Tag: Actress

So this is where I usually have some long explanation as to why someone is here.  I don’t have one of those today.  I woke up thinking about Jennifer Lawrence.  Kinda.  I get lazy on the weekends.  Well, any day.  Alarms never wake me up, I am up way before my alarm ever go off but usually I refuse to admit it and roll over and try to force more sleep but I just fade in and out and wake up every 10 minutes and finally get up irritated at myself for not being able to sleep until my alarm.  It was during this time period Jennifer Lawrence popped into my head.  Did I have a micro dream about her?  Dunno but she was there and so she’s here because today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.

I feel like it has been a year since Victoria Justice was here.  I looked though and it turns out I was way wrong, it was just 4 months ago.  But 7 months before that.  So I was kind of right except where I was wrong.  Anyway, it happens, she appeared a lot there for a bit and now not so much… I mean she is still preternaturally photogenic, just it’s ridiculous, but I dunno, I go bored.  It’s easy to get bored if you feel no connection to someone and it isn’t like I am watching her show or anything.  It fascinates me how that happens though, how someone can really be just on your mind all the time and then poof, gone.  Think about your friends in first grade.  If you think really hard maybe you can name all of them but when was the last time you thought about some of them?  I don’t know, I’m rambling.  She is here today because she’s pretty and I guess that’s enough for now.  Today I want to fuck Victoria Justice.

For full disclosure the first time I was aware of Megan Fox was sitting in a movie theater with friends watching Transformers and my immediate reaction to seeing her duck under the hood to fix the car was, “I want to lick her stomach”.  I don’t know where that came from, I don’t recall thinking it about anyone before.  I am certain I haven’t since.  It’s not like I am into stomachs.  That’s cool if that’s your thing but I don’t want to get anyone all excited thinking this blog is going to become about stomachs.  It’s not. This blog is going to become about Jennifer’s Body today.  Just for today.  It has been on my mind for a few weeks because there are horror fans who swear it is awesome.  Especially female horror fans seem to love it.  I have heard feminist arguments about it, I have heard it is anti feminist, I have heard it is nice to just get a horror movie that “gets” women.  All of this made me think I had missed something when it came out because I just remembered it being boring.  So I asked a friend I knew must have seen it how it was.  She said it sucked.  Case closed.  But then another friend just swore it was awesome.  She told me I had to rewatch it.  Case reopened.  Well, I do what I am told and I watched it.  I mean half the point is that Megan Fox is pretty.  I thought she was pretty.  I never considered myself on the Megan Fox band wagon, I thought she was pretty, I fully got the appeal but she never rated in my top 5. Of course,  that was cool cause it meant I never hopped on the hate Megan Fox band wagon.  She is pretty in sort of a… how do I say this without being insulting, card board cut out sort of way.  Like she was designed to be pretty and little else.  At least, that’s how she was in Jennifer’s Body.  Sometimes that has it’s appeal.  Today I want to fuck Megan Fox.

I think maybe Amy Adams doesn’t show up here very often because of some sort of subtle Madonna/Whore thing.  I mean, I’m not Catholic so it isn’t something I fall victim too as much as my friends who didn’t eat meat on Friday seem to but I think we all have it sometimes.  She is such a good actress and so likeable and so pretty that… it’s just like hard to visualize her being… less classy.  Say like in bed.  With someone?  It seems strange but I think she shows up her so rarely because it becomes hard to sexualize her because she seems above that or something.  Which is completely silly and condescending.  It’s not conscious but I think that must be what happens.  Or maybe it’s some whole other thing I have no clue about.  The thing is she’s pretty amazing and I like her and today I want to fuck Amy Adams.

So Anna Kendrick is adorable.  And pretty.  I think so at least.  I am willing to bet there are people who agree, I don’t think it’s controversial.  The reason she is here though is because she is just hilarious.  If you don’t believe me try checking out her twitter feed which is pretty close to the best.  I am not ready to declare it the best because I have some pretty big fear of commitment.  My point is she is very funny and I love when she pops up in other media I consume, like last weeks Comedy Bang Bang, which I just watched.  She was of course, funny.  I mean the show is a comedy so that’s a requirement but really she’s very funny.  And very pretty.  I like her, she’s pretty impressively talented and impressively likeable.  I guess that last part is why I like her and all.  Whatever.  What I am saying is today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

I have been talking to a friend tonight and Nina Dobrev’s boobs came up.  yes, it was just a natural talk between friends.  I didn’t try to make it about her boobs, the conversation just naturally got to that point.  Really, her boobs just came up.  We started by talking about like…  Netflix original series and how they could change the TV industry.  It just naturally, as conversations of that nature are wont to do, turned into something about how much I like Nina Dobrev’s boobs.  I mean, ok, to be fair I am a fan of her in general.  She is so pretty.  But her boobs… look, I know it’s not what most people focus on but for me they’re some of my favorite boobs.  No, I don’t know why.  I just like them.  And she is so pretty.  And I love what she wears on the red carpet.  And seriously guys, look at the top gif, you can’t tell me they aren’t trying to get me to look. I mean the people making Vampire Diaries.  Not her boobs.  Though… ok, her boobs are trying to get me to look.  Or… ok, let’s stop, we know what I am really saying, I am saying today I want to fuck Nina Dobrev.

Here is Aly Michalka again because she’s very pretty.  I guess that’s the only reason.  I don’t always have really deep or meaningful reasons for posting here.  I guess I am just in the mood for Aly?  Ok, yeah, we’ll go with that.  Today I want to fuck Aly Michalka.

So I can’t really think about Leighton Meester without Blake Lively popping into my head at some point as well and visa versa.  The two are pretty inexorably linked in my mind.  I bring this up because if you just look a little bit further down my blog you’ll be able to figure out why I was thinking of Blake Lively.  She is gorgeous, so… she has that going for her.  Like Leighton I don’t think about her a lot anymore, though her career seems to have a little bit more momentum behind it at the moment.  Or I could be wrong, I’m not an expert.  I know nothing except that today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

Leighton Meester is here because… it’s my blog not yours!  Wait, that’s not a good reason and strangely adversarial.  I always hated when my parents answer was, “Because I said so”.  It was never convincing and really just made me want to do whatever way more.  Leighton is here because she’s pretty, ok?  I don’t have a really in depth reason or really anything special to say about her.  I have talked about her before and just how much I liked her once upon a time.  I did get really excited when I saw an email about Carrie Bishop not to long ago but then bam, rug yanked out from under me, she’s been recast.  That was disappointing because I got really excited, which I think means I am craving more Leighton in my life.  So I guess that’s why she’s here, to sate a craving.  You know what, I don’t know why she’s here, if you read this far I am sorry, I am horrible at this today.  So you know… today I want to fuck Leighton Meester.

Here is Debby Ryan.  Again.  After just a week.  When I told you I hadn’t really found her attractive before last week.  See, my brain does this.  It can’t be entirely stunning that someone who never misses a day of posting and keeps a catalog of objects of lust would be a little obsessive.  I am totally though.  Like I will really like burritos one week and eat burritos every day.  Like, eat out and get a burrito, make my own burritos, hunt down the best little burrito place in the city.  Every day burritos and then man, I am sick of burritos you know?  Suddenly it’s all about like, stuffed peppers.  These aren’t metaphors or anything, this is real, I am not talking about like, a sexual burrito and I am not about to offer to stuff Debby Ryan’s pepper.  Mainly cause I don’t even know what that means and I don’t want to commit to some sort of strange sex act.  So she could be this week’s burrito.  Or she could be just a brand new staple, like oatmeal.  I eat a lot of oatmeal.  Again, oatmeal is not a stand in for anything, I just think it is delicious and filling and easy to make.  So I don’t know which she is, I just know I am finding her more attractive the more I think about it.  I am just afraid now I am going to start associating her with food and that could lead down some strange roads so enough for that nonsense, I am just going to wrap this up.  Today I want to fuck Debby Ryan.