Tag: Actress

I am sunburned and I don’t think I am being overly dramatic when I say it’s pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone ever.  It is a pretty new experience for me, like I know it has happened before and I remember thinking it was terrible then, too, but in general I am not a person who burns easily at all.  So I don’t know what happened here, I even put on sunscreen because as I get older I skew more to being a “might as well be safe” sort of person and away from my younger, “I’m not a pussy, no thanks” sort of person.  Apparently that 50 SPF was bullshit though because usually when I am buttoning up whatever I am wearing on the top half of my body it doesn’t cause me tremendous pain.  Anyway, red is not really my color but I am stuck with it for a few days and it’s hard to sit around thinking about what celebrity is the most desirable at the moment when I am in what I can say, again without being overly dramatic, is the worst pain any human has ever felt before.  Luckily, I think Aubrey Plaza would sort of get me in this situation.  She just seems like a person who would be able to commiserate that the sun is indeed bullshit and we live in a cruel, cruel universe where the very star that gives us life also apparently hates us and wants to torture us.  The sun is an asshole is what I am saying and I feel like she’d agree.  And even if she didn’t she’d be funny and I think I’d enjoy that.  My basic point is that the sun is a lousy son of a bitch but Aubrey Plaza is beautiful and hilarious and pretty great.  So today I want to fuck Aubrey Plaza.

I saw the latest X-Men again last night and I came to realize that I miss long haired Jennifer Lawrence.  There, I said it.  I hate the short hair.  Now, it’s her hair, she can do as she wishes but it’s my libido, it can do as it wishes, too, and it is not digging the short hair.  It doesn’t even really make sense because everything else is the same.  But man… short hair I don’t care.  Old long hair picture of her pops up and it’s like, “Oh yeah, that girl is hot”.  So… apparently the hair is really getting to me.  So here are pictures of her with hair because I miss those.  And I find her attractive in those.  Today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.

So I guess Nina Dobrev won the Teen Choice Awards.  I say guess because I am fully willing to admit that Taylor Swift’s dress was better but the truth is sometimes Nina Dobrev does this thing where there is a picture of her and I just go wow and kind of stare.   That happened when I saw her on the whatever color carpet they use at those awards.  I don’t know, I’m not  a teen.  I just know they give people surfboards as prizes and that’s cute but you know everyone must secretly hate it because carrying around like a fake bucket of popcorn or something is one thing but an entire surfboard?  How unwieldy is that shit?  What are you going to put a surfboard on a shelf in your house?  I can tell you, you aren’t.  Anyway, that’s not the point, the point is that Nina Dobrev is god damned beautiful and so here are a bunch of pictures of her being beautiful, including at the Teen Choice Awards where she was all sparkly and pink and blue but mainly her face was gorgeous.  She gives good face.  Today I want to fuck Nina Dobrev.

Doctor Who is rapidly close to returning and this is very exciting because I love Doctor Who.  Also exciting is all these new pictures of Jenna Coleman that keep showing up on account of her being a pretty key part of the show.  She looks lovely of course because she is just so pretty.  Like that is basically my first thought whenever I see a picture of her smiling or her hair blowing in the wind, “Wow she’s pretty”.  So that’s why she’s here today but also because in one picture there is a Tardis on top of a castle which is basically how I imagine England.  Everyone lives in castles and fights dragons and listens to the Beatles and calls their castle apartment a flat and they take lifts instead of elevators and eat something called bangers and mash which doesn’t actually sound any less dirty once they explain it’s sausages.  Anyway, here she is because she is very pretty and today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.

So it turns out today is Anna Kendrick’s birthday, which uh, good for her?  I mean, birthdays are cool and all but at their core it’s deeply silly to celebrate the fact that you didn’t die for an entire year.  It’s not really that hard.  Except it’s not really about that, really, at our core we like to express how happy we are someone exists.  Or you know, we’re narcissists who insist other people express that.  We all have that friend, right, the one who mentions their birthday is coming up for like 2 fucking months and then organizes some big thing and then acts touched like I can’t believe you guys are all here for me!  And it’s like, well, you invited us.  There’s going to be cake.  Let’s not act like someone’s giving you the medal of freedom, you invited people into a situation that would involve free cake (I mean people just go apeshit when free cake is brought up.  Seriously, ask any Bourbon, people lose their heads over free cake), it isn’t quite like getting 300 men to defend a small pass against thousands of Persians or anything.  But you know, good for you.  Anyway, my basic point is that I normally don’t even notice this sort of thing or particularly care.  This blog isn’t really about celebrating birthdays, I mean, that would be a pretty great tumblr so go make who I want to sing Happy Birthday to Today and I’ll follow you but that’s not this one.  But Anna Kendrick has shown up on my dash a fair bit because other people are noting her birthday and I get it because she is pretty great.  Like I get the crushworthyness.  I get why you want to celebrate her existence because she is smart and funny and just seems awesome.  I too want to celebrate her existence and wish her happy birthday.  Also today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

So a couple of weeks ago my dear friend femalecelebrityoftheday posted Katharine Isabelle and I was really excited because I love Katharine Isabelle.  I have mentioned before that she was posted and I mentioned it because I was excited then.  This is because certain artists you just get excited to see because it is so rare.  Well, because you enjoy their work and it’s so rare.  Most of you don’t know who she is most likely but those of you who do have probably purposefully sought out posts about her.  Now, I would imagine most people would rather be praised and famous but it’s still nice to have dedicated fans as opposed to just luke warm recognition.  I think.  I mean I don’t actually know, I don’t have either.  Anyway, I was talking to slashersthrillersandgoreohmy (who if you like horror and I assume if you have read this far in a post about Katharine Isabelle you must like horror, you should really check out her blog, it’s wonderful) yesterday and it got me thinking about horror and how much I like it and that lead to thinking about Katharine Isabelle and… here we are.  She has a couple of much-anticipated-in-certain-circles movies coming out soon.  Or maybe Torment is already out?  I don’t know.  I am really looking forward to See No Evil 2 despite the fact that I have no reason to think it will be any good based on the first one.  I really like her though and it’s nice to see her and she is a good cut above a lot of actresses that are in the movies I watch and well, she’s great.  Today I want to fuck Katharine Isabelle..

Here is Barbara Palvin because she is very pretty.  I know I often will elaborate or talk about something unrelated but you know, she’s just here today because she’s very pretty.  Very, very pretty.  I like her.  You should to.  Or not.  Whatever.  I’m not here to tell you what to do, man.  It’s your right to be terribly wrong.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

I saw Guardians of the Galaxy yesterday and I kind of knew I’d post Karen Gillan.  Not because she was particularly sexy in the movie but because I enjoyed the movie greatly.  She acquitted herself quite well and I find I am a big fan of badass Karen Gillan.  Overall the movie was just a joy and honestly I am just happy for an excuse to talk about it.  It was fun, it was funny, it was exciting.  I give it my stamp of approval.  On top of that it doesn’t really take a lot to make me want to post Karen Gillan because she is pretty great.  She did quite well as Nebula I thought.  I doubt she’s anyone’s breakout character after watching it because she isn’t a sarcastic talking Raccoon or a legendary outlaw but she was definitely the most interesting of the villains.  And she is pretty gorgeous, even bald and blue.  I am excited for a world where Karen Gillan’s star is on the rise and today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.

Natalie Dormer seems to have captured the imagination of a whole lot of people.  I don’t think it’s just because she’s pretty.  I say this because there are lots of pretty people so when someone invokes the sort of passion she does there is something else going on there.  I mean, the smirk is part of it.  People like Han Solo a lot, too.  I think that’s just an element of the fact that she seems cool as fuck.  I am not an expert and I haven’t researched this or anything but that is the impression I get.  When I hear other actors talk about her it’s always high praise.  She seems fun.  She seems smart.  She certainly seems confident.  I don’t know, I am dog tired and rambling and she is here because I had a dream about her.  I guess my subconscious thought she was really cool, too.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

I was talking with a friend just the other day about how some artists have bodies of work that really excite you at the start of their career but then manage to not go anywhere.  Or at least not to ever reach the heights of what you saw previously.  This isn’t actually a knock on the artists because art is hard.  More importantly you spend your entire life creating your first book/album/movie/whatever.  It’s been bouncing around forever, you have always been building to it.  Then you spend 2 years making the next one.  That Sophomore slump seems inevitable.  I also just think there is only so much in us sometimes.  Some people are truly transcendentally talented.  It is what makes them great.  Some people are just talented and you know Louis, Louis is a great song but the Kingsmen didn’t really seem to have anything else in them.  That’s ok because that’s great.  I actually see this a lot in horror and part of it is no doubt that horror is hard.  Very hard to make unique, very hard to make special.  I can list so many people whose first or second movie was just outrageously good and for a long time I was excited about what was going to come next and nothing ever really delivered.  This is a long build up to talking about seeing a movie called Lovely Molly, which is directed by Eduardo Sanchez, who directed the Blair Witch Project.  The Blair Witch Project was special to me because I grew up in the area the film makers lived in, my friend dated Eduardo’s cousin, and I saw a rough cut copy in a basement with the belief this was real and kind of wondered why the fuck we weren’t in the woods looking for those poor kids.  The movie was a cultural phenomena and man the poor people associated with it had no where to go but down.  Obviously there are worse things than having a smash hit movie but no one want to peak early.  Lovely Molly was ok.  It was not great.  It has flaws.  Which is kind of typical of all of his output since.  Still, it had things to recommend it and the thing it really had was Gretchen Lodge.  This was her first movie and she was fantastic.  See how that comes full circle?  I don’t know what the future holds for her, I haven’t seen her in anything else but I thought she was very good in what was frankly a very demanding role.  The movie didn’t fully come together and the entire thing rested on her shoulders.  She did her part.  A recovering addict in a haunted house all alone is the sort of thing that can go very, very poorly in a horror movie.  She managed to somehow bring it all together.  And she was beautiful as well.  I really was taken with her performance and today I want to fuck Gretchen Lodge.