I had to go double check to see if I had posted Ashley Benson before because she seems like someone I could have posted. I haven’t though. Both would have made sense to me, she seems to be one of those people I just know the name of and who she is almost by osmosis. I guess Pretty Little Liars started and soon I knew all the stars names and what they looked like. I don’t know why exactly because I have never watched the show, it just became one of those things i knew. Maybe it’s because they are popular on tumblr so of course they kept popping up. I had to look if i had ever seen anything with her in it before. The answer was mostly no, an episode of Supernatural, How I Met Your Mother, and oh yeah, I saw Spring Breakers. Of course, no one got posted from Spring Breakers because I found the movie aggressively unsexy. I guess girls in bikinis was sexy no matter what for some people. Anyway, I am not going to get into all of that, she has shown up a lot on my dash in the past month and I guess I was finally worn down because that shoot she did for Complex was on my mind and… well, today I want to fuck Ashley Benson.
Tag: Actress
Gemma Arterton is someone I reblog a fair bit when she pops up on my dash but have never posted. This is because usually I see her and go, “Wow, that girl is gorgeous” then I can’t think of a single thing she has been in that I have seen. Of course, that’s not true, I did see Quantum of Solace but that feels like two lifetimes ago and I don’t remember it that well because it’s the Bond reboot movie I didn’t really like that much. So… she’s just the girl who is beautiful that pops up on my dash and I reblog. Because she is gorgeous. Sometimes that’s enough, she popped up a few times tonight and I caved and so here we go, today I want to fuck Gemma Arterton.
Kat Dennings is one of those people for who my attraction for her far outstrips the number of times she has shown up here. She is amazing. Both in how she looks but also in how charming and funny she is. Unfortunately, the things she’s in often are just not for me. Unfortunately for me I guess, I don’t think it really matters one bit to her life if I watch Two Broke Girls or if she shows up here. I mean, I could be wrong and she could check my tumblr every day with her fingers crossed that she’s shown up but I am going to go ahead and admit that’s unlikely. So when I say unfortunate I mean for me because I would like more Kat Dennings in my life. I guess I just have to take what I can get when it comes to my Kat Dennings levels though. Anyway, she is here today for no particular reason besides being extremely attractive. Today I want to fuck Kat Dennings.
It’s been a really long time since I posted Leighton Meester and the last time I pointed out that while I still had affection for her whatever had once been there had faded. While I can’t claim she was ever #1 in my heart she was like 1A and probably #1 in my loins. Which is a horrible way of saying I probably lusted after her the most. I don’t know why I didn’t just say that. Or use backspace. Anyway, I gave my dibs on her, which was a real thing I had, to my dear friend lunoboom who thus has megadibs. Now, I still reserve the right to post her but I acknowledge that someone else has megadibs. Thing is, the universe has been telling me to post her. An old friend popped back up on tumblr and our friendship started because of Leighton. And pictures of her have popped up in the strangest places, including my Google Now screen with it telling me I might like the last picture here of her. And now joke, as I got to the second sentence of this article Air Supply’s All Out of Love started playing and if that’s not a sign (Legihton if you’re reading this I am apparently so lost without you). Despite the Universe’s attempts to push me towards her I am not taking my dibs back because while she is gorgeous and talented I know it is just temporary. Despite the endless wisdom that exists in 80’s Pop Ballads I know this will pass. More importantly taking back dibs is a douche bag move and if there is one thing I am not it is a Douche Bag. So Izzy still has megadibs because I am not a Douche Bag but because she is great today I want to fuck Leighton Meester.
I am begining to think it is a rule if you make an indie comedy these days it has to have either Lucy Punch or Tyler Labine in it. Or both. I say this because in the last week or so just from random Netflix suggestions, life, and friends I have seen 4 movies with Lucy Punch in them and 4 Movies with Tyler Labine and that only totals 5 movies because they were in three together (Somebody Marry Barry, Cottage Country, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy). That feels really bizarre, people just do not work together that often in a 2 year period. It also feels like the universe is telling me something because other than being disappointed by the middle of the road comedies that aren’t that great my eyes were drawn to Lucy Punch every time. I posted her once before ages ago because she was my favorite thing on Ben and Kate. now, I realize I may be the only one looking at her in these movies and going, “Man, she’s hot” but that is my reaction. She is also hilarious. Also British and Blonde so maybe that’s why I am the only one having that reaction, I seem to have a thing. Or something. Anyway, terrible to mediocre movies or not, she always entertains me, doing the best she can with material that is not always great. She is always funny. I like funny. I like her. Today I want to fuck Lucy Punch.
Here is Jennifer Ellison for no reason at all. Well, I mean I guess because of boobs if we were to break it down at it’s most basic level? I don’t know, I just know she was the desktop my computer chose this morning and it was like, yeah, ok, I can dig that. Next thing I know I am posting Jennifer Ellison. Cause you know, boobs mainly I guess? I mean if I am being honest cause I haven’t seen her in a movie or anything anytime recently. I am not British so she doesn’t like show up on TV over here. But she’s attractive and for whatever reason I have always liked her a lot since seeing her in the Cottage (which I have discussed before, I have zero idea why that movie stuck with me like it did). Anyway, she is pretty and she is blonde and British so today I want to fuck Jennifer Ellison.
I don’t know who the actress from the 1940’s is that I find most attractive because I have never sat around trying to figure that out. Which is strange because that seems exactly like the sort of thing I would sit around doing. But I haven’t. If I had to go out on a limb though I’d say there’s a good chance it is Veronica Lake. She is gorgeous and honestly I am a bit of a sucker for a tragedy. And man, was she a tragedy. She was very much a Hollywood cliche in that she followed in the footsteps of many of the leading sex symbols who came before her, since I figure many of you don’t even know who she is I’ll share the tale as briefly as I can. I figure most people just skip over what I write anyway. She was discovered at 18 because girls were always discovered as teenagers then and already ticked off a lot of the bullet points that were needed for the cliched ending we’re heading towards, she came from an abusive household, her father was dead, her mother was domineering and controlling and the terror of a stage mother we all have heard about. She was a major star before 20 and began to very quickly struggle with alcoholism. She struggled with mental illness. She had a reputation for being a huge bitch which given that she was an alcoholic with mental illness it isn’t exactly surprising she might have had moments that people found off putting. Of course, this is where I am always torn in the history because she was kicked out of Catholic School for being “too rebellious” which means in my mind one of two things, either she was trouble and we see that in all the tales of her raging bitchdom or she was someone who thought for herself and thus was a woman who “didn’t know her place” in the world of the 1940’s. I suppose it could be both. Anyway, she made some pretty awesome movies in the 40’s with Alan Ladd because she wasn’t even 5 feet tall and they needed someone to make him look not so short on screen. He was also a big time drinker. She lost children, she lost friendships and at 27 she was a has been. This is in part because a lot of people found her hard to work with and in part because as a society we can really be just a bag full of dicks sometimes when it comes to famous people. We get tired of them. Especially women. And while it’s bad today, it was terrible then, a female star was too old to matter by her late 20’s and typically driven out of the limelight by the unforgiving studio system. She faded into almost nothingness and died of hepatitis and kidney problems in the 3arly 70’s at 50. It is sad because she was in a bunch of good movies and she had an ability to be cold and charismatic at the same time on the screen. But really it’s sad because it’s someone who was chewed up and spit out before the eyes of millions and no one really cared. Which is a pretty melancholy way to end this but you know, it’s 5 in the morning, I am too tired to be chipper and sometimes there just isn’t a happy ending. She was beautiful though and so today I want to fuck Veronica Lake.
Guy it has been no joke a year since I posted Karen Gillan last. Actually, correction, it has been since December 2, 2012, so it has been a year and a half since I posted Karen Gillan. This is a crime because I love Karen Gillan. The issue is, despite loving her and my belief that soon she will be just a mega star, new pictures of her show up very infrequently. And she isn’t on a show I watch anymore so she never shows up on my TV and so… maybe Guardians of the Galaxy will make her a mega star but since I hear she’s only in a few minutes of it I am not entirely sure that will happen. I can hope though! Anyway, I finally got around to seeing Oculus. I say finally because as a person who enjoys horror people seem to think it is my job to see all horror. It is not my job but admittedly I do seem to see it all eventually. I just didn’t see it in theaters (and didn’t hear great things) so I waited until now. It was ok. It had a lot of good ideas. Karen gave it her all. It just… it unfortunately had it’s problems. But she was pretty and more than anything it was a reminder that she is just amazing. Gorgeous and charismatic and seriously can we work on making her a bigger star? For my sake? That would be great, get on that. Today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.
I know Anna Kendrick just showed up here a few days ago so it’s like Anna Kendrick central but allow me to make the following exigent points:
- She proved to be quite popular last time
- She is amazing and fantastic and 100% crush worthy
- Look at her
See? Suddenly you can see why I couldn’t NOT post Anna Kendrick today. She is definitely amazing and in my defense a lot of her presence today has to do with amazing friends pointing out her amazingness to me. Sorry about that sentence, I had Maybe I’m Amazed stuck in my head earlier. Anyway, she is great, and after I posted her Wednesday I was sent an article where she says she hasn’t been hit on in 5 years. This means one of two things, either guys are too intimidated to ever hit on her (which lets be honest, men are idiots and shoot to high way too often) or she is socially oblivious. I get that second one, it makes her more endearing. I have stood around being flirted with before and had not a single clue about it until afterwards when someone pointed it out. It’s a human fallibility especially among the dorky to forget we are desirable human beings. And that’s the sort of thing that makes her so crushworthy, right, it’s so easy to imagine Anna Kendrick being your best friend or whatever. Because she is great. And today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.
Here is Emma Watson because I think I might have had a dream about Emma Watson. I think so. I can’t be sure but I woke up thinking about her and have some snippets of thoughts about her that are strange. So maybe I did? I have no idea. All I know is I woke up thinking about her and she’s pretty so here she is. Enjoy, I know you kids love your Emma Watson and your slap bracelets and your skateboards and rap music. Today I want to fuck Emma Watson.
















































