Tag: blonde

I actually had a few people I wanted to post today, a bit of an internal debate.  It was tough but I guess deep down I always knew who would show up today.  Had you asked me a week ago I could have guessed.  We are so close to six seasons and a movie I can smell it.  Clearly, Community is back and I am very happy.  Clearly that meant Alison Brie or Gillian Jacobs was going to be posted (sorry Ariana Grande, Scarlett Johansson, and Amy Acker, you all fought well in the battlefield that was my libido but the deck was stacked against you).  With such a tough choice though I couldn’t really elimate either or, so I fell back on this old crutch, it isn’t the first time they showed up together.  I doubt it will be the last.   Today I want to fuck Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs.

New Year, same old posts, right?  I’d apologize but I am not sorry.  Happy 2014 everyone, I am still all stuffed up and sleepy and like a little out of it.  But I am with it enough to know that I am very attracted to Kate Upton.  So I am posting Kate Upton.  For what, if I counted right, is the 35th time.  That’s a lot of posts.  I know that.  I find her slightly attractive, so…  well, today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

As you may or may not know I have started a full Buffy rewatch, which is a big undertaking but it had to be done.  See, it came to my attention my friend Izzy had never seen the show so the only solution was for me to watch it and pressure her into doing the same. I do want to take this chance to tell you guys to watch it.  I am not going to pull the old person thing and tell you Buffy is better than your generations vampire fiction (it is) or that it will change your life (it won’t, not really, it’s a TV show, you’ll like it, TV shows shouldn’t actually change your life, just nudge it a little), I won’t even point out that basically all modern TV owes a huge debt to Buffy’s style of story telling and writing (It does but I’m a nerd.  I majored in history at one point in my life, I listen to history podcasts, the history of shit, TV included is way more important to me than normal people).  I will just tell you it’s very good, it holds up, and it addresses a lot of universal issues about growing up that we all can stand to see addressed.  But anyway, back to Buffy, my friend Izzy as you may or may not know is totally gay for lesbianism, and as such she pretty much immediately fell in love with Buffy Summers.  Crushes on fictional characters are interesting because they aren’t real but we probably know fictional characters better than we know actual real people in our lives.  We get to see pretty intimate stuff.  So I get the fictional crush.  For me I have had Buffy fantasies but they tend to be us beating up Vampires together and being awesome friends more than us getting married.  I realize I am in the minority there, most people were way into Buffy.  For some reason Buffy and SMG inspire a total lust for friendship and hanging out in me.  But I get that they are pretty.  And Buffy is a superhero.  So sometimes, just sometimes, I am like, yeah, I want to make out with Buffy.  Because she’s a Vampire Slayer.  I mean, I saw a female fire fighter once come into my building and I was like, wow, hot.  A Vampire Slayer is like a fire fighter times 100.  So sometimes I like Buffy.  Today I like Buffy.  Today I want to fuck Buffy Summers.

I woke up sick today.  Which is horrible.  I mean, on the actual scale of horrible things it’s pretty low but I didn’t want to get sick during the holidays.  I could feel it coming yesterday, too.  I was tired, my throat was starting to feel a little thick, I knew it was coming.  I tried to ignore it but i knew it.  Now I have a cold.  All of this has me thinking about the Neil Young song “A Man Needs a Maid”.  It is a pretty misogynistic song but it has stood the test of time not because of misogyny but because it speaks to a universal sometimes loneliness.  And a need to sometimes have someone come along and just take care of us.  Just someone to keep my house clean, fix my meals and go away.  I mean, ok, not really but I get the appeal when I am sick.  I basically just want some soup.  Then I want to sleep and not really interact with someone.  So I don’t know why Holly Willougby sprung to mind for this except that she is very pretty and seems somehow innately nurturing.  Or maybe I am just kind of lightheaded because my sinuses are so blocked up.  It could be lots of things, that’s the magic of this blog, complex ambiguity.   Anyway, today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

I have not actually seen American Hustle yet, though I would like to.  I look forward to it.  This is just because… both Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence look so damn good in the promos.  Both of them.  It’s so strange because frankly the 70’s was not the best time in my mind for women’s fashion.  Outside of Lynda Carter I can’t really think of any 70’s obsession.  But that’s the trick with any sort of period dress and Hollywood, isn’t it?  They evoke the era but fill it with enough modern sensibilities to make it seem attractive, not silly. Either way they both look amazing.  To the point that I keep thinking about it even though I haven’t seen the movie.  So here I am giving in.  Today I want to fuck Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence.

Do you believe in coincidence?  Don’t answer, that’s rhetorical.  I hope you do.  Actually do answer that, if you don’t believe in coincidence at all and think everything is part of some conspiracy you are exactly who I want filling my inbox.  Seriously, message me.  But back to the subject at hand, sometimes coincidences in real life happen and they make you believe something must be at work (usually that something is, in my opinion, selection bias, you only notice it when you’re looking for it).  Anyway, coincidence ahoy, I am adding pictures to this post and I notice it’s going to be my 666th post.  It makes total sense given that she is like half demon.  Or all demon.  Look, I don’t know which it is ask her, I am not some sort of demon expert.  The thing is she is a demon in whole or part so the 666 thing makes sense.  I think.  Again I could be wrong, my knowledge of demons is pretty severely limited to episodes of Supernatural and those times I played Dark Stalkers in a shitty arcade while my brother playing indoor soccer downstairs.  Like, for one, I thought demons were mean or evil.  In my experience Pigeon Foo is a delight.  She is pleasant and kind and very open and friendly.  Now, I am not going to claim I know everything about her, we haven’t actually exchanged friendship bracelts or anything (yet) but she did declare me her tumblr bestie once upon a time.  I remebmer because I immediately rushed out to tell my mom who said, “You run what kind of blog?"  To which I said, "What? No/  This isn’t even me, it’s my brother.  He runs the creepy blog”.  But that’s not the story of this post, that’s the story of why I can never, ever go home again.  Seriously though, Pigeon Foo isn’t just pretty and half naked, she is pretty and half naked AND pretty awesome and half demon.  Or whole demon.  I know her but I’m not like her biographer.  I don’t even know if she has a biographer.  Again, that’s a question for her.  Check out her blog (and while your at it Hollow’s as well cause he also seems cool and takes most of the pictures anyway).  Or don’t.  I’m not actually the boss of you (yet).  It’s all just a suggestion.  Man, this one was rambly, it’s a lot of pressure writing a post like this about someone you’re buddies with, so cut me a little slack.  The real point is that today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

I have friends who go to tropical islands around Christmas and often not with family.  That strikes me as very strange.  I like sun and sand and all of that but everything in it’s place and place for everything, Christmas is not about the beach.  Santa don’t surf and I don’t think he should.  So when I picked Candice Swanepoel today I worked hard to avoid bikinis, even though those are so plentiful.  You’re welcome for the yuletide cheer I have provided you.  I am heading home in just a few minutes to be with family and hope it gets colder than the stupid hot it is right now.   I wish you all visions of sugar plums and stuff, my visions will likely involve the fact that today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

So I started my first Kato post by explaining that Steampunk was cool and then taking that back and saying it was dorky as hell but so cool.  I still feel that way, it is so nerdy but my first reaction to seeing it is always to go, “ooooo, that’s so awesome”!  Because it is so awesome!  Anyway, I was talking about that and then talking about Kato just a bit earlier.  That got me thinking about Kato who is just super attractive.  And pretty awesome.  And yeah, the steampunk stuff helps, so do the awesome hair.  And the cool outfits.  But it’s also just cool.  I like it.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Kato.

If you were to ask me who I was most attracted to of all the Buffyverse types it would… well it would probably be one of two people.  Maybe three.  Typically dictated by what I had seen most recently.  But that means whole series done, which is the state I usually am at, the answer is usually going to be Emma Caulfield, which I think puts my significantly outside the norm.  Not that people talk about her being ugly or anything it’s just that is she has legions of people who think she was the hottest on Buffy they are a silent legion.  But I always found her attractive.  The most attractive.  I am not entirely sure why.  There is something to be said for Anya herself.  From an analytical perspective arguments have been made she was the only truly sexually liberated female on the show, in that she was never punished for transgressing the allowed role of female sexuality.  That’s a whole thing though and I would argue it is not entirely true.  But also, things got bleak late in the show, a lot of angst and stuff and it made Anya one of the few bright spots, if she was in a scene it was usually a lot more fun.  Of course, I specifically watched a movie called Timer just because Emma Caulfield was in it and that had nothing to do with Anya, so maybe I just find her really pretty and she has that thing that appeals to me.  Who knows.  I don’t.  I just know that today I want to fuck Emma Caulfield.

Blake Lively is pretty.  Blake Lively hasn’t shown up here in a long time.  Yet  she was almost my pick many times this month.  I don’t know why, she just keeps showing up on my dash.  I don’t really have anything more interesting to say about her though.  She’s pretty and today I want to fuck Blake Lively.