Tag: Model

Last night was the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and that usually leads to me posting someone from said show. Today is no different. Now, I do have to say in advance I haven’t seen everyone and everything. I haven’t really done my due diligence on this one. No, this is really an act of kindness as everyone knows Candice Swanepoel has been throwing herself at me for years. So I am throwing her a bone. Doubly so because she is a new mother, it’s been just a few months since she had her most recent baby and I remember when she got pregnant, a certain segment of the internet that follows models was furious and declared she was going to ruin her body and get boring. Obviously, as you can see in these pictures she is very boring and her body is terrible. Good job internet, you haven’t been this vocal and right about something since someone’s grandparent posted about Obama on facebook. Well done. So, clearly, it’s an act of kindness that I throw poor Candy this bone. The poor thing, life must be really hollow being rich, famous, beautiful, and having a family she loves. Maybe one day she’ll wise up and listen to bitter strangers on the internet. Or maybe I am reading this all wrong and she actually looks incredible. Like, I could be so wrong that actually what she wore on the pink carpet was amazing enough that she would be here. Maybe. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Well guys, I was waiting on the Heidi Klum Party to really see who crushed Halloween because that’s where the winner always is (and secretly the winner is always Heidi Klum who makes me look like someone who hates Halloween every year). But then Emily Ratajkowski shared her costume. It’s Raquel Welch from One Million Years BC, whcih if you haven’t seen is a stupid, stupid movie that exists to put pretty girls in fur bikinis and have them fight dinosaurs. I of course love it and Raquel Welch looks amazing in it. Emily Ratajkowski nailed the look on multiple levels and she looks great. So I am posting her as winning Halloween. At least in this moment. Today I wantt o fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope your day is magical and full of terror. The fun terror though. Like Ghosts and Goblins, not the creeping realization of your own mortality or anything. I am posting Hannah Ray today because yesterday she shared this skeleton costume and just wow. She looks amazing. Costumes aren’t really her thing. I mean, they’re more her thing, if you don’t know, she is doing more costume like stuff recently but in my mind her real strength is her sense of fashion which is just top notch. She has a style that is so distinctly her and she just looks amazing in everything she wears. So it’s an added bonus to get that skeleton costume and just go, wow, it’s amazing. And it is amazing. so here are a lot of spooky Halloween pictures for everyone. I mean, if a skeleton wasn’t scary enough just stop and think about the bizarre sort of sentient realm some Pokemon inhabit and realize she’s dressed as someone who captures them, forces them into a tiny prison and makes them fight for her amusement and personal glory. That’s horrifying. Very spooky. Happy Halloween, today I want to fuck Hannah Ray.

So there were the InStyle awards last night and I don’t know what they are but I assume it is either fashion adjacent or just an excuse to get celebrities in a room given the magazine it’s named after. That’s not a slam, I am just saying it seems unlikely InStyle has created an award to compete with the Nobels or they have decided that the Saturn Awards can suck it and they are going to be the arbiters of what is and isn’t good in Sci-Fi. Context clues is what I am saying. I’m like Batman with my detective work. Anyway, Miranda Kerr was there and I loved her dress and she looked good. So I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Miranda Kerr.

There is this show on Netflix called the Curious Creations of Chrstine McConnell that is about the weirdest thing imaginable in the most wonderful way. I am pretty sure it’s going to be a much talked about thing here. Maybe it already is. All week Netflix has been playing the trailer when I login and often it would play and I wasn’t paying a lot of attention. Finally, after finishing The Haunting of Hill House it played and I looked and said, “What the fuck is this?” I have seen it described as a Goth Martha Stewart but that’s not really accurate. I mean, part of it is. It’s not very Goth and even if it was it wouldn’t really tell you how unique this stuff is. Now, I am not going to claim this show is life changing. It probably isn’t. Not for most people at least. I guess someone might be inspired to make a creature of the Black Lagoon cake that changes their life but for most of us it’s just a pleasantly weird thing to watch. So the Martha Stewart thing is right but other than that it’s more like something with a Horror Host. Except tonally not quite, it feels almost like a kids show in tone except it’s not for kids. I guess it’s what if Pee Wee’s Playhouse had been a parody of Martha Stewart instead of children’s shows and Pee Wee’s biggest influence was the Nightmare Before Christmas. That sorta gets it. Anyway, it’s delightful and fascinating and at the core, past the puppets and sort of storyline is Christine McConnell. Who I hadn’t heard of but wow is she cool as fuck. A deep dive into her on the internet shows you someone who makes her own clothes, makes costumes, takes strange horror themed photographs, and makes amazing cakes. And other arts and crafts. She is just a remarkable font of strange creativity and I love it. So I am posting her because it’s just really cool and I love her pictures. Today I want to fuck Christine McConnell.

So for whatever reason, it’s a mystery really as to why Youtube would think I would want to see this, Youtube put a video of Robin Holzken from her SI shoot last year. Not really my kind of thing but I watched because those people at Youtube put in hard work on their algorithms, they’re very proud of them, I wouldn’t want to make them feel bad by just clicking off of it. Watching it, it struck me, you know, Robin Holzken is very attractive. Now, I know it’s Saturday and it’s early for a lot of you, I am not trying to blow minds so I apologize if you’ve been blown away as I reveal this fact but I think women who become models are often attractive. I have started to notice what I think can’t be a coincidence there. There seems to be a real correlation. You heard it here first. So thanks I guess to Youtube for showing me the video (but no thanks to Youtube for making it really, really hard to make a gif out of said video so I gave up and made different ones). Today I want to fuck Robin Holzken.

Well It’s October. Or Spooktober. Or Rocktober. Whatever your radio station/local UHF channel has brnaded it. It’s a very flexible month. Anyway, for me that means all Halloween all the time so here is Darshelle Stevens cause costumes. More importantly, mostly Scooby Doo related costumes. I snuck in one that’s not. Again, this is like Where’s Waldo, can my most eagle eyed readers figure out which one isn’t? It’s a mystery. Just like on Scooby Doo. Which I love. And she looks good here. Today I want to fuck Darshelle Stevens.

I am sometimes fascinated with how the internet will respond to things, just something will take it by storm. Memes. Viral videos. Whatever. I don’t know why I was being obtuse about what it was. It feels like at some point it would be a fascinating field of academic study and how it mimics in person interactions and how it differs. At what point is the snake eating it’s own tail? Like, are people responding to the original idea or are they responding to the fact that so many people are responding to it. I guess I am interested in anything that is self catalyzing. Which is why Jessica Nigri is here because like the rest of the world she dressed as Bowsette. For those not in the know this is a thing that suddenly sprung forth from minds all around the world because Nintendo can cause existential crises at a whim. In this case they introduced a crown that when a normal Toadette put it on she magically looked a whole lot like Peach. This brought the very nature of reality, rule, and identity into question in the Mario Universe, which you’d think is a so what but it turns out to be rather unsettling as people question the nature of who Peach is and thus who they are. Identity is fluid in reality but it often is uncomfortable to confront that. Anyway, a few days into that revelation and suddenly half the world said, “So, like, what if Bowser put on the crown. Does he get hot all of a sudden?” I have to admit, it’s not a thing I ever would have thought of. I know gender bent stuff is popular on the internet but I have never found myself wondering along those lines and this is radically different anyway. I also have never wondered what if Boswer was hot just because, in general, and I am quoting a 7 year old here, Bowser is kind of a jerk. Boobs or not boobs, he’s not really my type. But I do love that in the course of a single week we have gone from a world where Bowser is Half Turtle Dragon Half asshole to… well, Bowsette. It’s just fascinating to see everyone embrace it and extra interesting is that like 50 cosplayers were able to throw together said cosplay in what seems like days. My dear friend Katherine pointed out, “So did they all just have spiked collars lying around?” TO which the answer is probably or it turns out that spiked collars are a lot easier to find at Walmart than I ever realized. In fairness, I have never looked. Spiked Collars and video game bad guys as hot girls are two big blind spots. Sure, I sit around and think deep thoughts a lot about the nature of reality but somehow those two have never come up. Anyway, Jessica Nigri is a cosplayer and is nothing if not able to get in on trends so she also cosplayed as Bowsette. Which is why she is here cause she looked good but also because it’s just such a fascinating phenomena to me. I had to bring it up. Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.

Emily Ratajkowski showed up in the Mexican version of Vogue and she looked hot as fuck. So she’s here. That’s about the long and short of it. When she cleans up she cleans up nice and it’s always nice to get a good pictoral from her. Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Candice Swanepoel on account of her tremendous beauty. It’s really the last picture that got her here because it feels so thoughtful. Sometimes you really want to appreciate a nice pair of shows but there’s just way too much going on to do that. There are clothes and stuff to distract you and draw the eye and you never really get to consider the shoes like you should. She took care of that problem. It’s a kindness to all of us so you can really focus on those shoes. That strap is so elegant. I love the red bottoms on heels, it always is striking. Really thoughtful of her so I decided to post her. Obviously, I have had my issues with her in the past, what with her obsessive stalking of me and all, but credit due where credit is due, this was really nice of you Candy. Thanks. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.