I am watching the bronze medal match for field hockey and as a reminder I will point out later today that Ellen Hoog and the Netherlands will be playing for the goal so all those people who have been interested in who she is (and again, I do name her in the post, so I am confused as to why you are confused) can see her at 4 PM today.  The Bronze match is always a little melancholy for me because someone is going home empty handed despite a whole lot of work.  I am sure it will be heartbreaking and heartbreak sucks.  You put all your heart and soul into something and it doesn’t work out and it’s all you can do to keep it together sometimes.  Which brings me to the real point of today’s post and the point of the Olympics.  My friend @wildflagsure is going through some heartbreak and the real truth is there is nothing any of us can do to make that better.  We can’t just turn it off or make things ok because that’s not how the world works.  But we can all help a little by sending her a message and trying our best to brighten her day.  It’s part of the Olympic spirit because she’s Greek, so you’ll be fostering relations with another nation.  I mean, chances are you aren’t Greek.  Not like, real Greek, like her.  Like, I mean real Greek, like all real Greek women she has been seduced by Zeus disguised as something else at some point, she only eats gyros, and has to walk around on egg shells because you pick the wrong god damned flower and some total dick of a nymph will turn you into a tree.  Anyway, you should reach out and just tell her you hope she has a good day or… anything really.  It sucks to be heartbroken.  And so I am posting Ellen Hoog today because she is playing but also the part I like best about the Olympics is that it can make me feel pretty good.  I’d like my friend to feel good.  Also, she did agree that Ellen Hoog is hot, which makes sense because Greek people have eyes like the rest of us.  Oh my god, the Olympics are working, I’m realizing we’re all not so different.  We all have eyes and are attracted to Ellen Hoog.  Amazing.  Today I want to fuck Ellen Hoog.

I am streaming field hockey on my phone next to my computer as I work here and as I was typing this yesterday’s pick just was part of a pretty cool scoring play.  New Zealand is handling Australia pretty well.  This is going to be about Ellen Hoog though, as a public service.  Which, ok, obviously this blog is almost always a public service.  You’re welcome.  But I posted her a few days ago and it got a pretty good reaction, including a lot of “Oh my god” and “Who is she?” sort of things sent my way.  Which… um, that second question, I get that sometimes and I really want to point out all those words that follow the pictures? That usually answers that.  At least a little bit.  But I get it, she’s gorgeous.  Like model gorgeous.  It’s why pictures of her are easy because she’s pretty and pretty enough that just being pretty would probably be enough for her to show up in pictures if she wanted but she’s also a two time gold medalist and an elite athlete.  So the public service part is this: you can see her play today.  Sure there is only a quarter left in the game I am watching right now but Ellen Hoog? Her match is at 7:30 ET tonight.  You have lots of time to prepare for that, and since The Dutch seem to be the best at this, you can watch the best do it.  And after some discussion yesterday it was concluded their Orange uniforms are the prettiest uniforms.  They do really pop on the blue turf.  So you know, give it a shot.  Because it’s fun and she’s gorgeous.  Today I want to fuck Ellen Hoog.

I really feel like this post should start with an apology to like half the girls I knew in high school.  I never watched you play field hockey and part of that was I was busy but part of that was it sure sounded boring.  Turns out I was wrong, it’s actually pretty engaging, though I could do with out the bright blue Boise State Astroturf at this Olympics.  Anyway, I have been watching a good bit of it this week and I am not an expert but I know a few tings because I am me.  One is that the Dutch team is really good.  And that Ellen Hoog has been among the most suggested athletes for me to post on this blog since London at least. She’s won two gold medals with the team and is also notably very attractive.  I think maybe she’s a big star in the Netherlands?  Or maybe not at all, it’s impossible to tell from the outside but it seems like she is.  They seem to take their field hockey very seriously.  Anyway, I am watching them play New Zealand, who also appear to be very good, and am impressed by the athleticism but also that these teams look like they are loaded with supermodels.  Which kinda makes sense because I was sent an article this weekend about the hottest team at the Olympics being this Dutch team.  I didn’t even know the IOC tracked that but there we go.  They appear to be very good at what they do and I worry for their bare legs but it feels like there should be some padding there, that ball is coming in pretty fast.  I would at least want pants.  Today I want to fuck Ellen Hoog.