Tag: Jessica Chastain

So Jessica Chastain just showed up in Interview Magazine and the photos were pretty good.  And that’s why she’s here.  I saw them yesterday afternoon and I had a pretty good idea she’d be here.  I happen to like her a great deal, I think that’s clear.  She is such a talented actress and I still haven’t seen the Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby (I am kind of tempted to wait for the Him and Her cuts however that happens) but I am excited to.  This isn’t really about that though.  I mean, it always is a little bit, a bunch of my attraction to her is tied up in the fact that she is crazy talented.  But my immediate attraction to her is tied up in the fact that she looked elegant and sexy.  So today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

So a lot of people have told me that they don’t find Jessica Chastain attractive.  This is odd because I actually can’t think of times I have asked people if they found her attractive.  Usually when someone feels the need to voice an opinion counter to yours it is because they think you are so wrong they can’t hold back.  I get this, I’m human (yes, I know, I seem super human, how can one person manage to find some beautiful woman desirable every day.  It’s amazing!  But really, I’m just like you, only with a better blog).  Like I once knew this girl who just would not shut the fuck up about the healing power of crystals and it took a Herculean effort not to tell her she was a fucking moron.  And I’m not Hercules so I told her she was a fucking moron.  And that no it wasn’t just my option that there was no evidence crystals heal anything, that’s actually fact.  And no knowledge is democratic.  And yes she does have a right to believe what she wants but no it doesn’t make her as right as I am.  I mean, those people really get me, believe whatever batshit non evidence backed thing you want but please don’t tell me all fact is opinion.  Anyway, this took a strange turn about crystals but what i was saying is this is I guess what happens to people when they hear me say Jessica Chastain is attractive.  They think I am so wrong they can’t keep quite.  Well, I am here to tell you that you’re a fucking moron.  Now, I know you’re saying that’s unfair, taste is subjective and there is no right or wrong.  But what I am saying is while you can read these words I can’t hear what you’re saying to your computer screen.  Quit talking to your computer screen!  People will think you’re crazy.  But mainly neener neener I can’t hear you!  So that makes me right!  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

I always get excited when I see Jessica Chastain because I really like Jessica Chastain.  Obviously I find her attractive, it kind of goes without saying if I am posting her but I also really, really like her body of work and keep hoping for more.  Soon.  And I know there is stuff coming down the pipe but I want it now.  So I see her and it’s exciting because she doesn’t show up a ton and it makes me eager.  She was at a film and music festival in Italy this past weekend (Emily Ratajkowski was there, too, it’s like an odd pairing of celebrities to be the ones to show up.  It’s hard for me to parse that in my brain).  She looked good in some of the pictures I saw and I was like, ok, well, I know who I am posting today.  So there you go, today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

Here is Jessica Chastain again at Cannes just because…. I thought she looked really good there?  I am not sure what else to say really because I did just post her the other day and everything is still true.  She is still beautiful and elegant and she is still not in a movie yet so I am very eagerly awaiting the release of something.  Though it looks like I have to wait until the fall for anything.  But I am excited.  And in the meantime I think she is very attractive.  So today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

This is actually the ninth time I have posted Jessica Chastain but the first time I have posted her this year, which is a bad thing.  It’s a bad thing because what it basically means is I haven’t seen her in a movie in a long time.  She really wasn’t in much in 2013 and what she was in came out really early in the year and like… it is a shame because it means I personally have gone a long time without getting to see her on screen and she is just so good on screen (and man I was so excited about the True Detective rumors.  So excited!  Oh well).  I just love watching her act.  So I am looking forward to a 2014 that will hopefully see a bunch more movies.  I get it, she was in like 5 million movies in the few years prior to her suddenly becoming a huge star so she needed a break.  Or it’s just how release schedules worked out.  I am not entirely sure, she doesn’t talk to me or anything.  Whatever the reason I am looking forward the slew of Eleanor Rigby movies and hope they are great.  I am sure she’ll be great.  Getting like 3 movies at once will be sweet.  They are at Cannes.  She is too and has looked great.  And I uh… think she’s great?  I should really buy a thesaurus.  That would be great!  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

It’s been a long time since Jessica Chastain showed up here and that’s a crime because she’s awesome.  Frankly, I feel a little cheated.  She was around so much last awards season because she was in like 30 movies and they were all great and she was great so she was just all over the place. Now she doesn’t have anything new coming out until next year.  So I went and got a copy of Mama to watch to rectify that and that day a bunch of new pics of her appear.  Which I am not complaining about!  But I rewatched Mama and I had forgotten just how… compelling she is on screen.  I can’t explain it, she is just so amazing to watch.  That isn’t a lust thing, I just mean I think she is a very fine actress.  She’s pretty, too, of course.  But she is just very good.  And that does contribute to the attraction because I just… love people who are good at what they do.  So today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

Usually after something like the VMAs I would post someone who was there and declare them the winner.  Unfortunately all I can think about is the whole Miley Cyrus thing because it dominated things and… well, I think for something to be sexy it requires a little subtlety.  If it feels desperate or obvious it just is not sexy. So, you know, no people from that.  Instead here’s Jessica Chastain for no reason other than I really like Jessica Chastain.  She certainly never seems desperate to me, she is just pretty and good at her job and that takes care of stuff.  So today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

The problem with… movie stars?  Actresses who are only in movies?  I don’t know, your term here I guess, but actresses who are in movies is they can kind of slip from sight easily.  Not all, some just are forever on gossip sites and the internet but it is a very select few.  Otherwise it depends on when movies come out.  So Jessica Chastain showed up a lot over the month and a half surrounding the Oscars but now it has been a while.   Any way she is here again and she is still gorgeous, at least I think so, I have heard from dissenters.  I will brook no dissent though about her skills as an actress, she is awesome.  So she is hot and a great actress and I am quite the wordsmith with my very original prose here.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

Jessica Chastain is such a good actress guys, which is why she’s here.  I mean, the red hair and blue eyes and being pretty doesn’t hurt but it’s her acting that puts her here.  I mean, other people have told me they don’t even think she’s that pretty, which is madness but she as universally physically lusted after as some of my picks.  As to what she is, well, she is a really, really good actress and that’s exactly why she’s here.  I’m not saying acting turns me on (that would be strange, right?  I mean someone somewhere must have this fetish but it seems even stranger to me than the balloon popping people). This blog, really, isn’t about turn ons or kinks or anything like that, it’s about attraction which is a different thing.  Which is my point about her acting, personally someone is always more attractive if they are really good at something.  They are always more attractive if you respect them.  Not that there isn’t just purely physical attraction but I find that so much more fleeting.  But someone you have respect for… well I find it harder to shake.  And she is just so good.  If you haven’t seen her in anything fix that.  If you have only seen her in one thing, fix that because you will be blown away by her range, it really makes her stand out.  Anyway, I think it is pretty clear I like her a lot and I am just going to go on and on showing that I can’t really praise acting with words other than “good” and “really good” so let’s cut to the chase.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

And Jessica Chastain is back because I am pretty much crushing on her at this point.  It’s pretty easy to explain why, she is attractive yes but more so she is so talented.  I just love her work and it is so easy to crush on someone when you have a deep respect for them.  I mean, think about it, you can totally find someone attractive and not have any respect for them.  You can even end up in bed with someone and not respect them.  You usually don’t call those people back.  But your crushes?  You think everything about them is great.  It’s pretty hard to think, “Well, that girl has no talent, is kind of stupid, is vapid… but oh my god, I am so crushing on her right now”.  It just doesn’t work.  So my point is my crush on Jessica Chastain is a sign of respect, like when a dog shows you his belly.  So… I hope she’s honored right now because today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.