.  But Izzy recently told me when I was surprised she was into some girl, “Well, I have eyes and I am not dead”.  So fingers crossed her eyes didn’t fall out for her birthday and she can appreciate Holly Willoughby, who is very pretty.  I also have almost posted her a lot recently.  So here she is actually being posted instead of almost posted.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

So I finally got around to watching Hail Caesar!  It was ok.  I think people were harder on it than it deserved but it also was definitely not as good as it’s pedigree.  The Coens can do better.  The cast was great yet somehow it didn’t add up.  Which is a shame.  I still enjoyed it though, there were great moments in it because of course it was made by great film makers.  And hey, it’s an excuse to post Scarlett Johansson. She wasn’t in it much but she was lovely in it.  And again, I am happy to see her at any point. 1940’s Scarlett Johansson is among my favorite looks for her.  I mean, I sat through all of The Black Dahlia for Scarlett Johansson as a 1940’s Femme Fatale, so you’re not going to hear me complain cause this movie was just ok.  Besides, I liked the musical numbers.  Mermaid Scarlett Johansson is a good look.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Man, today got away from me.  It’s almost over.  Good news is it allowed me to not post until Ariana Grande’s pictures for Lipsy showed up so she is here.  She looked really good.  I mean, pretty girl wearing lots of pretty clothes?  I’m down.  I like Ariana Grande a lot and she hasn’t really shown up here a lot recently but that’s not her fault.  It’s mine.  Because… i dunno.  I usually can think of something funny there but… I can’t right now.  She’s really pretty and she’s adorable and she’s great.  So today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

I finally got around to seeing Deadpool.  I liked it.  I didn’t completely love it but that wasn’t so much because of any flaw as I hit Deadpool fatigue about 15 years ago.  I did appreciate as an old person that it seemed to largely be the Deadpool of my youth, you know, from Joe Kelly.  Back when Men were Men and Women were Women and the comics industry was slowly dying and at it’s creative and commercial nadir.  You know, the good old days.  Anyway, among the things I enjoyed was Negasonic Teenage Warhead who is kind of from the comics but radically different enough to not even really count.  I guess someone might be upset about this but the character has like one appearance ever in the comics so they’ll have to deal.  Sullen, detached teenage girl is an easy joke I guess but it was one I enjoyed.  She did it well.  I also thought she was pretty.  I think I like black lipstick as a thing. It’s something I’ve noticed.  No idea where that came from.  Anyway, I was like, who is this girl and looked and… well, she’s been in almost nothing so at least it isn’t a situation where I have seen someone in 30 things but never noticed.  Hopefully she shows up in other stuff soon.  Definitely hope she shows up in more X-Stuff.  Today I want to fuck Brianna Hildebrand.

Here is Chloe Bennett cause I was talking about her this morning and that’s how this works sometimes.  I mean, I think Agents of Shield is on tonight but I can’t swear by it.  I can’t even capitalize and add periods to it.  Last week’s was pretty solid though, so there is that.  I just think she is pretty and she so rarely comes up so here she is.  Today I want to fuck Chloe Bennett.

Guys, I am tired and loopy.  I slept like garbage last night.  This is my third attempt to post someone but the words weren’t coming the first few times so 4 hours and 3 girls later we’ll see if this will work.  Candice Swanepoel is pregnant and engaged and I can only assume this is her latest tactic to attract me.  This is the hard to get phase, a bit of reverse psychology.  Get married, have some kids, settle down, make me wonder what I’m missing.  It’s a long 18+ year con.  Pretty crafty, Candy.  Anyway, here are some pictures of her, I included one where she is pregnant, see if you can guess which ones.  Man, I should write clickbaity headlines for Buzzfeed for a living.  Candice Swanepoel is pregnant in one of these pictures but it’s not the one you think!  Except then it totally is.  And people share it to show their friends how stupid it is but that’s exactly what they want.  They don’t care if it’s right guys, they just want clicks, when you share links to it to show how vapid or worthless a headline it is still what they want.  It’s all a trap.  Which brings me back to Candice, who again, clearly trying to trap me.  Someone even told me the other day apparently no more catalogs are going to be mailed out?  Once again, hard to get.  Very crafty.  It’s sorta working I guess because today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

It was not the plan to post Charli XCX again so soon, well, let’s be honest, there is never a plan.  I don’t even know what I am going to say when I start typing much less who I am going to post before I decide to post.  But I wasn’t like, wow, I should spam the world with Charli XCX this week, it just sorta happened.  You can really blame @she-goes-to-eleven which proves what my grandma always said, “It’s always the Canadian with the blog full of pictures of nearly naked to naked girls that are to blame”.  It seemed odd at the time given blogs didn’t exist but is oddly prescient now.  Anyway, last night she started up a discussion about the Vroom Vroom video with me and it went on a while and using science we have decided it gets two thumbs up.  And it got me thinking about Charli XCX and I watched it again this morning and somehow that spun into me listening to more Prince and side note, still not ok about all that.  Anyway, Charli XCX looks ridiculously good in that video and so I couldn’t not post her.  I had to.  It’s basically the law.  Except for the part where it’s not the law.  But man she looks so good.  Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

I finally started watching the new season of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.  It is funny.  I am not sure if it’s quite as uproariously funny as last season but it’s been a long time, I can’t compare.  Sometimes things shift in your mind and it really is hard to compare because it’s hard to compare the current to the feeling you get when you think about the past.  Anyway, it is still funny and Ellie Kemper is a treasure.  She is so delightful and hilarious.  Just endlessly charming, I could watch her do stuff all day.  So here she is.  Today I want to fuck Ellie Kemper.