So Halloween is rapidly approaching and that seems like a good a reason as any to post Mosh in a bunch of cat costumes. Because… why not? I mean, to be honest I don’t really need an excuse to post Mosh or to post Mosh in cat costumes or whatever. She is gorgeous and she is hot but there is some synergy here so I’ll claim that’s why. I have written a book about her in the past but I don’t have a ton more to say here other than Mosh is unbelievably gorgeous and today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.
So I had a dream last night that Captain America and I were in Medieval France fighting zombies because… of course we were. She-Hulk was there too for a little bit but then my brain kind of forgot about her which I choose to think is my Brain’s meta commentary on what is happening to her fantastic comic at the moment. Anyway, we were there fighting zombies in this French village and I saved Jennifer Lawrence who was a medieval French villager but also still Jennifer Lawrence. Because again, of course she was. Anyway, I saved her and she was pretty cool and nice and thus here we are. I feel like I earned this post because I fought zomibes for it. Or like, Zombies my brain made up. Brain Zombies. I fought brain zombies and it was cool. Anyway, Jennifer Lawrence is great, yadda yadda yadda. Dreams are the best. Today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.
So the Taylor Swift charm offensive continues and by continues I mean basically I started following her on Tumblr shortly after she started regularly using tumblr and I almost feel like I owe her a huge apology. Or not almost, I guess I do. I avoid going negative here as much as possible and I don’t think I ever said anything mean but you can definitely see an evolution from sorta joking about her dating some and explaining how I was not really that into her to now when I claim she is on a charm offensive. I guess sometimes it’s easy to forget people are well.. people. Especially online. Especially celebrities. And who knows, she’s 24 years old, it is entirely possible she was unbearable 5 years ago because holy Christ I know I was at 19 and I probably still was at 24. Or maybe she was awesome then and is awesome now and just got a bum wrap. Or maybe she’s a horrible human being and secretly eats babies and has just gotten really good at seeming charming. The point is I can’t actually know because I don’t know her. She seems pretty awesome though. And really it serves to remind us maybe we should not judge anyone too harshly when all we have to go on are glimpses of whatever. (Also, dating a lot of people is maybe not the greatest crime in the world). Who knows, she seems pretty great now other than not following me I can see no flaws. Yes, I implied that for some reason she should be following a creepy blog on tumblr and that not doing so is a flaw in her. She might be pretty good at a lot of stuff but my ego way out strips hers. Take that. Anyway, I have to say there is something special about a celebrity using tumblr the way normal people use tumblr, it feels like a bit of a peak behind the curtain. Or maybe I am wrong and just dazzled by beauty. I feel like that would have happened earlier though. Either way she is great and today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.
Mockingbird! Mockingbird guys! I kind of knew this post was going to be inevitable when it was announced that Adrianne Palicki was going to be Bobbi Morse. I was excited because this is what I always wanted SHIELD to be, a way to have the nooks and crannies of the marvel universe fleshed out on screen. And I love Mockingbird. I mean she’s not a-list but this is so much better than the first season when it was all Z-list or just no list people. She is like… decidedly C+. I’m going with C+. But I love her. And it’s really exciting. And that doesn’t even get tot he part where I just love Adrianne Palicki. Because I love everyone associated with Friday Night Lights and she is one of the many, many great things about that show. She was so good on it as Tyra and I can’t wait to see what she can do with Bobbi. I wish Hollywood gave her more work but I appreciate that they have decided from now on she is just going to play asskickers. It makes sense, look at her, she’s a damn amazon. I love it. I mean, Mockingbird guys! We have a total badass on the show now! I am so pumped! Today I want to fuck Adrianne Palicki.
You have likely surmised if you’ve been following me a while and you actually read the words on your screen, I happen to like Kristen Bell. A lot. Which is why she is here today. I haven’t seen her in anything recently. No official reason she has popped into my head. She is just here. Or maybe I am wrong, I read some old thing I wrote yesterday from about 8 years ago and it had a reference to my attraction to her. Maybe that sparked it. Either way it goes to show how long I have had this obsession. I can’t really be blamed, she is talented and charming and amazing so what am I supposed to do? Pretend she isn’t? Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.
Here is Blake Lively who has shown up a lo this week. At least I think it was all this week. I dunno, it started with her announcing she was pregnant and then very obviously being pregnant and I feel like I have seen new pictures of her every day. None of these are actually those pictures but you know, whatever. It happens. Anyway, here she is because she is just so classically beautiful sometimes and I like how glamorous she can look. It’s that simple. Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.
So I was sitting here and I was like, “Who did I post today?" Then it was like, "Oh crap, I didn’t post today”. This is hardly the latest I have ever posted, I have like 8 hours left but I actually thought I had. The only way I realized I hadn’t was because I couldn’t remember who. Then I was like, that’s because I basically haven’t thought about it today. I’ve been busy. So I made my way to a computer and there sitting in front of me is Kate Upton. On the screen. I guess I don’t need to clarify but I will. If Kate Upton had been sitting there I wouldn’t be posting at this moment. No, I’d either be on my knees begging, “Pleeeeease” or washing pepper spray out of my eyes. Or you know, braiding her hair and watching scary movies. I might be able to talk her into it! A lot of people tell me I am extremely charming. Anyway, it’s kind of sort of incredibly well documented at this point that I adore Kate Upton and find her very attractive. So today I want to fuck Kate Upton.
The best thing about posting Candice Swanepoel, and this is admittedly just a thing for me, is how ridiculously easy it is to dig up pictures for her. See, I can count on like 200-500 new pictures of her some weeks. The wonders of mainstream models and catalogs. I should point out that I started this post off by saying what I like about Candice Swanepoel is that she’s easy and I was about 3 sentences in before I realized how that sounded. It has derailed me, I had a larger point than the easy of finding pictures but I can’t remember now. Anyway, she’s pretty so just look at the pictures and enjoy. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.
Guys, I am not the type to just start the rumor mill going but I have been looking at pictures of Kristen Bell and I think she’s pregnant. I know, I know how can I tell? Well, guys, I look at pictures of celebrities a lot, it’s what I do. I can notice the subtle changes and I am like… 80% sure she might be with child. She is of course gorgeous. And everyone knows I love her because she is absolutely amazing. Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.
I overheard a strange conversation the other day down at the local dive a few blocks down the street. It has been the best place to overhear stuff in the past because it often baffles the mind. Anyway, someone said they love Natalie Dormer because of how she makes them feel. And my scumbag brain immediately went to, “Aroused”. This person is saying they like Natalie Dormer because she makes her feel aroused. I could be wrong but that’s where my brain went and I think it’s not just because I am a scumbag. I mean, that’s a big factor but there is an undeniable sensuality to her. I feel like it’s half the reason she is so popular. She just oozes something that is irresistible. I guess the other half is the sort of smirking confidence. I guess actually maybe those are the same thing because confidence is sexy and a lot of her sexiness seems tied up in the feeling that she knows something. Or knows what she wants. Or I don’t know. Today she is making me feel things so today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.
Who I want to Fuck Today 