So the Hunger Games Rumbles onwards. The good thing about this is that we get lots of Jennifer Lawrence. I mean, I have nothing against the Hunger Games, I think it’s definitely better than most YA stuff, I just also probably won’t see it until it hits Netflix or something. I am just glad to see her because she’s pretty and it’s nice to see her smiling and so on. I don’t really have a lot to say, it’s the end of a long week so I will just say today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.
I usually am not a fan of what are referred to as candids (or sometimes street style to get even further from what they are) because they aren’t great quality and they feel vaguely creepy. Just people camped outside someone’s house to snap a million picture of them the second they go outside. You know, it lacks to subtleness and lack of creepiness of my blog I guess, which is of course a bastion of cosmopolitan sophistication and patrician constraint. I fall prey to paparazzi pictures of Taylor Swift though because she has just the best damn taste and I can’t help it. I don’t remember her always dressing this well. Maybe I didn’t notice but I don’t remember 5 years ago being amazed how everything from her coat to her shoes were perfect. Whatever, her sense of style is epic so here are some very recent examples Because she has amazing fashion sense. And she looks amazing. So today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.
Once upon a time, like a million years ago now, I was talking about girls with a friend and she told me one of the girls I liked was pretty but she wasn’t really into, “playing dress up”. (Ok, no reason to be coy, it is whole-lies-and-half-smiles who said it). I think it might have been a nice way of saying she doesn’t like models cause I am pretty sure I was discussing Miss Mosh. Either way, the simply truth is I really like dress up. It’s fun. It’s sexy. When I saw pictures of Candice Swanepoel dressed as an Angel I was pretty sure she was going to show up here today. I love the golden wings, I love the way she looks and frankly despite the fact that I have well documented here that she is secretly obsessed with me with what can only be called conclusive-not-at-all-delusional evidence, I happen to like her a lot. So today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.
Yes, it’s Kate Upton again. Kate Upton showing up here is a reality everyone should be used to at this point. It’s like my Grandma always said, if you follow my blog you’re going to get a lot of Kate Upton. For years we thought she had dementia, it turns out she was just clairvoyant. Or I could be making it up, you’ll never know. Well, you’ll probably be pretty sure you know but technically you have no way of knowing with absolute certainty. Very few things are certain. Here is what I know to be certain. Kate Upton is very attractive. I am very attracted to Kate Upton. She is blonde. She is popular. There is backlash. I don’t care because I like her a lot. She is pretty. She has a very nice body. She is not fat. And I am for-sure-100%-positive-cross-my-heart-hope-to-die certain that today I want to fuck Kate Upton.
Here is Kate Upton because Kate Upton is hot. I cracked the code guys, I figured out Kate Upton is hot! It’s taken 48 posts but I finally did it, I finally figured out that Kate Upton is hot and that’s why she’s popular. Is there a Nobel for being an internet perv cause if so I just earned it! Anyway, I love Kate Upton on account of her hotness but also she just seems fun. She smiles a lot, she seems to enjoy herself. Those are good traits. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.
Thank you for all the birthday wishes yesterday guys. That post got more notes than any other Kristen Bell post has, I dunno if that was because of my birthday or everyone finally woke up on how great she is. Thanks either way. Today i am posting Natalie Dormer because I woke up with her on my mind. Quite a few times. I had multiple dreams about her last night it seems and I don’t entirely remember them all but multiple times I woke up during the night thinking about her. I remember seeing her name on a list in one dream. I remember… I remember some stuff. I don’t know why my brain was obsessed with her but I am not complaining because she’s pretty great. I’ll take it, there are way worse people to think about all day. Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.
So today is my birthday, If you didn’t know. I assume everyone knew cause you probably are planning who I want to fuck today celebrations at this moment. I know it’s a big day for you guys. Truth be told my weekend was a little lame but that’s what happens as you get older, this shit matters a lot less. Anyway, I am picking Kristen Bell because it’s my birthday and I think she is perfect. Nothing else to say really. Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.
Katie Cassidy is probably the only celebrity that my brain has a theme song to. Like I see her and it starts playing in my head. I may have mentioned this before. It’s the Partridge Family’s “I Think I Love You” which will of course be what they write on the restraining order. It’s not really my fault, her dad is the one singing the song and that’s how my brain works. Not that I think that explanation makes it any more normal or less bizarre. I have labeled Katie Cassidy one of my obscure crushes here before but I am not sure that really applies much now that Arrow is popular but either way I doubt what she is looking for is someone to lean in and softly whisper in her ear, “You look so lovely tonight. You make me think of your dad”. Anyway, she is lovely and I adore her and so today I want to fuck Katie Cassidy.
This is probably the most 80’s post I have ever made. Not just because Linnea Quigley was one of the premier scream queens of the 1980’s, or because my attraction to her is very much rooted in my childhood in the 1980’s, but because look at her. It’s so 80’s it hurts. If you have seen much in the way of 1980’s horror I can promise you that you have seen her die horribly at least once. I can’t swear by it but this is probably the 3rd year in a row I have thought about posting Linnea Quigley. It is hard to find pictures of her and honestly my personal attraction to her is pretty much rooted in one single movie. I know for a lot of people her pushing lipstick into her nipple (and I mean into, like inside) was some seminal moment but it never did it for me. Anyway, pictures aren’t easy to find, including I really want to include shots from Return of the Living Dead but… they are super naked. You can find gifs in this helpful post here. Anyway, I absolutely love Return of the Living Dead and have since I was 10 when I first saw it. I also declared her to be ridiculously hot when I saw it then. I am not even sure I fully understood how hot I thought she was but that visual of her ripping her top open (I mean, you clicked the link right? There are boobs so be careful but… click the link) and dancing in the graveyard stuck in my head for years. Feel free to guess what movie I watched last night. Anyway, the movie was released on DVD in the early 2000’s and I got it and told my friends it ruled and made a bunch of sit down and watch it. I pointed to her when she first showed up and said, “She is ridiculously hot”. I got some shrugs and whatever until the graveyard dance scene. At that point one of my friends actually said, “Holy shit, you were right!" Which is the real lesson of this post: Never doubt me, I am always right. Today I want to fuck Linnea Quigley
I actually forgot I hadn’t posted today. It isn’t so much that I forgot to post as that it has been a busy day and this morning I was like, “I’ll post this afternoon”. Then this afternoon I kind of assumed I must have posted. Then this eventing I couldn’t remember who I posted. Because I hadn’t posted. So here is Taylor Swift not because of her so much (I mean because of her but you know) but because she is ubiquitous at the moment. The push for 1989 is so huge I would not be stunned if she knocked on my door tonight, told me personally it was out and then moved on to knock on the next door. This isn’t a criticism so much as it is an observation. Taylor Swift is everywhere. Given that I am finding her pretty charming these days this is an ok thing. It’s better than like… I dunno highly offensive and racist Ray Rice costumes being everywhere. But American is better than that so I am sure that isn’t a thing. Anyway, Taylor Swift is gorgeous and as inescapable as death and taxes so I give up. She wins. Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.
Who I want to Fuck Today 